She's a star!

Ooh,int she a star?!

it gets said

over and over again

about someone who's

done

or said

something worthy of the accolade.

 

...but she really was (in my eyes)

 

rarely very angry

always willing to share her time

i'd climb onto her lap

held safe by her arm

and i'd visit woods, and cottages 

where my imaginary grandma lived

her home the gateway to fantastic adventures

 

i'd enjoy afternoon tea in her perfect garden

nodding off to the sound of crockery being cleared

the scent of delicate flowers drifting past my nostrils.

i'd know secret passwords 

which gained me entrance into exclusive clubs

held in perfectly kitted out potting sheds

with other,

similarly blessed children

and we'd root out smugglers hiding jewels in ancient lighthouses

 

always the shy one

she'd let dad speak first

nod in agreement with him

taking the back seat

and only scowled when he took the mickey 

about her weight

or her hair..(that 70's afro perm)

or the one time she thought of herself too highly

and in a moment of sheer madness

bought four pairs of shoes in one go 

 

are tha feelin alreet may? tha's geet four bloody pairs of shoes in one go!! 

 

her star shone brightest 

when they went out together

once a week

to the working men's club

for a few hours

she'd use her special comb to fluff up her hair 

and she'd rub lipstick into her cheeks

to create the illusion of cheekbones.

 

or, when she 

defiantly

on her deathbed

snapped back 

when told by hospital staff

 that it was soup or sandwiches for lunch yet again

oh boy!! she shouted,uncharacteristically

loud enough for heads to turn

 

she was positively vehement

when a couple of us brought her

iced bottles of water

thinking they'd be welcome

on a hot,stuffy ward

i've that much water!! she shrieked

anybody would think i was in the bloody desert!

silence

followed by laughter all round

 

her star never dimmed

in the unspeakable nursing home

where

despite all else

she'd manage a smile

despite alzheimer's robbing her

of the full essence of her being

 

i remember once

as a teenager

when dad was on a late shift at the pit

desperately trying

to tell her something i was struggling to come to terms with

and

tracing her way around the subject

as usual

she said something along the lines of

the world's a big melting pot john.

it takes all kinds.

 

in her own way

i think she knew what i was talking about

and was craftily

giving me her acceptance

to this day 

her star

to me 

remains

undimmed