I retreated back into myself 

Escaped behind the walls I put up 

Padlocks on the doors 

Stocked the armoury 

Locked the windows 

Fastened the exits with cable ties and rope 

Drew the shutters closed 

The curtains closed 

The blinds 

closed 

 

Do not allow the light in 

Do not allow the darkness out 

That is what I thought was best 

 

But I am slowly learning again 

How to return to the cosy home inside of this body 

Focusing on the blessings I have been granted 

Every step these legs are able to carry me 

Each embrace these arms allow me to hold 

 

Open the windows 

and let the sea air cleanse the sadness here 

Allow each crash of merciless waves to drown out each bad thing that coated this home 

I am mending these parts of myself 

with every piece of glass I clear from the floor 

 

Clean everything 

Mop the floors and change the bedding 

Stock the fridge and light a candle 

Pour every last heartbeat into preparation

I am coming home

Back to myself 

Where I once belonged 

but just forgot how to