I didn't have a Haiku structure in mind when I wrote it, but I see what you mean. Perhaps there was something left over in my mind from the Three Haiku I published here a few days ago.

Comment is about Winter from a Window (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Dying? If so, it's...
More like the dying of the darkest night.
That heralds the wakening dawning's light.

Comment is about METRE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Nice...Is it a type of haiku?

Comment is about Winter from a Window (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Poetic minds did not freeze
instead they came to life
on this cold November night.

Comment is about November 2017 Collage Poem: Frozen (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Good to see you Nic on Monday - - - great night

Flyer

Flying out of the clouds
bolts of blazing fire
- - - or could it be
burning hot new copies
being sent from printers
for more book signings!

Comment is about Nicola Hulme (poet profile)

Original item by Nicola Hulme

I read them both ways Chris - top marks for taking the time to think it through. I shall take a read of your phone friendly poem later. Col.

Comment is about Parallel Echoes of Love (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Thanks man, much appreciated. And I'm always called the voice of reason. Which is weird because my life can be unreasonable at the best of times.

Comment is about Protest At An American Petrol Station (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

I turned up to this event on the 13th and sadly no one was present. Could you please confirm whether or not it will be on next month.

Review is about PoeTRY Workshop on 11 Dec 2017 (event)

Col - I suspect at least part of the problem is that the writing/editing page does not support tabs! The next one should be perfect for your phone!
Thanks for the comments.
I'm curious - did you realise that it could be read column by column as two 'stanza' or as a single 'stanza' with long lines with odd gaps in the middle?

Comment is about Parallel Echoes of Love (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Hi Dorinda,

I hope you feel better soon.

You and all other female WOLs were missed, it was a testosterone filled room!

Next month's theme is "waves". We discussed many types of waves, not limited to nautical but energy waves, spiritual waves, the characteristics of waves etc.

Hope to see you at the December meeting. Keep warm ?

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

thanks for the response Eric. I like the idea of starting with something big and working down to the tiny and then making the tiny appear bigger than the big. Sounds like a good writing exercise. Cheers, Col.

Comment is about Waddell Creek Beach, California, USA (blog)

Original item by Eric G. Hoff

A great idea Chris and well executed but I'm afraid it doesn't transfer well to the small screen of a smartphone where the lines get a bit jumbled. It's ok though as I'm reading it on my laptop but I did check my phone out of curiosity. Thanks for posting. I always enjoy poems that play around with formats and ideas. It shows the writer is willing to push their own boundaries. Cheers, Col.

Comment is about Parallel Echoes of Love (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

as I was reading this my son walked by singing 'don't worry about a thing' by Bob Marley which seemed an appropriate coincidence.

Comment is about Much (blog)

Original item by Adam Whitworth

I'm sorry for your loss. Beautiful work. Thank you

Comment is about Ancestral (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Hi Colin, Thanks for reading and commenting. San Diego to Orcas Island? That must have been a really wonderful trip. I hope you got lots of pictures - that is such a beautiful coast all the way up.

The elephant seals are truly a magnificent blessing there at Ano Nuevo.

The reasoning for the big "C" in ocean? I just thought it to be a play on attitude. The Pacific being a beast, it thinks highly of itself, but, in reality it is like the rest of us - a small part of this great big world. That's why I play with the structure of the poem as well. It starts out big and slowly succumbs to the energy around it to where even a dainty sandpiper is bigger than the waves lapping at the shore.

Thank you again, Colin, for your kind words. I do hope you get to visit the West Coast again.

Peace

Eric

Comment is about Waddell Creek Beach, California, USA (blog)

Original item by Eric G. Hoff

Ray thanks for the comments, I've always appreciated your feedback on my poems, will let you know about the book availability next month when hopefully I know more.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Sad and funny at the same time that poets ALWAYS have to be the voice of reason. Great poem.

Comment is about Protest At An American Petrol Station (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Thank you all for the kind comments. I'll let you know when and where available, should be available online in due course.

Comment is about Night Work - Launch (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

Thanks, MC. We seem to be a dying breed.

Comment is about METRE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Totally agree. Well said, that man!
Making a point?
Don't like to disjoint
Lines that beg to be neater?
It's hardly a crime
To prefer to rhyme -
And sweeter when tuned to the Metre!

Comment is about METRE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks Fred, much appreciated

All the best des

Comment is about The old man and his Grammaphone (blog)

Original item by DESMOND CHILDS

Loving this Des right up my street, thanks so much.

Fred

Comment is about The old man and his Grammaphone (blog)

Original item by DESMOND CHILDS

Thanks for your comments!

Comment is about Dear Donald Trump (blog)

Original item by Linda Cosgriff

Great poem. Beautiful Language and rythm. Indifference has always been the cause of, or at least not helped to avoid, suffering.

Jennifer

Comment is about Three Wishes (blog)

Original item by Erica

Thank you Tommy.

And thank you too Harry - and for your retelling of your own experience. I was more than a bit gobsmacked to find out the stat for breast cancer - 1 in 8 women. Jesus.

Comment is about Just Relax (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

A lovely piece that instantly captures the soporific weight one feels in darkness. Well done on POTW!

Comment is about 'A Room Alone' by A.M.Clarke is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Ryan - When my mother died a couple of years ago, I suddenly realised that all the family memories she had held together were vested in me - I had become the 'patriarch', if that is not putting too grand a word on it! So it is about communication and family feeling.

