Halloween Party Pooper
Sorry to disappoint any Halloween hosts,
But I can’t seem to find the heart,
When confronted with vampires and ghosts,
I am just a boring old fart.
It’s an American thing, not British at all.
My childhood passed well enough without.
Therefore, this palaver is not my call,
I hardly know what it is about!
Halloween had never come to my street,
Unaware till I was twenty-nine,
So the first time I was asked, “Trick or treat?”
Well, I’d just never heard that line.
My man now says, “Shut the curtains quick!
And don’t answer the ruddy door!”
I feel mean but it gets on my wick.
Oh, why does it have to be such a chore?
Now our club is holding a Halloween do.
I just knew there’d have to be a hitch.
I’ll make an excuse though I’m sure it’s true
That I would make an excellent witch!