You want me darker,

So you inflict the pain.

You want me darker, 

So my heart is where your arrow aims.

You want me darker, 

But a glimmer of innocence still remains. 

You want me darker,

But when I can’t love I am the one blamed. 

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I don’t want to be strong anymore,

I wish to be rid of this disease and for there to finally be a cure.

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Ostracised by society for my ancestors blood flowing in my veins,

Was once kings and queens but now stuck in postcolonial chains.

Our people in power are now corrupt playing the slave owners games,

As their puppeteer allows them small wealth as long as they keep us all tamed. 

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Why was I born?

My existence means little thus no one would mourn, 

Stuck in this caliginous realm where my soul is constantly forlorn. 

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My mind is saturated with sadness, 

Whilst my heart is flooded with pain. 

As my life force drowns in the world’s madness, 

My soul floats between the physical and the astral plane.

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As innocent blood smears across the now rubbled streets, 

Israel continue their massacre leaving children 6 feet deep. 

The unending air strikes light up the sky like exploding stars, 

And the ethnic cleansing continues to engender trauma and forge generational scars.  

This is by no means a conflict but the bestial oppression of the Palestinian nation, 

We ...

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Here is to another year of life,

Should I be buoyant and forget these years of strife?

See my demons are growing more mature,

As I silently suffer no closer to a cure. 

24 years of carrying this unbearable pain inside,

Yet today I'll show the world I'm happy and hide these tears I’ve cried. 

En fin, feliz cumpleaños para mí

I hope these messages from back home b...

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The story of a courageous hero who put a life that was in danger before his own,

We will never forget your pure heart, and act of bravery that was shown.

The nation saw how selfless you were, and your name will be forever known. 

God called you back too early and your parents just want their son home. 

But rest easy young king, and take your seat on heavens throne.

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A small ripple in the ocean of change,

From the tears that flooded the planet with our pain. 

As the world stood in unity for months to protest,

We anxiously waited today for the guilty verdict to mark progress. 

Though white supremacy still continues to plague us with sorrows, 

So we must fight on and seek justice for tomorrow.

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Give me a pen and I’m a beast 

I write the words that my soul secretes 

And let the thoughts buried deep in my mind release

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As I trip on my words, 

And stumble on my thoughts. 

I experience tingling sensations, 

Loss of balance and lack of coordination. 

It started when my immune system ruptured out of control, 

Which could have been linked to deficiency of cholecalciferol. 

It attacked my myelin sheath resulting multiple lesions,

Which led to life-long treatment as there is yet to be a c...

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Thoughts of failure,

Searching for some inner strength.

Spiralling, as emotions start feeling tense. 

(Why can’t anyone see she’s broken and needs someone to save her?)

As her skin grows paler,

State of mind fades frailer,

Followed by the random outburst of erratic “unexplainable” behaviour.

She never quite found her saviour; hope gone so she finally picked up t...

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She let anger consume her heart,

Rage and love was not far apart. 

All emotions kept bottled up inside,

So she didn’t open up or confide. 

Fury itself could not compete with her,

Madness just continued to stir. 

Wrath didn't say a word, 

But temper suddenly spurred. 

A darkness clouded her whole being, Realising her whole life had no meaning.

Praying one last t...

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To be positive is to be naïve, 
I may see the world negative, but it's better than the fake fairy tale you perceive.

I see the raw in the well done,
I see the pain in the fun, 
Through my pessimistic eyes I even see 
The wet rain and storm in the sun. 

This perspective avoids disappointment.
Viewing the world as troubled and not worth saving is my ointment.

It numbs the heartache as ...

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The master behind my own downfall,

A slave to my eerie thoughts.

Wondering if I can break free and stand tall. 

The side they never talk about in sports. 

The minds weathered to achieve anything, 

But fear clouds my judgement. 

Disappointment builds up and the storm starts readying, 

Now caught up in the cyclone of my own cynical thinking.

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She wanted one more chance like Biggie.

As she grew up with no role modelz like Cole. 

Because she knew she could like Nas,

Go and chase her dreams like Meek Mill. 

Whilst trying to lay low like Snoop,

She stresses over her 99 problems like Jigga.

Because she’s fed up with the b******t like Big L,

But knows things will be all good like Lil Kim.

Whilst praying for ...

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The epidemic of police brutality,

Which is killing black people and snatching them from this reality. 

