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Gus Jonsson

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 15:42

Thank you Isobel,
I shall remind you about my alpha male requirements when next we meet. Yes I miss Augusta and would very much like her to re-visit WOL... she really wasn't an echo of Male fantasy... she tried to be a proper girl ... she certainly not under the patio and I have no doubt she will apear from time to time...

Once again many thanks for your great comment as usual.

Gus xx

Comment is about A Darling August (blog)

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Isobel

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 15:24

I should have made some comment on the poetry I guess. I like all the internal rhyming - when the last word and the first word of the next rhyme, I always think it adds to the flow - and this definitely flows...

Comment is about A Darling August (blog)

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Isobel

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 15:19

Tee hee - glad you noticed...
Tell me I can't use a word and I just have to use it - now what does that say about me? xx

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Ray Miller

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 15:11

Rachel, not entirely sure what you're on about but I note it was half past one in the morning when you posted so I'm just nodding my head in agreement!

Isobel. Verses they are, verses, not stanzas. Stop being confrontational!

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Isobel

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 14:37

Good on ya Gus - every man should have a feminine side - it might improve him somewhat!

I must say though - Augusta's inner thoughts did often sound like the fantasy of a very Alpha Male... xx

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Isobel

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 14:31

Not wanting to labour the issue too much, but, the penny finally dropped for me in the shower this morning as to why that word has a dirty ring to it! Con means cunt in french and probably other latin languages also. You could call it a fatal combination!

Hope to see you at one of these arty things that are on over the next week. Louise is organising some workshop in Wigan museum on Thursday - you should try to get a babysitter!

Comment is about Kath Hewitt (poet profile)

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Michelle Marie Clarke-Campbell

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 13:53

"The stare of a stranger"... sometimes those who have known us all our lives have never really known us at all... This is moving/
Even a mirror can reflect a staring stranger... I really like this poem.

Comment is about reflections on home (blog)

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Michelle Marie Clarke-Campbell

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 13:40

Hey Tommy,
Don't know where it disappeared to honey... As long as you don't disappear; all is well!
x

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Dave Bradley

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 09:23

Thanks for comments Andy, Iz and Ray. To answer Iz's question, imo there are few activities more dangerous than just sitting and thinking in seclusion. People decide to adopt or give up their faith; they decide to begin or end relationships; they develop obsessions or creative rushes; they learn to pray; they become demoralised; they write life-changing letters or emails; they make resolutions and decisions - perhaps to undertake something more directly risky; they make plans; they think things through; they became captivated by a beautiful idea; they brood and lose perspective.......and so on. Get in there (shed? why a shed?) and shut the door and anything could happen

Comment is about A need (blog)

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barrie singleton

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 09:16

Thanks for approving comment on mine Dave. I can see, from reading you, that you enjoy language, and that keeps my attention.

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Isobel

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:57

Very confrontational Ray...
I like this one cos it made me think about the whole process of creating poetry.
I would agree with Rachel on the 'trickle down theory of beauty' - the idea of poetry being fermented and brewed is a great one. In fact I enjoyed the imagery in all of your stanzas...

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Julian (Admin)

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:47

I like it Cayn, especially the repeating line: it's time to take that walk - like a Johnny Cash song somehow. Though it is like the start of a longer poem. or is that just wishful thinking?

Comment is about Time to take that walk (blog)

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andy n

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:14

bit of a change in tone for you, cayn i felt there but it's always good as a writer to be able to change styles every now and then.. good one m8

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andy n

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:14

good stuff, dave - like the use of the really, really short lines in particular.. keep em coming, bud

Comment is about A need (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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andy n

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:12

interesting piece, martin.. i liked it but it felt maybe a stanza or two 2 long and also one or two of your beats in the stanzas sounded a little long maybe..

enjoyed it however.. keep em coming!

