My Abuse, Still My Fault - but Never My Fault

    You’d get so angry at me for no fuckin’ reason

So cold, baby, your heart is so freezing

    “I just want you to act like you love me, trust me, and put no one above me”

If I don’t answer nicely, you’d push me and shove me

You’d get in my face, acting tough, “Go ahead try and fight me -

Come on, fight me back, I wish you would try me,”

But why would I try you?

Because now I’m scared,

Scared of you and the things you might do

You’d stand there and say that mark wasn’t from you

”Well I didn’t hit you, so you’re fine, it’s only a bruise.” 

Or just a couple

Then they double

Please help! I’m in trouble

    But there’s no help in the end

”Baby, there’s no need for a friend -

And I’ll break that phone if you try and hit send.”

So happiness I have to pretend 

If only I had just one friend...

    I don’t try and fight back anymore

His tactic is to say it’s my fault, I’m the reason

Help me Lord, Father God, “Babe, it’s only teasin.”

    It’s because of the way I talk to him

Or the way I would “mock him”

So he pushes me around

And if I dare make a sound,

He’d really hit me like a man

And I fall to the ground

Was this always his plan?

    What about the times I do nothing

Oh no, it’s always something

I made him hate his life,

He acts like HE got stabbed in the back 

    “If I make you hate life so much,

Why the fuck do you stay?

I literally beg you to leave,

But you won’t leave me or get away...

If you hate life so much with me,

Why can’t you get your hands off of me and just leave?

Why do you blame it all on me? 

Do you understand that you are abusive?

You’re so mean, and intrusive

Not only physically hurting me

But you take your insecurities and use it on me

You call me names, 

My broken heart, I’m so hurt...

Now left on my body are the stains,

With your hands you had left the dirt

 

abusecruz 2017domestic abusedomestic violencephysical abuse

◄ Better and Not Bitter

Monsters in my Head, Not Under my Bed ►

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