Thank you Stu, unbelivably generous praise. Reading it made the endless re-writes of this worthwhile. I found it so difficult to write this piece. And thanks for the tips, I've removed the 'and' from the penultimate line and will give serious thought to what you say about the first line.

Col, thanks again for your forensic eyes that notice so many things, including the 'and' I decided to remove from the beginning of the penultimate sentence. Stu was right.
And you are right about the slight predictability of some of the lines. And like I said to Stu, I found this incredibly difficult to write. It is my parting tribute to Lisbon and I wanted to include key elements of what I feel is the 'essence' of the place.

Thanks again chaps for the honest (and very helpful) feedback.

Paul

Comment is about The Taste Of Lisbon (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

do you have any poetry to share by any chance?

Comment is about Bill Mckechnie 2009 (photo)

Intense, sensuous and beautiful Stu. It gets better the more I read it. And that line:

"if you must collapse do so as if it is an age that is ending"

Such a rich and fertile imagination you possess, sir.

Great work.

Paul

Comment is about umeboshi/autumn (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Yay for the wagtail. There is much to be admired here Paul especially those first 7 lines. I think however you possibly let yourself down a little with slightly predictable / unimaginative descriptions in the following 3 lines:
shards of light reflect like glass
intricate mosaics
ornate squares
but it's a minor point and maybe I'm being too picky.

out of curiosity, which 'and' is/was Stu referring to?

good stuff Paul and a welcome return from 'daft ditty' land.

Col

Comment is about The Taste Of Lisbon (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

There is so much in this poem,in the way it's structured along with its unusual rhythm. I love before the pool of social media. Nice one. Well deserved POTW.

Comment is about 'Echo and Narcissus' by Karen Izod is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

The first four lines (esp. the first two) of the final verse wrapped the whole piece up nice and tight, for me--whatever passes in between the now and the end is all tied up neatly right there. It's really a profound statement.

elP

Comment is about The Caressing Hand (blog)

Original item by Adam Whitworth

Thank you very much for sharing my photos on your site.

If you would like any others please take from my website

Kind Regards

William Mckechnie

http://wild-bill-entertainer7.webnode.com/

Comment is about Bill Mckechnie 2009 (photo)

I think he is, Harry; and I don't think he ever stood a chance. It's one thing having 3/4/500,000 activists eulogising you, it's quite another persuading 12 million voters. The comical thing for me is that his supporters blame everything and everyone for Copeland including "Blame it on the Boogie". Labour has elevated Denial into policy.
He has one eternal political friend in this. "Events, dear boy, events" as Harold Macmillan answered when asked what he feared most.

Comment is about WE'RE ALL GOING TO A LABOUR FUNERAL (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi Stu. It's lovely that you've stopped by and given this barminess you blessing. Just a twist on the casebook of S.H. actually, Elementary really.

I hope all's ok with you these days.

Ray

Comment is about THE FACEBOOK OF SHERLOCK HOLMES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hi, I will edit this at some point. Past and present tense's are a bit mixed.

Very tired now though.

x

Comment is about Gorecki Plays (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

John,
I understand the sentiment,but wonder if this Christian soul in a Marxist body is not capable of resurrection.

The problem of how to distribute the wealth being created
by fewer and fewer workers in the imminent technological age is going to need something of a socialist heave.

(As Hammond seemed to suggest at Davos, we may have seen nuthin` yet to what we will shortly see (And Trump is
an obvious voter response to the upcoming problem)

People are beginning to feel unease at the amount of easy
money and credit that is hanging about everywhere (can it really last?)...And the calculated comments about our chance (the industrialist`s chance) of really reducing the
rate of immigration are beginning to sound ominous for the UKIP crowd...(why - in spite of all these things - are we continuing to see `quantitive` full employment)? And how will the worker productivity of the future effect the economy? (ours - on the very brink of a possible Brexit - and despite immigration is parlous at the moment)

Once they get the intelligent-sounding speil coming through (Oh! for another Blair!) then life will come back into the old limbs again.

The problem - of course - is...Is Corby really deader than dead?

Keep rhymin` them John!

Comment is about WE'RE ALL GOING TO A LABOUR FUNERAL (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

lovely little piece. you have a way with brevity that i admire greatly. as someone who simply throws things at the great poetical wall until enough sticks i find it daunting and intelligent.

Comment is about pro choice (blog)

Original item by nunya

lovely stuff ray. amusing and clever, a thoughtful tribute to he of baker street.

Comment is about THE FACEBOOK OF SHERLOCK HOLMES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

wonderful. bloody wonderful. so much fancy wordsmithery and vivid, sensual language.

i wished and hoped that that first line would read simply

'on sardined sea-brine air I taste Lisbon'

as that would be achingly fantastic but i cant criticize any of it, its bloody great.

'a millefeuille of sea-facing structures hides

the graffiti of grief behind blue-tiled facades.'


clever bugger.

could you remove the 'and' from the penultimate line?

but really, i only ever critique those pieces i love dearly and would be proud to call my own!

'and my lips

are kissed by fruits of the sea.'

sensuous. takes me back to st malo, the salty coast, cheap seafood and fish soup with sand at the bottom of the bowl, dazzling blue seas and white yachts, cheap
wine and headaches on the drive home.

superb.

Comment is about The Taste Of Lisbon (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I enjoyed hearing Karen read this poem at Write Out Loud Woking a week ago, and I'm very glad that she has posted it. I admire its elegance, insight, and humour.

Comment is about 'Echo and Narcissus' by Karen Izod is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Many thanks for reading this Cynthia - if one person likes a poem that is like a buzz of electricity across two electrodes; in this case yours and mine! I hope you're well. x

Ray

Comment is about THE FACEBOOK OF SHERLOCK HOLMES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hey there... Never get tired reading this piece! More writings Jeff xx...

Comment is about 'Going, Going, Gone' by Jeff is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

the Bronze which inspired this poem, is currently on display at Pallant House Gallery in Chichester, as part of their Classicism in British Art exhibition.

Comment is about Echo and Narcissus (blog)

Original item by karen izod

Loved this piece Raj...It reminded of Juvia from this anime called Fairy Tail. Juvia is a lady that controls water and she can work up quite a storm....Thanks for sharing.

Comment is about The swirling winds of change (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

This is really a well penned poem Nicola. I really enjoyed every line because it seemed to fall together in place like a puzzle being solved. Thanks for sharing.

Comment is about Eyes that Meet. (blog)

Original item by Nicola Byrnes

Hi David,

I'm actually glad that you felt comfortable enough to offer your advice on my poem. I'm very open to constructive criticism...I hope you feel free to post your advice on any of my past or future blogs as I consider myself an amateur. Also, I believe that even pros need to be helped pointing out cons.

Comment is about Shy (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNwiJyx1VAY

Comment is about pro choice (blog)

Original item by nunya

I probably shouldn't laugh, David, but I did. Maybe anyone who does such a good job at hiding their light also secretly harbors the hope that it will eventually make it's way to burning someone else for a change--that's probably where holding on to the anger may eventually serve a purpose.

elP

Comment is about pro choice (blog)

Original item by nunya

You know, you're right, Ray..and thank goodness for that moment. The older I get the more I realize I don't really need to look to others to validate my emotions. Simply put, it's more liberating to "own" them rather than letting them "own" me by dictating how I interact with the world...I'll save my more raw, unmodulated behavior for those "just for me" moments.

Thanks for reading and commenting, Ray and John, and I'm glad you liked it David.

elP

Comment is about pro choice (blog)

Original item by nunya

Deeply passionate poem ...

Comment is about crave (blog)

Original item by Maxine

Thank you for the welcome and comment on "good morning" Cynthia. I've been looking around, and enjoying reading.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks David. I've just googled the meaning of assive and, how bizarre, it could describe Mr Bumfrantic in my last poem - you learn something every day!

I've promised myself to stop writing and posting any more daft ditties like this but you are very kind to describe it as interesting.

Always good to hear from you David.

Paul

Comment is about Assive Smoking (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Suki, thank you so much for commenting on "write, edit, re-write, write, edit, re-write". I've just noticed it. You are obviously a fellow sufferer! All I can say is, thank heavens for those (all-too-rare) moments when it all fits together, flows and says what we wanted to say!

Thanks again Suki, and best wishes with your writing.

Paul

Comment is about Suki Spangles (poet profile)

Original item by Suki Spangles

Thanks everyone for commenting on this nutty poem that I couldn't resist writing and posting. This man lived nearby to me in the late 80's. Believe it or not, there was also a lady around the corner who had no less than 8-10 cats, who used to trot past my window in a line just before 5.30 every night to meet her (I can't explain why) coming home from work. We called her Pussy Galore. ?. Gospel truth.

Paul

Comment is about Mr. Bumfrantic (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

An excellent poem, exploring areas of the heart and mind that intertwine reality and imagination, until parameters are very shaky. As they truly are. Sensitively and beautifully written.

Comment is about Unknowing (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Welcome to WOL, Maxine. You'll enjoy this site. People here are hugely diverse, but really supportive. Do join in the commentaries too. Everyone's input is appreciated.

Comment is about Maxine (poet profile)

Original item by Maxine

An easy poem full of warm details, with a delightful message.

Comment is about good morning (blog)

Original item by Maxine

Delightful. A great portrait done with style and sympathy.

Comment is about Mr. Bumfrantic (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

In fact - you will not.

As usual, a huge point in a net of fine words that ensnare, or do not ensnare.

Comment is about Dreams may not (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

Haikus are splendid when well observed and well constructed. Your love of the form is clear and a pleasure to read.

Comment is about Melissa Gentile (poet profile)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

Much appreciated, and enjoyed.

Comment is about A Black Empress's Legacy (Taytu Betul ) (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Very good. Much enjoyed.

Comment is about THE FACEBOOK OF SHERLOCK HOLMES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Better things to do with my time than worry about the one eyed corner dweller and the shit that's on it.

Comment is about 'It's depressing': Luke Wright's 'old-fashioned rant' about spoken word on TV ads (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

The antics of Mr Bumfrantic. It gives a nice comic image in an otherwise serious setting. I remember two brothers on the streets who would wear green tweed suits - always together and sporting large warts and BO. They would invariably walk side by side and break into a slow jog intermittently. Needless to say, we moved from the area.

Ray

Comment is about Mr. Bumfrantic (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I'll just add another thought to this stimulating short poem elP, which is that often there is a moment when you might feel that to let vent to pure emotion will never have a happy ending, and you keep that in. Which is I think why we are all fascinated by actors in their expressing our own feelings. We obviously have to contain a lot of pressure, otherwise we would be like headless chickens. (Shades of Trump, sorry).

Ray

Comment is about pro choice (blog)

Original item by nunya

Chaktari,
She was doing this outside my ward window as I was `enjoying` an unexpected couple of days stay.

But it was all a lot of - not hot - but cold air.

(she didn`t `get` me...at least not this time ?)

(well celebrated)

Comment is about The swirling winds of change (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Yes, MC. That Cliff stole this off me!

Comment is about WE'RE ALL GOING TO A LABOUR FUNERAL (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Sorry to get back late to this; but thank you for some stimulating comments. Such a short poem too, but obviously there are layers of history compacted here.
elP, i'm glad this gave cause for thought . All a bit sad for me as it is so final.

David, an amazing twist of fate this Abwehr connection. Thanks for expressing it and adding to the story.

Paul, I had this image of the chair as I do furniture restoring and it seems a rather macabre item to keep for inspection and I do feel quite fond of furniture.

Mark, you really know your stuff here. I did read the book when a teenager in the Great Pan edition (a prized possession at the time). So much heroism and risk for a cause. I suppose wars do bring out the best(and the worst) in people so called. Thanks for the trouble.

A satisfying response thanks all!

Ray

Comment is about THE DEATH OF JOSEF JAKOBS 1941 (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I'm back with Cliff and his big red bus - happy days!
Personally, I'm inclined to use "We are the Ovalteenies"
to sum up the bizarre situation in Stoke.

Comment is about WE'RE ALL GOING TO A LABOUR FUNERAL (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Pauline, have you put in on the Gig Guide too?

Comment is about SATELLITE OF LOVE (blog)

Original item by pauline sewards

the origins of twerking?

Comment is about Mr. Bumfrantic (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hi Melissa,

#2 particularly has a Naruda-like feel, especially ~ soft rain licks at their wounds..

Suki

Comment is about haiku (blog)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

Hi David,
thanks for the advice. I think I added the s due to the way I talk. Where I am from we don't use standard English for everyday speech but rather an English dialect that incorporates tons of grammatical errors as a norm.

Also, thanks to both of you, David and elPintor. I struggled a lot with myself penning this because I really wanted to make it a tad longer. I'm glad my final decision to leave it as it is was appreciated.

Juan

Comment is about Shy (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

REVIEW: LOTS OF LAUGHTER & MUSIC AT FEBRUARY WRITE ANGLE WITH ROB BARRATT & OPEN MIC

February Write Angle had Rob Barratt, one of the funniest performers yet. His audience was with him from the moment he began. He invited them to join him in many of his poems and songs. Extremely clever, he presented a varied selection –non-stop, starting with Why 'I Don't Want to Swim With Dolphins'. '...they might give me dolphin fever. They probably don't want to swim with me either. Dolphins smell of fish. Swimming with them is my death wish…'

Stewart Taylor, open miker and pro, called him 'atrociously good'. His unique style of twisting words left one not knowing what comes next except it's bound to get laughter! Rob produced news items about the 'have and have nots'. 'The Queen, 90, has a cold and will miss ... ; Samia Chomley, 94, has a cold and'...down the list to: 'The Queen will be flown to Sandringham in a private helicoptor, Ms Chomley by private nuclear submarine, then by Red Arrow, (got laughs) alien spaceship…'

