Thanks for your thoughts on Cradle, Tom.
I didn't know of LC's The Faith. I checked it out though and you're right - it is that poem. Apparently it's a traditional Quebec folk song. There is a lot of rhyme repetition which serves to reinforce the sense, but it isn't a villanelle.
I've had a pop at a couple of these, which I find a bit unsatisfying - something to do with the 3 line structure, I think. In fact I submitted one a couple of blogs back called "Wrong Road Roun'" - it's a bit ripe in language, though.
Anyway, once again, thanks for your thoughts.

Comment is about Tom Harding (poet profile)

Original item by Tom Harding

Absolutely great Tom! Lovely drawing too. I love the cat!(In the poem as well as the picture)xx

Comment is about Rites Of Spring (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

i like the theatrics of this. it reminds me of a leonard cohen song - possibly 'the faith' - which is a villanelle, i think? it has a similar hypnotic repetition to that form.

Comment is about Cradle - A Triolet (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

It is a very nice poem. As Elaine indicated, corpse-still better than corpse still. I think.
My favourite part
Asleep, a puzzle, as fragile as a snake skin

Worst part, by far
my nose red raw, sore.

You really don't need "sore".

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

This is a b*gger to do what with it only having 2 rhymes. But the repetition does seem to lend a certain juh nuh seh kwah.

Comment is about Cradle - A Triolet (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi there,
Thanks for reading and commenting on 'Almost' - always very much appreciated.
I was actually the eldest of two, and the only certainty about our finances was that there was absolutely no money for anything - hence the cupboard under the table was the house for the paper dolls I'd drawn myself.
Obviously the poem not quite working :)
Cx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks Dave, for reading and commenting on 'Almost' ... very much appreciated.
Cx

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

It's more than a social - it's a community, a caring one. It's your call though. x

Comment is about Kath Hewitt (poet profile)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

Isobel,

Thank you once again for reading and taking the time to comment.

RE tudor, it's a social event and i dont really do social ( ask steven kenny lol) but i appreciate the invite x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

hi Dave and thank you for reading x

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi
thanks again for reading and commenting x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi
thanks again for reading and commenting x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Elaine,

Thank you for reading and commenting on my childhood rainbow poem.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Very thought-provoking, Ray. I particularly liked the first verse: "visitors welcome within reason" with the play on the word reason - very good.

Comment is about Stuffed (blog)

this is great marianne, i am working on a sestina now as ive been inspired but bloody hell, not an easy one...ill post it whether i think it good or not, just to see what you think x

Comment is about Reading (Sestina) (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

This was a joy to read. Very evocative and wonderful to think that you got this lovely poem from memories brought back to you by a faulty old photo.

Comment is about Childhood Recollection (blog)

Original item by Anna Percy

i really like the ideas of husks and even corpse is right for me, endings and beginnings within one night, during sleep that all sounds good to me, its only the slithering snake bit...
i think its the dark imagery that makes the poem beautiful, so please dont edit it too much x

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

I do quite like "corpse-still" as the poem poses the question - where does one go when asleep: the body is left behind, as if dead. For me it wasn't so much the "snake skin" as the "slither". I'd suggest if anything you look at this word as that might be all that's needed. Still, whatever any of us take from your poem has got to be good - it's moved us all, one way or another. I liked it a lot.

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

I like this very much and the idea of picking random words is very appealing. Really inspiring stuff!

Comment is about Reading (Sestina) (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Like the referencing of Auden and his comments on free verse. A very fulfiling, complete and pleasing poem.

Comment is about LAUNDRY (blog)

Hi Geoffrey - thought this was a very nice cameo - unusual topic an ode to a shirt but it is that originality that makes it work for me

Comment is about LAUNDRY (blog)

Very true Dave and well put. Got writing about how holy and sacred connections between people can be, today. There is something deeper that can go on if we let it which is, the Greeks would say, agape.

Comment is about Emotion (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

You bring this picture to us beautifully with all the nostalgia that only old photos can - well done

Comment is about Childhood Recollection (blog)

Original item by Anna Percy

Liking your minimal phase very much, Ann. This is wonderful - it could be interpreted as what was written on the hand reveals the true heart. x

Comment is about like paper (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thanks for your comments on Obit. Your support on the night was much appreciated. Glad you think it stands up to be read over too. Quite a surprise really as it seemed almost throw-away when I wrote it and only picked it out to read when I was up there on the night. The grape spoke, not I!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Ray - I live in a house built in the former grounds of an asylum fortunately they kept the main Victorian building as a heritage refurb - your poem reminds us not only of our social history but the appalling treatment of inmates' echoes as in one flew over the cuckoo's nest - the fetid odour a vivid and haunting image of the past

