Into the office 

someone's brought cake!

Don't they know

I'm a little snowflake!

I have no willpower 

Can't think for myself

Then in strolls this cocky

little cake elf!

Spreading obesity

Like covid 19

Don't they know cake

should never be seen! 

It's total carnage

There's cream round me gob

And, now, someone's brandishing 

a chocolate hob-...

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Love's remembrances can be painful

Lurking like snakes in your head

I find memories of our finest hour

Amid itchy reminders in our bed

The crumbs in my bed remind me of you

The way you brushed your hair for hours

How you sat on the duvet nibbling cinammon toast

Or sniffing posies of hothouse flowers

I still can't work out why you left me

The truth is I'm more t...

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carrots, apples spuds and fish
chocolate brownies, a porcelain dish
jeans and jumpers, pots and pans
stockings, bras and ornate fans
paintings of the lacal town
jackets, bags and a dressing gown
onsies that look like Donald duck
sweets to chew and sweets to suck
DVDs and home made jam
vinyl records by bross and wham!
perfume, deodorant, talk and soap

yorkshire parkin and a cantelope
...

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Cup of coffee

cup of tea

hot chocolate

milkshake

cheese toastie

tuna melt

bacon butty

fruit cake

custard cream

vanilla slice

blueberry muffin

tray bake

Drunk them all

ate them all

now I've got

stomach-ache!

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Lied back

Eyes staring upwards

At the Soft Cell poster

Awkwardly tacked to the ceiling

But already beginning to curl at the edges

The sound of crockery clattering

Gently switches me back to reality

The familiar sound of the pot mixing bowl

Rocking back and forth

As Mum beats the eggs with alarming ferocity

(No mechanical aids in sight to whizz the mix into fluffy...

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New year, New year resolution

Gotta be strong, want absolution

This year I'm going to lose some weight

But what will I do without my cake?

Carrot cake, is that one of my 5 a day?

That areas always been kinda grey

And New York cheesecake, that's not so bad

Without the cheese it could be a new fad

Lovely and rich, chocolate fudge

Keep eating that and the weight w...

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