- Days ago, when the darkness found a way to creep back

I must admit that guilt pours through my veins on days like today 

When inside of my head, all seems hopeless 

I may no longer be clinical 

But depression doesn't care that I was healing 

It doesn't seem to matter that for a few weeks I was doing better 

 

Despite the distractions I threw in its path 

Through the dark woods it still seems to drift 

Crawling through the garden I had hand-planted 

Its shadow tears the carnations out in its route 

Depression does not care that they were growing 

It simply plants weeds in return 

 

I am afraid to be numb again 

Where my physical body no longer recongises pain 

Even breathing, it is an exhausting task 

But depression does not care if I was living 

It simply tries to convince me that I ought not to be 

 

 

- Today, when I am feeling alive again 

The goodness of you is enough to cure me 

Your healing touch is full of so many similes 

Hands that sew the fraying edges of myself together 

Chiffon, silk, wool

Use it all like a patchwork quilt of this soul 

You are glue on the broken pieces of this vase 

Hold me close and tight until the pieces begin to stick 

And then you place a fresh bouquet inside 

You are stitches 

Permanent and present 

Your entrance into my life was difficult

It was not easy to believe that you wanted to be here

But this body does not reject you 

You hold me together each day still, even when I do not know I need it 

 

This patchwork quilt of a girl 

I will never be able to show you how thankful I truly am

But I pray that merely loving you is enough

Until I find a way