Comment is about Ancestral (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

I think I must have passed this beach some years back Eric but the summer sea mist somewhat spoiled in places our road trip from San Diego all the way up to Orcas Island off Washington state. There were plenty of highlights though, particularly the colony of elephant seals further down the coast.

Your poem is a vivid evocation of that landscape with some splendid imagery thrown in for good measure. I particularly like the 'Age upon age' verse. It's good to take time and sit and observe the landscapes we inhabit. Even better when there is no pesky Pacific mist to shroud it! Big Sur was certainly ethereal but it would have been nice to have seen the bigger picture too. Another time hopefully.

Out of curiosity, is there a reason for spelling oCean this way?

All the very best, Colin.

Comment is about Waddell Creek Beach, California, USA (blog)

Original item by Eric G. Hoff

A good aul mogwai, what a band! Thanks everyone for your kind words. They are very much areppreciated.

Comment is about When Bees Make Honey In A Goat's Skull (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

I can't make the second verse work Ray - maybe the 'raise' and 'tipple' lines break the flow too much. But I do think there is an important message in the poem and one that could easily be expanded upon.

as per Suki, I have avoided Christmas work parties for many years but avoiding Christmas is not so easy. btw, isn't it too early to be mentioning Christmas in a poem?

all the best, Col.

Comment is about STITCHED UP (blog)

Original item by ray pool

A very astral feel to this poem. Really enjoyed great poem.

All the best des

Comment is about Ancestral (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Congratulations A.M, nice poem

All the best des

Comment is about 'A Room Alone' by A.M.Clarke is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Keanan,

This also has a post rock title vibe to it. I could imagine Godspeed You Black Emperor or Mogwai using this.

This would be a great lyric too!

Nice wriite. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers,
Suki

Comment is about When Bees Make Honey In A Goat's Skull (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Hi there Ray,

I always avoid the work Christmas party. Your second verse reminded me of all that..

Cheers,
Suki

Comment is about STITCHED UP (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I really liked this one. May I ask what inspired you to write this piece?

Comment is about Ancestral (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

Words to live by. Was a pleasure to read ?

Comment is about The Young (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

That's powerful!
Somehow, the words 'like the inside of a suitcase' are shocking - they crash into the picture that you are painting. Perhaps because the expected might have been 'dark like...' but it is 'quiet like...' and it leaves the reader thinking. Wondering!
Such a big picture in so few words!

Comment is about A Room Alone (blog)

Original item by A.M. Clarke

I like it. Good work mate!

Comment is about STITCHED UP (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I get a feeling of freeform experimentation that has some finely sculptured thoughts and is rather satisfying and haunting. Nice one.

Ray

Comment is about When Bees Make Honey In A Goat's Skull (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Yeah love this Kealan. there are some nice lies here

Trojan Sycamores whisper in the fields
is an absolute belter

Nice one

Comment is about When Bees Make Honey In A Goat's Skull (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

love the way this one flows Zach. It would make a great live reading
Nice one

Comment is about torquemada downtime (11/06/2017) (blog)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

Nice one Tommy

Comment is about Where lays it? (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

An excellent poem. Some nice reach rich description with so few words. Puts me in mind of Dylan Thomas in some ways with your use of words.
Well deserved POTW
congratulations

Comment is about 'A Room Alone' by A.M.Clarke is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Laura,
You think this is bad? ...I recently had a C,T scan,
Before which` I was reassuringly informed, that I would be getting about four hundred times the normal dose of X ray.
and then further reassured that the scan itself can ( rarely) cause cancer But ( and this is the best bit) that two out of three people get cancer. (I suppose eventually)...At least it
sent me into it laughing.

( just thought I`d cheer everyone up ?)

Keep your poems coming!

Comment is about Just Relax (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I was completely there with you dude. I could almost smell that vinegar. I pretty much know you knocked than can of coke over. Lol. Really liked it. Thanks. Beno

Comment is about Wistful @ Wittering (blog)

Original item by David T Jones

Cynthia-
I never mind your comments! Writing, or at least mine, is meant to be read deeply and torn apart!
Your comments are always appreciated!
Thank you,
Tia

Comment is about Made of These (blog)

Original item by Tia Lattanzio

Thanks Cynthia ☺my writing was sparse for awhile as I tried to piece my gear together but have been on a writing binge the last while, as if it had built up just waiting for my mind to let it loose. Glad to be back and as always, your kind words are always appreciated

Comment is about Abilify (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Thank you Cynthia ☺ i I actually ripped off a rock band called Earth. One of their albums is called the bees made honey in the tigers skull however they probably ripped it off someone else. I'll more than likely change it as I don't like using some thing so close to the originall without asking first. In fact this will be the first time I've ever come even close. I'm going to email them and ask because they're not that famoushe. Thanks for the comment, much appreciated

Comment is about When Bees Make Honey In A Goat's Skull (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

I applaud you here Mike. As my wife has a badge we qualify for negative thoughts and envy from some , mostly kept secret of course. When a disabled space can't be found she's often hemmed in both sides. Perhaps if there was more space for each car for non disabled it might ease the situation but I doubt it.
A valid poem nicely presented. Ray

Comment is about Let's Be Each Other (blog)

Original item by Mike Bartram

Hello everyone! So sorry but I won't be at WOL this evening: think I'm coming down with a cold - I shall miss you all! Please could someone let me know the next theme? - thanks!

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL