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Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:32

Yes its merits outweigh its negligible demerits.No felling of trees for firewood and little use of petrol that pollutes the environment are chief among its upsides.I think GERD is in line with the green -resilient economy.But all due care must be given to the environment I agree with you!

I used to read classic poems that de-familiarize language like
"I sit me down" I try also to use inversion for the sake of rhyming,in Amharic poem rhyming is a must. You see a sense of local touch is manifest in my poems. Inversion could also be used for emphasis and aesthetic effect. I think writing in a way I feel poems must be written has become my style.I have not read modern poems much hence I less appreciate them because I feel such poems could be better expressed in prose!
Thank you for the comment

Comment is about Distilling from the past making tomorrow bright (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:23

thank you so much for another wonderfully kind compliment Stu. I really appreciate how much you've encouraged me.

Sorry I am replying late, I somehow managed to miss this comment yesterday.

Cheers,

Paul

Comment is about Inevitabilities (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:16

I share your sentiments John. You've written a deeply touching poem here describing beautifully the connection humans can share with dogs. Lovely stuff.

Paul

Comment is about Drinking where the river bed is dry (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:11

Two very good poems David. I particularly like Heron Taking Flight.

Paul

Comment is about Two bird poems (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:05

Excellent Ray, quite a feat to say so much in so few words.
And deadly accurate. Lovely poem.

Paul

Comment is about CHURCH RIDDLE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:00

Sorry I've come late to this Stu.

This is beautiful, so powerful and so moving. A real belter.

Paul

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 13:55

Hi elP,

beautiful, sensuous words that speak to me of spring.

Paul

Comment is about cellular memory (blog)

Original item by nunya

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Stu Buck

Sat 4th Mar 2017 13:55

well thanks everyone, really glad you enjoyed it. have a great weekend!

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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John Garbutt

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:49

Thanks Graham! I'm only sharing some old material at the moment, but I'm hoping that being on here will motivate me to start writing properly again.

Comment is about A Three-chord Song (blog)

Original item by John Garbutt

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:42

Very clever stuff.
You've got the heron to a T.
We have three on our lake.
So graceful standing still. Awful in flight!
Well done on this.

Comment is about Two bird poems (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:34

This is almost like lyrical word association.
I ached reading it, we feel the pain of the ecstasy and the agony spilling.
Bloody good work Stu

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:26

Don't get me started!
First off, the poem is a pretty verse.
Without a doubt, in the intelligent world, more people are seeing religion for what it has always been. A form of control.
Suffer the children?

Comment is about CHURCH RIDDLE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:21

Often difficult to know if work on here is autobiographical or not. Whichever is the case, you have identified the crucial points that all of us consider, when confronted with grief.

Comment is about The end (blog)

Original item by Louis Audet

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:17

Quite frankly this is one of the best pieces that I have read here on WOL for a long time.
There are so many brilliant sentiments through this I don't want to pick one! This is the sort of work we all wish we were capable of. Great work!

Comment is about Drinking where the river bed is dry (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

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Dave Morgan

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:16

Lovely playing John and fit for any late night satire programme (you know the sort that doesn't exist any more).

Comment is about NOBODY WANTS YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN AND OUT (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:11

As below, a lovely piece. I think you could change betwixt or just remove it all together,
Stilled fields.......great words.

Comment is about cellular memory (blog)

Original item by nunya

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Dave Morgan

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:09

Who is this tortured genius? Thanks for the insightful comments Greg. I'm beginning to think there's more to me than meets the I. Julian, I understand that the great Bolton Institution THE Chinese Buffet, revealed its secrets on TV this week. Few surprises there from what I've read but they really should consult the experts. Enjoyed the Jeff Nuttall show; just the right tone of irreverence.

Comment is about Chuang Tse's Caterpillar: Dave Morgan, Flapjack (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:06

An interesting topic. Isn't it strange how we think we can save people who we perceive to need help. Not always true though. A great intro on WOL, well done.

Comment is about Homeless by the lovely Vienna (blog)

Original item by Marques Spraggs

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 09:56

Interesting thoughts RT.
Quite a hard read paragraph style, better in lines for emphasis. Good work.

Comment is about Beneath (blog)

Original item by R.T. Pait

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 09:53

You're in good company on here then John! Good to see you posting.

Comment is about A Three-chord Song (blog)

Original item by John Garbutt

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Emer Ni Chorra

Sat 4th Mar 2017 09:31

Initially it wasn't in inverted commas Juan. A quote I know by heart, because I've felt it, was also just added to this recently edited piece.

I feel very strongly about plagiarism, if I see plagiarism here again I will point it out. I certainly would not like somebody to steal my work and claim it as their own.

Thankfully, this is the first time I have witnessed plagiarism here and I am an active user since December 2015.

Comment is about You'll always be with me (blog)

Original item by Dana Lee

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 4th Mar 2017 07:42

ohnonotanotherRiddler! I was never very good at riddles.

But yesterday brought yet another scandal - that of the countless babes buried in an unmarked grave at a former Catholic orphanage in Ireland. Such sad history.

Comment is about CHURCH RIDDLE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 4th Mar 2017 07:37

ditto John's comments - blindingly good

Comment is about cellular memory (blog)

Original item by nunya

elPintor

Sat 4th Mar 2017 02:42

Much to think about here, John--our lives are so fragile. This relationship you frame with Charlie is priceless. They say that wolves came to seek human companionship for survival and in the process became dogs. But, they've become a model for friendship that is almost impossible to match within the "human herd".

Just a side note--I hope that humans lose this strange fetish they have with pedigrees. They breed such terrible debilitations into these animals through their ignorance.

elP

Comment is about Drinking where the river bed is dry (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

elPintor

Sat 4th Mar 2017 02:06

I once read that writing poetry in translation is like taking a shower with your clothes on...

elP

Comment is about সু সা, আপনাকে- (blog)

Original item by Nafees Sabur

elPintor

Sat 4th Mar 2017 01:55

You know, Ray, I was just having a personal rant about the hypocrisy of religion before I read this. It seems that if you search it out, you could find a new story every single day of your natural born life about the crimes of an institution that claims to be so gd more righteous than the rest of us. I, myself, have had a belly full of it.

I like it short and sweet, Ray--just like you put it, here.

elP

Comment is about CHURCH RIDDLE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

elPintor

Sat 4th Mar 2017 01:30

I particularly like the economic use of words in part two--very reminiscent of a forensics investigation and report. And, I really like it's contrast with part one..clearly a change in tone and style.

Truly extraordinary construction all the way 'round, to me.

elP

ps
there's a scene in the movie 'Sully' where the main character (Sully, the pilot) is sitting in a bar and is approached by two patrons who tell him that they've recently named a cocktail after his harrowing experience--"grey goose with a splash of water"...I don't believe Sully found it funny at all.

Comment is about Two bird poems (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

elPintor

Sat 4th Mar 2017 01:14

I can't put it any better than Ray and Colin. There are tones of eroticism that are both under spoken and unmistakable, as in many pieces of yours--it always seems so natural, unextracted and undressed of modern culture.

Really quite beautiful, like emotions you can see.

elP

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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ken eaton-dykes

Sat 4th Mar 2017 00:49

Harry. You're in depth explanation that describes this lovely piece is far too enigmatic for a numpty such as me. The beauty's superficial without digging all that deep

Comment is about Carol (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Nicola Beckett

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 23:28

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 23:04

Dana,
I shed tears reading this and they weren't crocodile tears either. I feel like this poem made me appreciate live so much more. Thank you for sharing this masterpiece with us.
I loved every single word in every single line in every single paragraph.
.------------------
Emer Ni Chorra,
I think that since Dana made it known that it was a quote it wasn't really necessary for her to credit the author since we could google the quote. However, I am grateful that you made it so that we don't have to google it anymore.

Comment is about You'll always be with me (blog)

Original item by Dana Lee

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raypool

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:40

Nobody does this full - bloodied poetry like you Stu. You are the master - It feels as if it has just flowed through you - the best kind of mindplay. It feels as if there is no separation between mind and body and spirit - just a great waterfall of feeling. With no punctuation it works so well.
Excellent stuff.

Ray

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:21

I'm intrigued that you've billed (sry!) this as two separate poems David. I think I would be inclined to scrap all three titles and find something that links the two together and present it as one - maybe with a little dash between stanzas to show they are individual yet connected. Presented in this way would definitely tick all the black boxes for me. Regardless, I very much enjoyed. Colin.

Comment is about Two bird poems (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

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John Coopey

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:14

".. Then you're no end of an ass" (boom boom). Thanks, Colin.

Comment is about NOBODY WANTS YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN AND OUT (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:11

brilliant paul. i couldnt work out where it was going, was it 'misery' or something more touching. i'd have been happy either way but the ending was sweet, touching and superbly written.

Comment is about Inevitabilities (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Stu Buck

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:10

lovely and dark, foreboding and excellently written. top marks from me, i read this several times.

Comment is about today (blog)

Original item by Cesca

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Stu Buck

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:08

thanks colin! this actually took longer than my usual pieces so i am glad i didnt lose any of the flow i had hoped to capture

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:07

beautifully lyrical and hypnotic - it feels like this just spilled out onto the page. Well impressed.

Comment is about like skin upon my bones (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Stu Buck

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:06

love the first piece, wonderful study of an incredible animal. nailed it.

Comment is about Two bird poems (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

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Paul Waring

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 18:08

Thanks Colin (again). Our next door neighbour had a Hillman Hunter for donkey's years, I think it ran on tobacco judging by how much it coughed and spluttered and wouldn't start each morning.

Thanks Graham, I'm feeling very left out now, having never driven a Hillman ? but I'm sure you're right.

Thanks Ray, what a truly wonderful and touching thing to say about this piece and my writing. I'm trying to stick to my 'ditch the ditties' campaign, hope it's working. And, yes, I was a passenger in a Husky in 1963!

Thanks to all you lovely, warm-hearted gents.

Paul

Comment is about Inevitabilities (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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raypool

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 16:43

Suki, thank you for liking that line - I should have added a few headstones just to set it off!

Ray

Comment is about ON THE OTHER SIDE OF READING (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 15:49

David,
I know this is a bit anti-cannine...But I`ve always loved owls, ever since I heard that one of the those giant
ones they display in town centres once swooped down on some woman`s darling Pekinese and carried it off.

Comment is about Top of the Tree (blog)

Original item by David Lindsay

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 15:36

Neat.

Comment is about Ambrose the Android (blog)

Original item by John Garbutt

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 15:35

Particularly like that first stanza David.

Comment is about Two bird poems (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 14:55

Thanks, Stu, Ken, and John for the comments.

Stu and Ken mention the quality of beauty (in this I was trying for the beauty of nature) but what I think is most needed in modern poetry is some kind of `terrible beauty`...by which I mean something like Shakespeare`s:

`A curse shall light upon the limbs of men
Domestic fury and fierce civil strife
Shall cumber all the parts of Italy
Blood and destruction shall be so in use
That women will but smile when they behold
Their infants quartered by the hand of war`

Or Yeats on the `terrible beauty` of martyrdom.

In a way I`d find it very hard to explain I think that something like a compressed determination (in both of it`s senses) expresses the the controlled beauty of both.

(just meandering between hospital visits)

Thanks again.

Comment is about Carol (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

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raypool

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 14:28

A vivid and satisfying train of events Paul beautifully expressed. To say you are in your stride would be an understatement. I well remember that winter. If I was nineteen you must have been too young to drive my man. Ah! perhaps you were a passenger.

Ray aythangyow.

Comment is about Inevitabilities (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 12:17

Thanks elPintor. I definitely have a lot of those dark spots during my day when I put down my work keys and wonder where I put them literally a minute after.
Your explanation is really appreciated.

Comment is about sideview (blog)

Original item by nunya

Travis Brow

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 12:09

Hello Neil, i was going to say you could eliminate a few of 'the stream(s), but as i think about it, it seems as though the phrase runs through the poem as a stream runs through the landscape.
I'm a stickler for line lengths and syllabic balance and so i'd suggest you work on a few of the lines to even them out, but that's an opinion so feel free to ignore it.
Perhaps you can start from the last line and strip it back further? Again, kick this into the long grass if you want...

Comment is about The Stream (blog)

Original item by Neil Robertson

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 11:28

I think Hillman Imp (my first car) engines all found their way into racing motorcycle sidecars.

Comment is about Inevitabilities (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Julian (Admin)

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 10:55

A great review of a great book by my great friend (interest declared), former colleague and continual inspiration: Dave Morgan.

Comment is about Chuang Tse's Caterpillar: Dave Morgan, Flapjack (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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