Locus of Control
The question I never stop asking.
What exactly is and isn’t within my control?
The question I will never answer.
Is my fate my own?
Is destiny, a reality?
I am in control of my actions,
at least in theory.
My work ethic is mine to command,
that's the rumor anyway.
But if I were to get up and do,
would it make any difference?
I feel so exhausted from doing nothing.
So petrified I’m full of bullshit,
that I find myself with bullshit,
Just to justify my own fears
Locked in habit
trying to prove
that I’m not worth it.
A feeling I don’t claim as my own anymore.
Yet a lifestyle,
Mentally churning in the corner.
My “fly on the wall” skills maxed out.
Am I of the world?
Or am I of my own will?
Whatever that means…