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andy n

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:11

close to a song in bits this i think and i found myself trying to work out what instruments would suit it also.

nice stuff! x

Comment is about Sighs of Miles (blog)

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Rachel Bond

Tue 3rd Aug 2010 01:24

wow...interesting. ill read again, read and learn!
first read I wasnt aware i could pull those amazing arrangements of words together but I really enjoyed that sensation, of an unusual gathering of scenes and images enticing the brain to make real the images grounded in a real earthy foundation. yet complex. like a natural 'golden rule' expression in nature. a hopeful message that the dull resonates a deeper shine xx

Comment is about Versus (blog)

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Bernadette Herbertson

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 23:51

Hi Ann its lovely to hear from you hope to chat soon. I have posted comment on your < little cardboard box > by the way you are lucky to have such a lovely surname. take care my friend lots of love ..Bernadette x x

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Bernadette Herbertson

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 23:47

Ann what a wonderful beautiful tribute poem for someone who was so obviously truly loved..hope to chat with you soon my friend lots of love ..Bernadette x x

Comment is about little cardboard box (blog)

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Bernadette Herbertson

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 23:40

Hi Lynn just read your latest comment on my profile . glad you are going to carry this new romance on < 17 1/2>. ive not read angels but am so keen to do so soon as i can and looking forward to reading stefs comments on it.love bernadette x x

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winston plowes

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 22:34

How odd Tommy, Belting piece all the same. Even better for revisiting just now. :-) Win

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kath hewitt

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 22:11

ha ha fanny!! penny dropped lolx

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Banksy

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 22:10

That's good - I wasn't even sure whether to post it at all. To me, if you never wrote another after Coromandel, you could call it quits there, as it's sheer perfection for me. XX B.

Comment is about clear blue skies (blog)

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Isobel

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:49

Ha ha - maybe my mind isn't quite so smutty. You have changed coniphany to coniphony - maybe without realising it - that little vowel accounts for a lot...

ps I see now that you have only done that on the comment you left me - not in your poem - the wonders of the english language eh? Pronunciation accounts for a lot and I concede that I must have a dirtier mind LOL x

Comment is about Kath Hewitt (poet profile)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:42

This is a post one-save one thank you to two Lubbly-jubbly Ladies what are dead nice commentators-but one of them is trying very poorly to do hanimal himpressions,of a catdog-think she best stick to writing lovely poetry! Thank you Lynn thank you Ann-Stef-xx(Benji-xx)(Gemma-xx)

Comment is about Barking mad(ly in love) (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:31

GOOOOOOOD EVENING!Benji,s Mammy-very pleased you like'Biding my time'hope new four legs is being a good boy-pat him on the nut for me-thanks Lynn see you later-lotsa&potsa love-Mr.Wilde-xx(B-xx)

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:14

Woof woof! Grr grr! Purr purr! zzzzzzzzzzzzzz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comment is about Barking mad(ly in love) (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:11

Lovely poem. One of your subtle ones, and one of my faves.

Comment is about clear blue skies (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:10

Oh you crude dude!

Comment is about Always i-Pads (blog)

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kath hewitt

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 21:07

Hi Isobel,
Thanks for your praise, i agree that porm is a little too close to porn to conjure much else from, but in my mind coniphony came to me as almost a silent cacaphony. Does that make sense? I can't seem to make it rude, even though i can be rather smutty! x

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Isobel

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 20:54

Good on ya Kath - I really admire you for taking the challenge and making such a good job of it. Ray is right about the porm word - I also find the coniphany one hard to get my mind around without tittering... I think I must have a really crude sense of humour!

Comment is about Workshop exercise of the month (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 19:53

What a beautiful city, Larisa, no wonder you are so proud of it. Thank you for sharing this with us, the virtual tours are really good. Looking forward to the poem xx

Comment is about MY BEAUTIFUL ODESSA (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Isobel

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 19:24

Mmmm - I like that last line - it throws everything open to interpretation. Is it dangerous because it separates the two of you - allows you to hide from problems rather than deal with them. Or is it dangerous because of what you get up to in your shed?