'Dedicated to the suffering of teachers, 'The God of Data', a lesson from The Book on Dataonomy', in biblical form – 'They know not what they mean..and I shall create a new world of education and it shall be created in five days like what there are in a week...it ended with 'amen and awomen'! 'Distressed', brought his furniture to life. 'His painted window frame's been stripped...the cupboard hates the plates that have no mates. The rocking chair will never sleep because the magazine rack has big issues...the shelves themselves lack shelf respect...the dressing table's dressed to kill...the blind's kept in the dark..the curtains are hanging. They need to pull themselves together…'

As part of an Australian gig, as Lady Guinevere seeking a man, he pointed at the audience, calling out, 'I need a lad', 'I need a man..a young man. At least, that's the plan...I need a Knight'…. Again, much laughter. A poem about The Turner Gallery without a single Turner painting, got the response, 'It's a concept, darling...this is modern art.' So Rob created his own show which turned him into 'the next conman'! He ranted about 'Scottish Weather, 17 in Aberdeen. Then, with 2-4% Neanderthal in us, there should be a Neanderthal Independence Party (NIP) as they feel threatened by Homo-Sapiens. 'We must club together and not cave in..'

His 'Missing Letter' poem about the various supermarkets losing their first letter as well as any items and all personnel, was absolute magic! eg. (Coop) Oop sold icken breasts, ucumbers, and heckouts...aitrose sold eetabix. Ainsbury, ausages, trawberry jams, nickers..We were pleased to have Rob as a guest and we hope he'll come back. Meantime, contact him and buy his CD or books.

Meantime, our Open Mic started with Jake's clever 'We know where you go to, our Donald', a poem/song (based on Peter Sarstedt's Where do you go to, my lovely) of Trump's presidential days; living in his tasteless tower built by immigrants...selling goods not from the US….Mexican bans - backed by the Bible belt and rednecks..but at night you tweet your thoughts, don't you, Donald'. Colin Eveleigh's poem, 'Mice in a Bottle' of an evil man emptying bottles with two mice, into a pool. 'I didn't save them. Was I man or mouse?' Then, 'The Mug Tree' about a workman's mug caught up in a tree for many years, growing with the tree, becoming stronger, happier as it sees the sun and sky, 'I wonder if just before the bough breaks, there might be a cracked porcelain moment of perfect silence, perfect peace....' . Good imagery!

Leah did a short play using 6 members of the audience. It turned out great fun and a good ice-breaker for the evening. Jilly Funnell played, 'El Paso', creating some haunting guitar music. Then, 'Hypnotherapy Blues', a poem about a break-up and seeing a therapist. The 'witch', when told about him, said 'nothing was your fault'. However, after two visits, it turned out she fancied him!(beware). Then, 'He was the Top', about 'her Michaelangelo'. ... hot and sunny, her shiny bargain mall, he was inscrutable...people who say 'it happens', just didn't know him. 'Stage Door Jilly' followed, cleverly done with all 'illys' and ending with 'It's the actors I adore', followed by a lilting melody, 'Yellow Bird'.

Stewart Taylor's 'Ikea', spoke of the crowds, pointless purchasing - not him! Short-cut to the cafeteria. 'The pre-teen staff guiding customers'...where? Not Stewart! 'I know where the toilets are' Then, 'Joined Up', about enlisting in 1915. 'Daddy, what did you do in the Great War'. Now everything's at peace. Smooth finished walls. A turn in history. He never signed up. The girl repeats the question all through the poem. She waits. He turns away. Very moving poem! A strong poet!

Richard Lancaster played a big bongo drum. 'it looks African, it's from Los Angeles. Not wood, but plastic. Bowl at the top. Long stem at the bottom. Beautiful instrument. Lots of tonal range, and Richard demonstrated. The desire to get up and dance was instant. Beautiful sound and beautifully played. A great instrument and an enthusiastic drummer!

Richard Hawtree did 'Independence' an experience he had in Cork, 'just the two of us, drinking in a neglected garden, cracked terrace - where the gardener had been off since Independence day'. Then 'April Leaps', a lilting poem where Spring will happen anyway and linger where the wind gets strongest, in the April air. All in all, a very eclectic and enjoyable evening – one of the best. Lots of laughs and warmth throughout!

One of the regulars won two free meals at 'Half Moon Pub', Sheet.

One of our very close friends came into an unexpected inheritance and decided to send us £100 as a donation to Write Angle! We are shocked, grateful and thank you wth all our hearts, Helen!

Next month, we're looking forward to Greg Harper, great guitarist and singer. Peace and environmental issues plus whatever new issues are at hand! Do come and join us.

Note: Philip Young announced the Petersfield Music Festival starting in March with Edward Thomas, remembered in a special concert. Please check your website for more information

Review is about WRITE ANGLE POETRY & MUSIC +OPEN MIC on 21 Feb 2017 (event)

He enjoys the halo effect of the dead.

Comment is about WE'RE ALL GOING TO A LABOUR FUNERAL (blog)

Original item by John Coopey