Cowards in blue with the shoot first ask questions last mentality, 

The disgusting pigs stuck in a state of animality. 

It is no longer seen as an abnormality, 

For people of colour to have the highest rates of mortality.

Yet people scream “all lives matter” but where are A...

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The chains of colonialism is still choking my people secretly, 

It’s suffocating our resources because by law they can take it; as they own us legally. 

They bleed countries dry, slowly turning us against each other sneakily. 

Which induces corruption and poverty leaving us all to suffer unspeakably.

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Prologue: 

The footsteps of injustice enter, the casting for murderers all audition in blue, as they all prepare creative ways to kill blacks on cue. 

Act 13 scene 20 

A storm encroaches Louisville without warning, 

The young woman and her partner rest, with no idea death is calling. 

*puppets of white supremacy suddenly swarm in*

Forcible entering their home,...

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He was your sworn protector on earth,

Who took an oath to look after you since birth. 

Now your spirit guardian residing in heaven, 

The angel guiding you daily and sending ample blessings.

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Why was I brought into purgatory?

I took my life hoping death would be the final end to my story. 

When will the purification process begin? 

I’m tired of being punished for my previous life ruled by cardinal sins. 

I feel like I’ve been here for centuries,

Stuck in a sempiternal loop tormented by past melancholic memories.

Whilst the fire slowly purges my soul, 

I a...

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Heavy is the head that wears the crown, 

Mine carries the burden of anxiety which weighs it down. 

Often my thoughts flood irrepressibly as I try to remain sound, 

But my fears anchor deeply, and I start to feel myself drown.

The rivers of solicitude and unease conflux, 

Flowing downstream into the dam acting as my emotional crutch.

It can no longer regulate this pressu...

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From being alive to reduced to a few characters, 

A whole life condensed into a hashtag.

What is happening isn’t brutality but massacres,

By those who proudly serve the American flag. 

Colin Kaepernick took the knee for us, 

But George Floyd bear the weight of it.

He suffocated under 400 years of prejudices, 

But they’ll never understand. 

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The girl who iced her emotions. 

Her physical and mental being out of motion. 

The coldness within her grew, 

induced by solitude and failure.

Causing sadness to flow through her veins, thus only negativity remained. 

As her tears fell like snow, weathered by disappointment. 

Because everything she once cared for let her down, and people wonder why she carries...

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Got that Bob Marley “every little thing” playing in my head. 

Whilst thinking about all those whose belittled me, replaying what they said. 

My emotions wreaking havoc, and it’s starting to spread.

Infected with anxiety whilst living in this dread.

Feeling like the only cure is the liberation of being dead.

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A sense of belonging that’s foreign to me.

To be able to feel the warmth of love would bring a sense of glee,

But anyone I’ve grown close to seems to flee.

Left with the scars of abandonment creating emotional ripples. 

All whilst leaving my heart warped and feeling brittle.

Losing my faith in my dear Lord little by little. 

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Are you there?

I pray to you each and every night in despair, 

Yet they remain unanswered as if you do not care. 

I sink solely in my thoughts,

As heartache floods through my veins.

Suffocating and feeling distraught, 

Trapped and stuck in these emotional chains. 

My life has come to that of which only you can intervene.

My soul is no longer at peace (and you...

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The weight of my sorrows no man can lift,

The size of my heart which is starting to shift. 

The heights of anxiety make me manic,

The lengths that I would go to cure these panics. 

My emotions are at full capacity, 

Trying to decipher happiness’ anatomy.

As my soul harbours in a forlorn dimension,

Waiting for a celestial being's guided ascension.

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To lose yourself whilst everyone forges their own image of you,

Conforming to societies norms in order to see life through. 

Do you succumb and forget the part of yourself which you once true?

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A slave to my feelings,

Shackles trapping my mind.

Trying to break through and begin healing, 

But hit with the cruel reality of man-kind. 

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You leave me lost for words even when my thoughts aren’t pacing.

I just want you to call me mi amor, grab me, then have my heart racing. 

Though often I wonder, is it unrequited love that I am chasing? 

But I would risk it all for you —  even spend an eternity waiting.

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Elijah was walking back with iced tea he got from the store, 

But he “looked sketchy” so the police arrested him and threw him to the floor. 

