Poetry Blogs (2018, depression)
your toothy grin
is only cotton
trying to blow down this brick
house I have crafted
you were included in the blueprint
until I started changing
and now you're waiting for
an open door
Monday 23rd April 2018 8:33 pm
It’s almost as if you’ve been
you can take a breath
without feeling yourself
Cement is no longer
running through your veins
slowing every movement,
because now it is only gravel.
Your head is now
not filled with buzzing static,
the distant sound of
electric storm clouds.
You are finally se...
Monday 23rd April 2018 8:09 pm
The clover is blooming
Like blood in the hills
Hungry beauty of summer
Its early impatient pace
I have the thought
That these routines are breaking
That not so far from now I'll have
a different best time
Because this early sweet
Late lazy spring
Will have drastic changes
No borders between extremes
I want this forever yet that is insane
This forward movemen...
Friday 20th April 2018 9:56 pm
Whether it was going to an all boys' school,
Growing up in a religious subculture,
Having parents that didn't let you develop
Or provided no template for living
Say you are one of those guys that missed out
On intimacy in your teenage years
How do you ever recover?
Laying in bed lonely for all those nights.
Not even having dates with girls your age.
Sunday 15th April 2018 2:23 am
The flower grew within, the fumes were fornicated. Bastards grew on paper, spilt ink spread their legs to the core of chaos. Thus the evil brewed bombs. You don’t see a shadow in the dark docile day. Only when it burns you can see your damned skin and the fire. The shadow of a truth turning grey, sat beside by the yellow day!
Sunday 1st April 2018 6:29 pm
Thinking isn’t your game, anymore.
Wait for the next reflex to barge in.
Sunday 1st April 2018 6:21 pm
Piercing poles of what shattered in abruptness
Has a bit of touch to it.
Strange things with glasses, I tell you.
Sunday 1st April 2018 6:15 pm
Do you remember how we used to savour the pins and needles on our tongues?
Do you remember how we used to bite into bitterness?
lick the spit of life
I was turned on by brokenness
maybe it’s cliche
that I craved pain
swallowing broken bottles
it's lined my pockets
it's swollen my stomach
Do you remember when we saw ‘sad’ as just another crayon
to colour ourselves in w...
Sunday 1st April 2018 4:06 pm
Please tell me if
Please tell me now
Have I suffered enough
Have I fallen to the ground
It feels like I’m falling still
I’ve cried for help haven’t I
Was I not that loud
Do I even deserve the help
Guess I’ll just shut my mouth
I’m not okay
Please just tell me I’m not
It won’t be fine
Friday 30th March 2018 4:45 pm
Yellow branches drifting to the shore,
You hold true in the forwards direction,
Bending ever downwards to the depths of darkness.
Your voice is shallow and short,
The breaths meaningless to all but the other,
Mirrors reflecting the sun.
Shattered windows created imperfections in a perfect line,
The glimmering colors to present true beauty once again,
Wednesday 7th March 2018 6:30 am
All alone once again
Silence envelopes me
Might drive myself
My loneliness, it seems to
So I have to ask myself
”Is this really who I want to be?”
Want to free my mind,
and just put myself at ease...”
I’ve only lived in life,
Don’t know how to truly feel alive
Think I forgot how to breathe
Happiness? Ha, to me that’s a tease
Monday 5th March 2018 10:05 am
Don't call it a comeback
My depressions been here for years
I still smoke myself to sleep
And calm my anxiety with 3 or more beers
It's just goes to show
That I should stay in my lane
I stare at the bottom of an empty bottle
Just to focus on something other than pain
I knew it'd come back
I knew it was too good to be true
Depression isn't a state of mind
It's something that controls you
Friday 2nd March 2018 3:12 pm
Here I am again.
Lost in the same world of limbo that I always get trapped in,
Oceans of mystery below me,
Plants growing underneath me,
Stars shooting above me,
I have been stuck in this oblivion for what has seems like decades,
Ideas and thoughts looping around and around inside this tiny head of mine,
Nothing seems realistic anymore yet it does not feel like a fantasy eithe...
Tuesday 27th February 2018 6:32 am
Envision this You have lived in a buried dark pit your whole life
Or at least since you can remember
All you have ever known is the feeling of helplessness
There is no way out but up
Which you are not even sure there is a peak
You try to climb
But gravity swallows you whole
And spits you out at the bottom of your inferno
Screaming, even though you are unsure ...
Tuesday 27th February 2018 6:30 am
Fall on the way side in the afternoon.
I sob now besides the hollow tree,
Your darkened hair recedes into the heavy mist,
Your eyebrows sliver into scattered sunbeams.
Away from me.
Lost in the bitter goodnight,
Hollow in acknowledgment,
The dirt moist from the heavy rain before it.
The image of you flakes,
In my mind,
Saturday 24th February 2018 6:19 am
It's cold and confusing.
A bomb needing diffusing.
Strainging and stressful.
Though secretly blessful.
Her heart and soul are at war.
Depression growing like a sore.
A life filled of grief.
No hopes of relief.
Her heart cries out to God,
Her face and body, the facade.
Nobody sees the real me.
Feelings behind the walls you see.
Restrained by her own mind.
Tuesday 20th February 2018 10:34 pm
I'm afraid to have kids
What if they get my depression
Or fucking alcoholism?
What am I supposed to say to them?
Suck it up.
You'll soon find out,
Life just fucking sucks"
It's just not fair
To pass on an ongoing burden
To watch my kid suffer
Knowing that I can't relieve them
They're supposed to be protected
But I can't save them from themself
It just kill...
Friday 16th February 2018 5:22 pm
So sharp and so cunning
Is the pain that run through me,
Hideous yet so stunning.
I want to keep it here,
I want to feel it's cold aching
Blood spilling from me
My heart is still breaking
What if I want it to stop?
Please, leave me alone!
It'll be there. Waiting.
For me to decay down to bones.
Maybe that's what I wa...
Thursday 15th February 2018 9:55 pm
Blunt after blunt
Beer after beer
My attempts to drown the pain do nothing as
The joy in my life slips from my grasp
Shot after shot
Numb to my emotions and logic
I’ll double down on my agony
Burn bridges half built and cut poorly tied ties
All in the name of self-improvement
Something that never comes and never will
Why would I let myself grow
When I could continu...
Tuesday 6th February 2018 1:33 am
It’s one of those nights again
Can it really be one of those nights
If I feel like this most nights
Those nights become every night becomes how I'm forced to live my life
Temporary solutions are my saving grace
Smothering my emotions to save face
Two beers in, smile wide, i’m feeling fine
A few hits in, you’d never know I’m dead inside
The pilot light is out and things are ...
Tuesday 6th February 2018 1:30 am
magic tumbled from his lips as he spoke of love filled promises,
dreaming of the day he'd feel.
empty, he was, the hollowness of his eyes prominent.
he kept his apathy concealed under a veil,
making them believe he felt the opposite.
death, to him, seemed almost.. ideal.
Saturday 3rd February 2018 7:15 pm
Wednesday 24th January 2018 2:23 pm
new year, new me
new year, same old shit, same broken me.
the games they play will never change
the lies they tell will only grow in numbers
and every one
will erode at my happiness
and reduce what could have been mountains
down to only dirt.
i am broken
i used to be
i try to be
Monday 1st January 2018 6:57 pm
|last 30 days||last year|