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The Blatherwight
Hyyre n proave
pon sheed unjoad
in hoye ‘n hoyle-howls
befuddled word, o’blite absurd
he gurgled remott’d vowels
Lesp he ‘n shyy
for ryle deride
aggrinn aggurny byy
rillig speech, from creatured-eeb
flowed his otherworldly vibe
So jue a norn
to borrishly
this being spoke in tongue
but wopeth no apology
for such unbridled shrung
It siff ! ...
Thursday 27th June 2024 1:53 pm
Red stilettos on the bowling green
This is for my dear sister Carole, whom we lost on Monday. She was a member of a very traditional and, dare I say it, quite mysoginistic suburban tennis and bowling club. She played neither, but was by far the best actor in the amateur dramatics section, which sadly folded years ago. She was a brilliant and inspirational primary school teacher, who loved telling stories, especially in verse. She a...
Wednesday 20th December 2023 2:45 pm
The Tough Gig
The invitation came from an anonymous source
With a hint of menace in a note of force
A resolution has been passed
By our High Command
For festive entertainment we want your band
This is not optional, there’s no way out
We’re ready and waiting so don’t hang about
Be at the Village Hall on the Thirteenth of December
And prepare to deliver an event to remember
There’ll be...
Thursday 14th December 2023 9:32 am
Kidnap in Venice - Here comes the W.I.
On the Grand Canal in Venice
where bridges span and sigh
There’s a rising sense of menace
Here comes the W.I.
They’re oblivious to the sandbags
Stacked against an inundation
As they wield their leather handbags
And march in tight formation
At the head of them is Norah
The bravest and the best
The other girls adore her
In their phalanx, ten abreast
...
Saturday 21st October 2023 5:44 pm
A Kangaroo at the Barbecue
There’s a Kangaroo at the barbecue
She’s not supposed to be here
There’s a kangaroo at the barbecue
Snaffling snags and necking beer
She just hopped off with a chicken thigh
That thigh has never been so high
It was a bit of a shock, I’m not gonna lie
She’s a chargrill kleptomaniac
A high flying ‘roo with a view
Get Superman, call Brainiac
She’s bit off more than ...
Monday 16th October 2023 7:38 pm
A 'Brush' with Art !
A 'Brush' with Art !
I think I'll take up painting.
Could it really be that tough?
To swish a brush across the canvas
....spreading ‘oil-based stuff’.
Lots of people do it
and make money on the side.
But the trick to this is selling them
to folk (..... before you’ve died!)
Da Vinci and his ‘Masters’
could have flogged a few more ‘Greats’,
if ...
Monday 19th July 2021 6:36 pm
A ‘Snitch’, in Time !
My mother’s mother, Granny Brown
was ‘muchly-loved’ (once) in our town.
The care she gave; her happy ways.
She cheered us, in her ‘ember days’.
She liked to knit, but not to sell.
Such quality, (oh, you could tell!).
Each item, thoroughly bespoke
- for gifting to specific folk.
“Gran, that’s great !” I’d often shout.
“You knit them, then you han...
Tuesday 5th January 2021 10:13 am
Is "Statue"?
I met this gorgeous woman for some ‘afternoon-delight’.
When we ventured back to her place (well and truly ‘outta-sight’!).
We scurried up the stairs and very soon were ‘in flagrante’.
My clothes were off as she approached, in just her bra and panties.
We intertwined, to ‘moan and grind’, intent on pure ‘amour’
But soon were interrupted by the thumping of a door.
My lov...
Sunday 3rd January 2021 9:33 am
'Rhyme Crime'!
When, first I began on the ‘poetry’ scene,
my brain wasn’t ready. Let’s say “a bit ‘green’”?
A “bull-at-a-gate” (if you know what I mean)
and ended up racing - a little too keen !
There’s a challenging issue in having Verse, rhyme.
Writing ‘couplets’ that match, yet make sense every time.
Which, sometimes presents a ‘huge mountain to climb’
(if you seek to avoid the ‘mund...
Saturday 2nd January 2021 9:12 pm
Morning Writing
Morning Writing
I sit here by my window
And watch the birds out on the sill.
They are pecking at the seed
In the feeder, I just filled.
I sit here at my laptop
Trying hard to write a bit.
Words aren’t coming easy
As I slowly lose my wit.
I fix a pot of coffee
Then I drink a cup or two.
I sit and watch the birds some more
As I finish off my brew.
...Saturday 8th April 2017 5:18 am
I've Lost My Mind
Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!
I retraced my steps, back to front,
Checked my pockets... several times,
Looked around where I'd been outside,
And even rummaged through the garbage!
Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!
I've been everywhere thrice,
Even places I'm sure I never was,
And I've run out of places to search,
And, yet, it's nowhe...
Monday 30th March 2015 11:41 am
More whelks, Bishop?
One of my favourite opening sentences in all the world is the opening line to Anthony Burgess’ novel Earthly Powers:
“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.”
Being not very well read, I haven’t actually read the book but I am sure it is rather good as the first sentence is stunning and mad...
Thursday 27th February 2014 1:40 pm
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