They placed him in a carotid hold until he could not breathe anymore, 

Which led to his heart attack and he later died from all the suffering he endured.

So we played violins for him hoping he would play with us from heaven.  

Except it w...

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The rainbow that coloured the nations heart, 

The sole stroke triggering Black Lives Matter to start.

Forged to dismantle the despotic system,

By using peaceful protests forcing the government to listen. 

So they marched together to stand up against institutionalised hate,

Because at 17 years young it was too early to see heaven’s gates.

As he walked home with a bag of skitt...

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Her universe was split into a mass of struggles and compressed emotions within an sunken space. 

The collisions of depression and anxiety grew stronger forming dark energy made up of misery; it’s high density crushed happiness quicker than the speed of light.

There were once stars in her eyes, shone brighter than any quasars, but it burned away creating the black hole in her being, leaving n...

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Where the oppressed are kept under white supremacists systematic control,

And an 89-year old woman is set alight, whilst taking a daytime stroll. 

The hate crimes on the Asian community is rapidly rising in toll.

We must fight against xenophobia until this racist infrastructure folds.

 If only people were judged by their true likeness, painted by their souls.

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Another innocent black soul taken,

Hunted and slaughtered like a pig for bacon.

Many are still skeptical: “why black lives matter?

As if racial profiling isn’t more frequent for those blacker. 

Unarmed and running when he met his fate,

Denied the chance of the potential to be great. 

A mother now without her son because he was ripped from this world,

Ruminating on the goo...

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He lit mi corazón like wildfire, 

It ignited something within. 

I feel this burning desire, 

Whenever I’m with him. 

Loco con lujuria and now i’m addicted, 

Y yo amo the taste of his skin. 

But we are always restricted thus I’m conflicted, 

Is this actually a grave sin?

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She is fire,

Get close and she will melt your heart,

The light in your darkest hour 

But play with her and you'll get burnt.

She is earth,

Her roots rich with self-love and worth, 

The natural evolution females seek

But mess with her nature, 

And she'll bring forth her seismic wrath. 

She is air,

Free and not confined,

Moves like the wind and her path kno...

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My darkness reaches new heights, 

I let my demons loose and they begin to take flight.

Ascending -- the gravity of my sins engulfs me,

and I lose the part of myself which was once light. 

The corruption then starts blackening my soul, forcing it to give up its unavailing fight. 

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I was the ocean and he was the moon, 

Nature's opposites yet love would sprout soon.

As I push against his gravitational pull 

Though on my axis, my heart's orbit falls. 

Quite often I am his biggest challenge,

But as the ying to his yang he fixes this imbalance.

My spirit soul mate who facilitates my flow, 

Through the high and low tides our love for one another shows.

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My pain screams at the top of its lungs, 

Remembering all the: “if you need me(s)” now with silent tongues. 

Demons storm in and begin to cloud my heart, 

The spell of darkness showers and leaves its unsolicited mark.

My mouth stays still as I’m left without words,

Yet my mind fills with suicidal thoughts flooding in herds.

I wonder how it was to live my past life?

I hope...

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Her thoughts were wildly out of sync, 

As she had way too many to drink.

They danced together so he thought the lines were blurred, 

Even though the words she spoke were slurred. 

He felt they were antithetical to her actions, 

So he ignored it thinking of his own self satisfaction.

His desires then overtook what was left of his humanity, 

Now dead set on fulfilling his s...

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I let you all down

     🌹     I let myself down

Now it’s time to go

                      Time let my thoughts d 

                                                           r 

                                                             o 

                                                               w 

                                                                n 

   ...

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A warmth in her blossomed,

He made her smile from her heart. 

She was too scared to tell him,

So she played the friendship part. 

🌱

He stole her affection, like a thief in the night

Unknowingly planting the seed, but she forbid it to see the light. 

Though feelings had already begun to sprout from within,

Her exterior shell then cracked, it...

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My love is a two-edged weapon, wielded by insecurity and strikes with fear. 

Akin to Pandora’s pithos, it remained concealed; destruction would only come of openly sharing it to the outside world. 

My heart is shielded, once scarred by mistrust, now a lone vessel playing a broken melody looped: 

Thump...thump...thump.

Just as soldiers march through wet trenches in p...

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Dreams play hide-and-seek,

Thoughts trying to catch my sleep

Caught, but nightmares creep.

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