At a loss to know what happened, I did not see you fall
I wasn't  there, I didn't see when Angels came to call
A world without, memories now is all I see
I leave you now,  to say your own soliloquy.....

This is could be my own exposition,
Bills, money, world events, my own loneliness decision
People all around me but I'm hiding the pain
Physical illness or mental strife is all that I gain
...

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I'm tired and cold, rags gathered tight, so show me some pity
It's been to long out in this cardboard city
Food gathered and begged, no chance of meds, while you stay warm in luxury beds
A doorway, a tunnel, a railway station
A look of disgust from most of the nation
I didn't ask to be ousted from a normal life
To be fed to the streets in toil and stife
Clothes dishevelled, ripped and most...

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In the depths of my soul, a battle rages
Between the light and the dark, not written on pages
Deception creeps in, a constant war within
Yet I find strength to help, to heal, to even win

I lead and mentor with doubt in my heart
An imposter's mask, a master of art
Carrying others' weight, ignoring my own
At what cost, I wonder, am I overthrown?

But still, I stand tall like a lighthous...

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i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?

I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others

sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my toler...

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I'm not a soldier but I'm at war

Clean and sober year number four 

Battles with temptation 

Past friends and relations 

Conflict miscommunication 

I get tired of waiting I'm tryna be patient 

Testing my patience 

What's expected of me isn't me 

No point trying to change me you see 

That change must only come from me 

People are not what they seem 

Reality looks dif...

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They said, no!

no, you can’t!

just shut up,

go away;

they said

what they

always say,

too old,

too fat,

waste of space,

a pisspot,

a fantasist,

say voices

in my head.

I've told them,

piss off,

the first step’s

to take one,

so I took one,

I planned,

If you do not

you plan to fail,

so I got all my kit,

warm leggings

and mi...

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Hoody, vape and tatt

All night I've been sat

Another coffee will wake me up

Here's a magazine, take my cup

Alone on the ward, feeling bored

My eyes crush a matchstick hoard

Marks and scuffs on the walls

Remind me of times, restraints and all

Long days and nights settle in my thoughts

Old faces, names, and incidences haunt

Decisions made, young peop...

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Savouring the solace 

Subverting the scene 

A spectre on the surf 

Sublime and serene  

Suffering the silence 

Shaping the sun 

Scuppering the smog 

So sane with someone 

Staffing submerged 

Sheepish and surged 

Scared as the scurried scatter 

Splurged and so shattered 

Shanked and superfluous 

Serious and stained 

So sad to s...

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It reaches further than "please fuck me" or "don’t touch me"

It’s a liminal in-between 

A line we like to call blurry

But I never asked you to undress me

My body abandoned me

My words went slurry

Tongue too thick to go beyond a mumble

Kind sir escorted me to save me from stumble

Four times play on my mind

One of them I even forgot

Until it accosted me during a usual d...

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