In your last stanza you say 'A sign requests' instead of 'suggests' or 'indicates' which some might say is more accurate - always difficult with signs I know

Comment is about Stuffed (blog)

Dave, many thanks for your comment on Obit. Quite agree - I felt it was a bit throw-away but got some great compliments on it when I did it at the Tudor. Feel like I am tuning my ear into what works best in that forum but still a long way to go! :-)

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Many thanks for your comments on Obit. Honestly I take it as great praise from you, as I rate your work in performance poetry very highly. I definitely agree - some poetry just doesn't suit the Tudor nights setting at all. All poetry should be read out loud but you do have to choose your setting carefully & be aware of the audience. I feel like I am gradually tuning into what works for the different settings but it's quite an education!
And yeah, no sex! Case of no sex please, we're British!! Too cerebral, not earthy enough! xxx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks for your comment on Obit. Not based on anyone. Grew out of a writing group idea and the sense that most obits are about the great and the good, not ordinary folk. Love your haikus. XX

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I liked this a lot too!

Comment is about Childhood Recollection (blog)

Original item by Anna Percy

Enjoyed this a lot, captures a sense of place very well.
Cloud is most of the photo - seems an odd construction. Most of the photo is cloud?
I wondered about the bear brought to the top of the hill. A toy bear?
wind buffeted should maybe have a hyphen.
The hills, like a shaken sheet,

There's lots of nice lines, that was my favourite.

Comment is about Childhood Recollection (blog)

Original item by Anna Percy

There used to be a machine in York railway Museum that had a film of the Night Mail and allowed you to repeat and record your own words. Strictly for kids (but mine never got a look in.)

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks, K, for your thoughts on Breakfast of Champions. This is what poetry's about, I say!

Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)

Original item by Kealan Coady

That's a good point, horror movie moment! I shall definately change it from snake skin to chrysalis. I guess that bit is darker in imagery because I was thinking of the nightmare part of that night, I did think of removing the word 'corpse' from that line also, not sure that fits it either. Hmmm, thanks for the comments!

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

Thanks, Dave, for your thoughts on Night Mail. Yes the Auden original is a cracker, isn't it?
I note your suggestion that I should be in a museum. The kids think my clothes should already be there, so it would something of a reunion for them.

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

'your body eloquent as a choir corpse still your bones were singing'
'you are a hymn to sleep'

there is some gorgeous imagery in here. beautiful words...
the only spoil for me was the soul slithering in the brain and snake husks...i like the idea of sleep as a chrysalis and couples merging and changing together, but the word sliver just mad me think of her brain being eaten out and full of snakes like a bad horror movie was it intended to explain how the writer is feeling?...i mention it cos it spoilt the rest of the read as this image was so strong and had to read it again and miss it out
i do think its an awesome poem still x

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

Hi Laura.
The reason I am usually late commenting is I don't seem to get enough time to read this site. When I do I usually can't drag myself away so I sometimes go back to older stuff. There must be loads of good stuff I never see.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Beautiful poem.

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

I really enjoyed this. I think there is a place for you at York Railway Museum (in the nicest possible way). Some railway nostalgia there for me too.
I am a fan of Auden and you have captured the rhythm and rhyme of the original well.

Comment is about Night Mail (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks for comments on Burns Night.
Macleod and Macallan - both whiskies. Dave

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Thanks for comments on Burns Night. Those Jocks know how to have a good time. Are you a black belt in Origami?

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Isobel,
Thanks for comments on Burns Night. Missed out on the Tudor last month. Hope to make it next time.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

This is great. I know from experience that it isn't easy but you have made the words knit together so well.

Comment is about Reading (Sestina) (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Thanks for your very kind comment on Burns Night. Much appreciated.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

no better advice so beautifully worded-thanks-SW.x

Comment is about Stilled (blog)

Agree with Marianne-both you Ladies have similar and wonderful styles-thanks.SW.xx

Comment is about As you sleep (blog)

Original item by Rebecca Audra Smith

I love this, Janet!
It is so positive and meditative...
Reminds me of when I do yoga - breathe/just be...
And lavender calms, and smells so heavenly too : )

Comment is about Stilled (blog)

Macleod is a single malt whisky as is Macallan.
Thanks for comments everyone.

Comment is about Burns Night (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

Very disturbing Cath. No amount of poetry could ever effect catharsis, I think. For me, the only way of moving forward, would be to try to defy all odds - refuse to let anyone destroy the essetial me. No one who hasn't been through the same thing has the right to dish out advice though.
I would LOVE to see you at the Tudor one Thursday though. I'm sure you could rustle a baby sitter up for one night. You'd find a great welcoming crowd there - definitely the best in the North West!

Comment is about My childhood rainbow (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

thankyou for your kind comments.

Comment is about Neptune's Daughter (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels