Frances, we must have been writing and posting at the same time, so you won't have seen my comment just now. Yes, I really wanted to capture extreme sadness.

Many thanks for commenting Frances.

Paul

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

So sad...

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thanks Stu, pleased you liked it. I'm now glad I took a chance with the rotten teeth line!

And thanks too, Ray. Glad you liked the 4th verse in particular. I must have re-written that 20 times until it seemed right! The poem is not autobiographical, it's my take on the how dreadful the experience of loss/grief and depression can be. I just wanted to play around with the notion of being stuck and how, on some days, it can seem like time is standing still and there is just you and your thoughts/memories.

Oops, getting a bit deep now, aren't I? ?

Paul

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Nicely served on a bed of acceptance - I like the bathos implied in the Fuchsia offer.

Ray

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

This is the shadow that dogs us and sometimes reigns supreme. It needs letting into the light and vaporising!

A poem can help !

Ray

Comment is about operation black sight (blog)

Original item by nunya

I especially the fourth verse Paul - it reminds me of the rain on the lake in "Don't Look Now." Circles can be sad. Rather an unsettling poem for such as yourself.

Ray

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

good one this, i especially love 'the rotten teeth of the crowd'

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

this, for mercy's sake...I like it.

elP

Comment is about To ex-boyfriend (blog)

Original item by Honey

Really good one Tommy.
You say so much with so little. what poetry should say!

Good work

Comment is about Sin (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks MC

Nicely put.

Ken

Comment is about GREAT GRAND KIDS (blog)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

I like it too.
Lyrical and clever.

Comment is about only time (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Sensual whilst restrained... but very effective.
Well done.

Comment is about Sin (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Comment is about Gopika_n (poet profile)

Original item by Gopika_n

I'm so glad this was chosen, Simon. It really is a well-written piece of work--maybe showing how we attribute divine characteristics to those we admire. I liked it from the start.

elP

Comment is about 'Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus' by Simon Widdop is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

love Zima Junction. one of my fav pieces growing up

Comment is about 'Babi Yar' poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko dies aged 84 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

always enjoy doing this. My blog for this year is http://ghoststoryiv.blogspot.co.uk/

Comment is about Start today - prompts aplenty on the way during National Poetry Writing Month (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

If the rumours are true, MC, it would make a better story than anything JlC could write.

Comment is about "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hello Hazel, it was your comment on Kevin´s poem ´Sylvie´which drew my attention to your profile and some of your poetry. Your style is enticing and also enigmatic. I have enjoyed most, if not all, but particularly liked Í lived my life that way´and ´The End is Nigh´. Please write more. An aspiring fan. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about Hazel ettridge (poet profile)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Thank you Graham for a lovely compliment.

I think you, David and I, the 'tree fellas', agree that in reality a tree cannot fall silently. And if anyone doubts this they should ask TIM BURR ?

Oh, how we laughed......

Paul

Comment is about Felling Us (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I recall a poem by Betjeman about a lady and her admirer
in the nook of a cafe (the title eludes me) and these
lines do an excellent job of maintaining the theme of a
secret liaison that Betjeman himself would recognise and
enjoy.

Comment is about The Art of Cheating (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

Courtly! This could only come from a certain stage in
life when a hot attachment has cooled...but not extinguished. To borrow from the immortal W.S. Gilbert:
"Modified rapture".

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

I certainly agree with the essence expressed in this blog.
Many's the time I've found my mind busy conjuring up
stuff not remotely connected with the job in (literally)
hand.

Comment is about The Mind Released (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Or as I sometimes think: beady-eyed Old Mother Nature's
replacements - humanity's consumer obsolescence in
winsome and delightfully deceitful action!

Comment is about GREAT GRAND KIDS (blog)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

An absorbing literary analogy - the book of life itself.
All things age and in some - but not all - instances may
be preserved for consideration by future generations.

Comment is about This Book Is Bound In Leather And Writ In Blood (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

thanks for commenting on 'returning home' MC - you have picked up the mood and feel very well in your summary - and, indeed, the references within the lines - thanks for commenting
Ian

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

thanks for the kind comments on 'returning home' Ray - you have understood EXACTLY the meaning of this piece - thanks very much for taking the time to comment
Ian

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

A great allegory Paul in so many ways.

On the matter of do trees fall silently, I do not subscribe to the notion that they do. We know they don't because we can witness the falling and hear the associated noise. So they obviously make the same noise whether we're there to hear it or not. Whoever dreamed that up is bonkers surely?

more to the point "In space, no-one can hear you scream"

Good work!

Comment is about Felling Us (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thanks David and Hazel for your comments.

David, interesting perspectives, a tree does effectively fall in silence if no-one is around. The silence in this poem, of course, is the end/death of a relationship, characterised as a tree that is eventually felled by the one who is hell-bent on breaking up. And, how true, this 'falling in silence' could happen in what appear to us as perfect relationships.

Hazel, such lovely words, I really am grateful to you.

Thanks again to you both,

Paul

Comment is about Felling Us (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I always love your images. They bring me closer to the truth - peeling off the bark.

Comment is about Felling Us (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Your rhyming sequences in this piece are very effective Alexandra. One of your briefest offerings too, meaning every word is important and will be scrutinised.
It feels tightly written like a small parcel. I rather like it!

Comment is about He bleeds Autumn. (blog)

Original item by Alexandra K. Parapadakis

How could she Resist?

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

The woman has no idea of my devotion - I told her she'd inspired a poem - it's like a buried land mine - hope it doesn't blow my nuts off ?

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

I hope you don't mind, Rick, I've mentioned you on my blog: https://francesmacaulayforde.wordpress.com/2017/04/03/village-scene-lincolnshire-write-out-loud/
and added you to my Poetic People Pinterest Board: https://au.pinterest.com/FrancesMacForde/writing-poetic-people/?eq=poetic&etslf=7807

?

Comment is about Rick Gammon (poet profile)

Original item by Rick Gammon

From a small glimpse to the huge moment of death, effortlessly negotiated on a bus.
A devoted route, no chance of getting off, the inevitable loss of village and dad cannot be denied.
I still miss my dad after 34 years.
A deceptively clever poem. Thank you.

Comment is about "Village Scene, Lincolnshire" (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

G'day Rick, I loved your poem 'To Maria' today - and this one; 'Tea with Anushka'.
May I cheat and echo Cynthia's comments about value, structure, style etc. I couldn't have said it better.
The ability to make the reader feel you are speaking only to them, with a considered economy of words, placed just so... is a gift.
Now I need to read all of your poems posted on the blog...

Comment is about Rick Gammon (poet profile)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Lovely. I think there's a future for Maria and Rick, now you've both admitted in deed...

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

a really excellent choice this. very good imagery and style throughout. very much enjoyed repeat readings.

edit - tom waits and bukowski as well. a man of fine taste!

Comment is about 'Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus' by Simon Widdop is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

thanks all for your kind words

harry, i take your constructive criticism very seriously as i have always enjoyed your work and would say that, since i have been on here, you have been one of a handful of poets whose ideas and editing advice i really respect. i will look at this again with fresh eyes!

cynthia - i wish i had a more interesting, studious comment to give you but the truth is this tumbled out. the style is very much due to me simply reeling off the words in my head and them getting almost no edits between heart, brain and page. i was simply an onlooker to this womans terrible grief and any repetition, delays and formatting were simply how i spoke it to myself.

I am going to read this piece at Sale because I feel it will work well so I hope I can do it the justice I feel it deserves

Thanks again all, I dont think I have to tell you how much I appreciate all your words and thoughts.

Comment is about grief in b-flat (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

hi Keith, thanks for comment on Sylvie. I was in two minds about posting it, as it seemed unpolished.
I'm not doing it at my next open mic, but maybe the one after. I'd like to hear it myself, done by someone who can deliver it better than I can. i'm still a bit timid as yet, and I think it needs someone who is more confident.

cheers Kevin

Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)

Original item by keith jeffries

Just plain delightful, and heart-warming, with a build up of great poetic power. Much enjoyed.

Comment is about Everyone knew but me (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

It's quite a pithy little poem.

Comment is about Disillusion (blog)

Original item by MyDystopiA

Just plain delightful. And elegantly constructed.

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

This is so different, such a 'new' type of work.

Are you simply exploring literary types?

Or your own vast mind that wants to branch out into unexplored territory? You have such power, like a generator gone into overdrive. Or a mountain about to erupt.

Or the need to absorb, and perhaps expel, the griefs of the world that besiege us daily through our relentless communication channels?

Comment is about grief in b-flat (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

NOW THAT WAS DOPE!!! I have a fetish for well placed words and imagery and this poem has left me satisfied and wanting, all at the same time! Good job! Original expression and a new take on a fact of life. Hopeful and secure at the end. Wonderful! Well done!

Comment is about Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus (blog)

Original item by Simon Widdop

Kevin, Thank you. I live in Spain. The TV programme Benidorm is spot on. Keith

Comment is about Holiday Makers (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Puts me in mind of the song "me and Mrs. Jones"
A lovely piece of writing. It seems that, you think that you're cheating on the art itself and not just your partners.

Cheers Kevin

Comment is about The Art of Cheating (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

I must say Toby your poem gripped me. An honest catharsis beautifully expressed. There is a sequel to this lurking in the inner recesses if your mind. Perhaps?

Welcome to the WOL family.

Raj

Comment is about Bipolar (blog)

Original item by Toby Love

well observed. brits abroad, eh. we're a funny bunch.

kevin

Comment is about Holiday Makers (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

There definitely could be more added, I tried to come at this poem from one side, but bipolar disorder is multifaceted so I understand what you mean. Thank you for the comment

Comment is about Bipolar (blog)

Original item by Toby Love

Thanks Paul, happy motoring! On a serious note, I just wonder how many old crocs are running on too much medication , some to cancel out side effects . Lordy spare me..

Ray

Comment is about IN AT THE DEEP END (blog)

Original item by ray pool