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R’ Ava xx

I read somewhere that "your wings were ready but our hearts were not",

It got me day dreaming, searching a lot,

Was your time always destined to play this way,

The promise of a life time, cruel intention, never meant to stay?!


I've told myself over and over and again,

That today is a gift, earned hard in yesterday's pain,

We gave you life, the sweet bond built with your moth...

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Broken Wings

What light can be shone that blinds what you’ve lost?

What rush justifies value at such a great cost?

You sit still for so long smiling through distant dreams,

Can memories relived really cloak lives ripped apart at the seams?


Your kids feel the hurt raised in the care of another,

To my eyes you made choices - you failed as a mother,

Do you see it as different? What’s in you...

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Got to Talk

Scream lung deep into a brown paper bag,

Let the pain poor free to drain the bulls red rag,

I don’t hear where the devil lives for the rustling distorts,

I know you’re hurting but your hand is moving and I can’t see all the warts,


Until you choose - until you can,

Until your soul finds the strength to trust a man,

I will hear words only spoken in different tongue,

What yo...

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White Stick

Summer shower arrives quenching an unknown thirst,

Droplets of release freeing from the worst,

The stubborn blinds slowly drawn back wide,

No longer recognise why there was reason to hide,


Music hits harder, eyes squinted to the new sun,

Munitions of self harm loaded in a holstered gun,

Absent friends, "were they there all along?"

Chemical parole serving right from wrong,


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#depression #antidepressants #freedom #america #foantidepressant

The Black Big Top

The start is the end of a long sleepless night,

A new day's light is the bell, next round of the fight

"Today's going to be different", echoes a heavy pillowed head,

You've heard this lie before from the soapbox of your bed,


You know who you are, you've lived through each day,

The context of those comments?? "What did they say?!",

That really doesn't sound like the 'me' that...

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depressionmanic depression

Last Times...

Firsts stand strong, shouting out loud,

But lasts, lasts float by daily, whispering clouds,

We all remember a first step, a first kiss or that first special meet,

A last? A last tricks you - leaves things open, makes you think they're incomplete,


Then it f@#ks you over, stealing what thoughts you knew,

Leaves you scarred from an unrepentant debt fate destines forever due,


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Manchester to Me.

A new home to Grandparents, ‘immigrants’ from Eire
A sense of community and not “them from over there!”
Neighbours blurred into family, my Mum and my Dad,
Protective eyes everywhere, show the young good from bad,

Dirt, scuffs and laughs forge irreplaceable mates,
Arguments then make-ups with r’kid until late,
A house full at me mam’s for ‘community’ meals,
Irlam Rotary provided r’kids fir...

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ManchesterManchester Arena Bombing

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