a dog and a frog

who stood on a spoon

and went round the town

in their dressing gown

said the dog to the frog

oh lets spoon to the moon

so they jumped up and down

and the spoon left the ground

look look oh look at the moon

how truly exciting said the dog

spoon spoon we went on a spoon

would you believe it said the frog

to the moon to the moon

t...

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argh

the wooden pirate

with a real leg

‘pon his left shoulder

not a parrot but a peg

argh

his ship inverted

sailed ‘neath the wave

and in his treasure chest

was a craggy cave

argh

he roared with rum

empty barrels were full

his flag was white

black bones and skull

argh

the flag though ripped

caught on his hook

but not for a hand

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“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,

any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”

                                                             ex-wife said

she certainly SPELT it out!

he then went on to reCOUNT

“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”

and there was something oddly familiar about it all

when ex-husband and ...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam

2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)

3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...

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the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner

the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons

the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...

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The splash changed the course of the universe

as the fish startled in his round of the pond.

Why are you here? asked the fish.

I fell in, cried the rat, wearing water he donned.

Why did you fall in? again from the fish.

I just fell in, just fell in, that is all.

But why, you could have fallen several ways

but you fell in here so why into this pool?

I lost my balan...

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Foolhardy was I

And deceived by my eyes

Forgot all that glitters

Isn't gold;

Too late I realized

True beauty lies inside

My handsome prince

Turned out to be a toad!

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I'm really not fond of verbosity;

(Although the ex-hubby may not agree!)

Why use many words if you need a few?

A common expletive has only two!

Physicians use words we don't know;

Perhaps to soften the blow.

An attorney-at-law, we recuse:

He intends to mislead and confuse!

Politicians know not what they say;

But they're voted-in, anyway!

Him in the pulpit, I think I'l...

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(With apologies to Aesop!)

“Hurrah!" cried Tortoise, after the race;

“Now, who's the one, with egg on their face!"

Gloating and boasting; self-praising was he;

Failed to notice, a Lamborghini!

No time for life to, flash before his eyes;

Tortoise met with a speedy demise!

Hare hopped on by, with more swag than before:

“Tortoise won the battle, but I won the war!"

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A mother summoned her kids, all three:

“Now, listen to me -carefully;

Your cellular phones, will have to go!

THEY CAUSE CANCER, don't you know?

Numerous studies have recently shown,

RF waves come through a phone!

Now give them here, without delay;

You'll be thanking me for this, one day."

Silly kids, to get so upset!

She frowned, as she lit a cigarette.

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An unhappy marriage is like a bad tooth;

At first you ignore the obvious truth:

Something is wrong; it's causing you pain,

But you have no time to consult your brain.

So you take a pill -or have a drink or three,

Hoping to relieve your agony;

But the pain escalates until one day,

You realise it's not going away;

You're gripped with a feeling of horror and fear,

It can't ...

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Two apes having a head-to-head:

"It's friggin' absurd!" one of them said,

"Eight million species inhabit this earth,

Balancing nature and proving their worth;

But look at those creatures that are called 'man':

Ruining our planet as fast as they can;

They've polluted our air and poisoned the seas;

Their revolting habits cause death by disease!

Some of them perish with nothin...

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{To The Past} 

Here's to my 

past for the 

one's who 

thought they 

knew me well 

I can actually

say to you that 

you can kiss my

ass and please

go straight to 

hell for the 

last and final 

damn time

©Tina Glover All Rights Reserved/ One_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer 2017 but posting here on February 26,2018

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