STITCHED UP

Don't fall in love with visions

don't believe in dreams

they belong to the super rich

those who have the means. 

 

Weave their magic carpets

with resources and with thread

spend your lives in servitude

raise a tipple at Christmas

console yourselves with those worse off

one day we'll all be dead

🌷 (6)

◄ ST.ANDREW'S PARISH CHURCH

DISLOCATION ►

Comments

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raypool

Wed 15th Nov 2017 17:37

Thanks Ryan, appreciated.

HI Suki. I always miss my band curry as it clashes with poetry readings. I know how you feel though - traditionally cheesy aren't they.

Thanks Col. I'm going to make that "Christmas time" as I think that'll be neater. I'm not fond of dah de dah de dah metre as a rule so i'll leave it meandering a bit. Appreciate your thoughts ! As for C........s yes it was early but I've been brainwashed by the retailers and advertisers I suppose.

Thanks for the likes David and Desmond.

Ray

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Colin Hill

Tue 14th Nov 2017 08:16

I can't make the second verse work Ray - maybe the 'raise' and 'tipple' lines break the flow too much. But I do think there is an important message in the poem and one that could easily be expanded upon.

as per Suki, I have avoided Christmas work parties for many years but avoiding Christmas is not so easy. btw, isn't it too early to be mentioning Christmas in a poem?

all the best, Col.

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suki spangles

Tue 14th Nov 2017 01:23

Hi there Ray,

I always avoid the work Christmas party. Your second verse reminded me of all that..

Cheers,
Suki

Ryan

Mon 13th Nov 2017 23:02

I like it. Good work mate!

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