Comment is about A need (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Tommy Carroll

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 19:23

Hi Michelle I did respond to your post re my poem but it seems to have disappeared?!

Comment is about Michelle Marie (poet profile)

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 19:16

Oh, yes! I forgot to tell you. It will be the poem about the Odessites and....certainly about me, as far as I was born here in Odessa.

Comment is about MY BEAUTIFUL ODESSA (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Lynn Dye

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 19:15

Hi Bernadette, thanks for comments on "A Perfect 10", also thank you so much for lovely comments on 17&half +1day, if you like short stories in poem form, did you see my Angel poems, think the first was in May and the other 4 in June. Probably worth reading even if it's just for Stef's hilarious comments throughout! Yes, will have to do some more on this one too. Thanks again, Luv Lynn xx

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 19:11

It will be the poem about the history of the city, it will be the poem about the city today.

Comment is about MY BEAUTIFUL ODESSA (blog)

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 18:59

Hi, Lynn! Look at my Odessa!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

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Lynn Dye

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 18:55

Glad you cleared that one up, Stef!! Uh-if you get my meaning!!! Enjoyed this, now that's the way to wake up, cold wet nose in your ear, love it!! Lotsa luv, Lynn xxx

Comment is about Barking mad(ly in love) (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 18:54

Absolutely beautiful!! thank you for the link-I,m going for another walk round later again! I notice there was,nt one bit of litter anywhere-lovely place-thanks again Larisa-Stef-xx(M-xx)

Comment is about MY BEAUTIFUL ODESSA (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Dave Bradley

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 16:51

This is striking, Mike. I've always hated that phrase "killing time" - you really get behind it here.

Comment is about Two things. (blog)

Original item by mike watts

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Gus Jonsson

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 12:37

tOnce again you have demonstrated a genius for obsevation which you have utilised throughout this brilliant poem... wonderful

love it!

Helen comes with her social worker

who's all brief case and cold shoulder,

Great lines!

Gusxx

Comment is about Speedo Second Thoughts (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

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Gus Jonsson

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 12:26

Brilliant, caught all the moments ... great observational skills!

well done

Gusxx

Comment is about The Enlightenment 82 (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 11:54

this colour is meant to be doggy brown-not the other!

Comment is about Barking mad(ly in love) (blog)

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Ray Miller

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 09:39

Enjoyed this,Dave. You really mean shed don't you, rather than den? The insistent rhyming works well here. Maybe "refocusing" rather then focusing?

Comment is about A need (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Ray Miller

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 09:29

Thank you, Rachel."humorous yet edgy" that'll do me, that's pretty much the goal. I don't think there is a difference between a verse and a stanza, but stanza seems to have become the norm amongst a certain type....Etymologically a verse was a turn of the plough or furrow and stanza was a waiting chamber - hence line 3(I don't just throw these things together!)

Comment is about Versus (blog)

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Dave Bradley

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 09:18

Well done Barrie!

Comment is about JOURNEY'S END (blog)

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andy n

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 08:13

Hi Sophie;

I'm with Gus on this one.. I would leave it the length it is - looks good to me!

If you have a few extra stanzas in mind, I would consider using them as a start to another piece - could be a sequal????

Otherwise, i think there is a lot going on here.. be proud off yourself, chick.. top banana!! x

Comment is about Sky (blog)

Original item by Sophie Hall

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andy n

Mon 2nd Aug 2010 08:09

certainly one to make you think, Georgina. I think this would really work in a live environment too.

My favourite bit was:

There was a place where individuals were suspended

Left to float, feed themselves on thin air.'

Keep em coming!! x

Comment is about Now. (blog)

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Banksy

Sun 1st Aug 2010 23:27

- as long as the collars & cuffs match.... :)

Comment is about Always i-Pads (blog)

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