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True Story

This is how messed up it was...

Last night, my husband woke up and was cuddling me, then touching me, then we both were wide awake in intimacy. It was beautiful. It always is.

Then after, the doubt creeped in.

Chris lied. Chris always lied. I would wake up in the middle of the night to him touching himself to pictures on the internet. Once I woke up and he was staring at pictures of a wom...

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abusedomestic abusedomestic violenceemotional abuseexesgaslightingIntimacyliarliesmind gamessex

Violet Violence

I loved you like I loved storms. I was fascinated by every strike of lightning and each gust of wind, the sheer power of it, the wind I mistook for passion and the ferocity I believed was simply something to pass with the movement of clouds.
Little did I know the damage caused to my being every second I caught myself standing in its wake.


I loved you far more than you deserved. I loved you a...

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domestic abuseDomestic violenceheartachenarcissistic abusepainpast hurtspousal abuseviolence

The GD Devil

I remember the fire in his eyes, burning red and hot like the devil's. Sometimes it was just a flicker, a blink, and a temporary fade when we were out in public. Other times it lit and caught and consumed his entire person and mine as well. I melted under the heat of those flames. It melted my strength, my dignity, everything I stood for. It made me feel weak. It burnt me, enough to carry those sa...

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abusedomestic abusedomestic argumentsdomestic violenceemotional abusenarcissistic abusepainphysical abusespousal abuse

Miscalculated

You calculated the acts
but miscalculated facts
with your flawed calculator,
set on manipulator.

Who will you deceive next?
Prepare to be her ex-
lover turned abuser-
pray for your accuser.

She knows your lustful ways
lurk in dark walls to play
games of the fetish kind
with other perverse minds.

Beauty slipped on your icy
hills of lies with spicy
sleds that you call a tongue,
...

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break upsdomestic abusenarcissismOvercoming BetrayalSemi-Personalseparation

the mask

powdered, light-tinted dust strokes the crevices of her porcelain face.

red liquid plasters the outside of her perfectly shaped lips.

black goo strikes the thick corners of her luscious eyelashes.

 

the girl staring back at her she does not recognize.

Perfect. Beautiful. Good. the voices in her head say.

A faint smile warms her face;

painted, covered, and disguised in the lies...

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beautydomestic abusehurtingpainsocietal impactssuicide

Pieces of Me

entry picture

My light shined upon

the dark hues of you-

the vastness hidden

in narcissism.

 

I coated the pain

with discarded paint,

bleeding through linens

of truth's art canvas.

 

Fragile yet edgy curves

dance into shapes that

identify me,

granting sanity.

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domestic abuselosing selfnarcissismpoetikaly anointedpoetrysanityself-identityself-love

My Abuse, Still My Fault - but Never My Fault

    You’d get so angry at me for no fuckin’ reason

So cold, baby, your heart is so freezing

    “I just want you to act like you love me, trust me, and put no one above me”

If I don’t answer nicely, you’d push me and shove me

You’d get in my face, acting tough, “Go ahead try and fight me -

Come on, fight me back, I wish you would try me,”

But why would I try you?

Because now I...

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abusecruz 2017domestic abusedomestic violencephysical abuse

Poetry is a Mediocre Diary


There is no good way to really start a poem
and by far
This is the third time I've tried to find a line to begin this
Which will never be the line that could best cooperate with myself
to get what I want. 

 

So I could start my push
into talking about several things
Like how literary poetry is so different in nature to slam poetry, and why I think
both are good
But one is fine art,...

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AbuseConnor LannesconsiderationDiarydomestic abuseThoughts

I cant run away from it

I won't run away from it
No matter how deep the shit
I swear that I'll never quit
I'll be here til the end of it

Skin that is bruising
Scars I'm not loosing 
A time in my life where all I've seen abusing
Whip me, break me, beat me until I'm oozing
I'll still get up
Its my life your not choosing.

I make the choice to stay and endure
I make the choice because she is so pure
I'll take the...

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afraiddomestic abusefamilyhurtlove

Growing Up

I am fifteen years old and I think I own the world.

I have a boyfriend and he loves me.

He yells at me but that is okay, he loves me.

He shoves me but that is okay, he loves me.

He slapps me but that is okay, he loves me.

He holds me down as I yell and scream because it hurts but that is okay, he loves me.

 

I am sixteen years old and I escaped my first abusive relationship.

...

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abusedomestic abusegrowinggrowing olderinternal struggleslam poetry

Tattoo

‘It’s my skin,’ she said,

But he still shook his head.

Did she not understand

The risk entailed? Once the

Fine pale surface was broken,

There was no going back.

The permanency of a foreign body

Worming its way beneath

Her flesh - this he could not 

Permit. For her own good.

 

Though he paid no heed

To the multicoloured rings

And patterns that each faded

Fr...

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domestic abusedomestic violencewomenwomens rights

Happy Valentine's Day

They can now breed blue roses, and breed blue violets too;

Horticultural references don’t quite fit the array of hues.

Yet they are not concerned with, perhaps never knew

Of the silent ones whose spouses leave them black and blue.

 

https://parliamentofowlsblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/14/happy-valentines-day/

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domestic abuseirony

Did you ever really love me?

entry picture

Did you ever really love me?

If you're told you're worthless so many times you start to believe it

I believed it

I am ashamed that I let it go on for so long

The snide remarks

The insults

The oppressive atmosphere

 

I couldn't go out on my own

Couldn't be trusted you said

I had never done anything to justify this

 

It's the small things that add up

We never h...

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domestic abuselove

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