hi andy, many thanks for the kind comments on my new york honeymoon poem

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Hi :) I just wanted to convey a difference with Eating Mango cos it is all out of my head..but what a lovely thought the stone and marriage! Ta for reading Laura x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Glyn..my flights of fantasy take me wherever lol..Oh to have been a travel writer..how wonderful is that?..I think now I am a little old..I guess I was trying to convey some kind of difference with Eating Mango..tis all made up.

Appreciate your comments very much Glyn :)

Comment is about Glyn Pope (poet profile)

Original item by Glyn Pope

Appreciated your comment on Eating Mango..my flights of fantasy take me to wonderful places ;)

Comment is about Mike Hilton (poet profile)

Original item by Mike Hilton

Thanks so much..appreciated x

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

And I won't admit to playing cards in church
either!
Thought your comment(s) on Lynn D's "critique"
discussion were on the money.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

A breath of fresh air Gus..lovely imagery.. :)

Comment is about The Last Ferry (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I might just do that. I got family in Liverpool so you never know, and i do like a good pie. However being from South London it'd be criminal if didn't have some mash with it. :P

I took the poem down in the end 'cause it was giving me a bloody headache. I had no idea it would cause that kind of palava. It wasn't even one of my favourites anyway.

I will say this though; It's been emotional.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

A visceral ode to footie thuggery - when footie
means something else entirely!
I can well imagine how effective it might sound spoken with the right amount of venom.

Comment is about Match Day (blog)

Original item by Jack Pascoe

This took me back to the time my now long retired brother-in-law hired a yacht and some of us went sailing out of Lymington on the Solent. Vivid - almost "Technicolour" - use of imagery that transported me there once again. A real treat!

Comment is about The Last Ferry (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Enjoyed this very much, Dave, and the image is perfect for your poem too.

Comment is about The Myth Of The Perfect Man (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

It`s not until the blood cools down do we realise that this poem is (only?) about a kiss!

Talk about brinkmanship (or brink - woman - ship)! It had me going.

It is living proof that sexuality along the very edges of restraint is well more powerful than all the `crash bang, lets get on with it` stuff around today.

The `until` and the `we will` in the last two stanzas just about keep the `hungry loins` and the `churning pool` at bay, `drum` (hearts?) beating till the `until`

That `plant your seed` might be unfashionable, but it turns this into a tour de force of genuine female sexuality.

One very, very, very, very, minor point:
I don`t think `flowers` or `petals` belong in it.

Never enjoyed a poem so much for ages.

Comment is about The Kiss (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Dear Ann,
The first verse is perfect -the second is great evocation, requiring perhaps the present tense rather than conditional as it is a vision,the third needs to recall her absence as the colour of the opal fades - I know this sounds intrusive, but you have the core of a great piece here, please give it some more.
Steve Smith

Comment is about missing mum (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

sorry barbi but i cant suggest to alter anything. it is great as it is and it stands as one of the best pieces of writing ive read on wol. ive read some of your other writing and im excited to have found a blog that i will follow with much interest.
i love the sounds and images you put together and themes of 'scientific discoveries' your ideas are refreshing and new to me. its great x

Comment is about Fireflies in Glass Jars (blog)

Original item by BT

Thank you Cynthia for your comments on Friends.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

but my dear miss mediocre, if you give all you've got, you'll have nothing for yourself. as i say that i also want to say burst out with more words. I want to read them.

Comment is about Just going with the flowing. (blog)

Cheers Yvonne and Ray

Yeh, know what you mean Yvonne - tried to hold it back but it weren't having any ;)

Ray - the conditions line stays because it DID make us sick. I only stopped wheezing when I moved into private rented accommodation with proper heating and insulation, and no dreaded black mould.

Have altered the 2nd verse of the 2nd part - whaddaya reckon?

Paedobear - internet meme, with reference to social anxiety about paedophiles/letting kids play out.

Fauntleroys - hmm...was nearly princesses, but I didn't want to sex them. That sounds wrong! Why don't you like it? Gonna leave the other 3 lines too I think.

Didn't even notice the extra 'own' goddammit. Will think of a replacement, cheers.

Changed brick of (even though I knew the pause was different I accept what you say) to lego - better? Worse?

Comment is about Prose Upon The River (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

In short, I thought the first poem was excellent, the 2nd one much less so. Some thoughts/suggestions.

You'd be better off without "collectively", I think.

Last year I moved out of council housing

Maybe Conditions made us old before our time

The rhythm goes askew in 2nd verse of 2nd part, from the secretary skills line.

Paedobear? Whassat?

Again, I don't like Pampered little Fauntleroys and the 3 lines that follow. Off rhythm and strike the wrong note.

Repetition of "own" in 4th verse is lazy!

"brick of housing"? Who on earth would say that?

Comment is about Prose Upon The River (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

loved your poem/s.
Great alliteration ( just a bit OTT perhaps but still loved it). very evocatve,I remember playing marbles - and the outside privvy too. Nostalgia tempered by the rough side of life
Yvonne x x x

Comment is about Prose Upon The River (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Ahhh - got ya Mike, re the images captured and and replayed. PTSD for you, eh? Ignore what I said then, because you played it spot bloody on, chap.

Comment is about OVER BY CHRISTMAS? (blog)

Original item by Mike Hilton

Glad you liked it. i enjoyed writing it.

Comment is about The Kiss (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

I must get back to this, Dermot. See you tomorrow.

Comment is about The playground of lights (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

Very good poem, Tom, with captivating images involving sight and sound. The perspective of the birds is an imaginative scenario at any time, and you have captured it in your own inimitable style, with imagination. Freda always gives great feedback, and she's very choosy.

Comment is about New York, Honeymoon Poem no.3 (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

This is really potent, well-considered and very strongly crafted. I actually find many poems here, under one major theme, yes, but sections that can be lifted out verbatim and considered as short, hard-hitting observations. Perhaps the intensity decreases a bit as the poem carries forward, as the reader begins to anticipate your ideas. I am glad I took the time to come back to this. It is worth the effort.

Comment is about Snafus (blog)

Original item by J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang)

A great subject to highlight, and very true. Meeting s cyber friend in person becomes a major event. I have never been disappointed. 'friend' almost needs a new definition in this century.

Comment is about FRIENDS (blog)

Short and very powerful, a universal theme typified by this one event. You know the drill: 'from the part - the whole' regardless of what the subject is. And your ironic, perceptive last line is a hard-hitter.

Comment is about Demolition (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

We have a zoo very close to here. You'll be able to visit it in September. A most beautiful zoo where the animals are kept in natural habitat, based in a Troglodyte village and quarry. In the zoo is a vulture centre. You can walk amongst the vultures, even at feeding time.

Comment is about Glyn Pope (poet profile)

Original item by Glyn Pope

A lyrical moment caught in singing verse. If I might make one small point - when you read this aloud, or even mouthing it in your mind, there are a couple of lines that I think would be stronger if you left out a syllable or two, or even an entire word - for example -

"gentle sea splashing the weedy legs of dark jetty"

"a gull watches quietly beneath white wing"

IMO, the music of the 'matched' syllables becomes more intense. Just a thought, and always with respect.

Comment is about The Last Ferry (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hi MC thanks for your comment on Friends. The internet is a great place.

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Brilliant. a poetry feast. Have you ever 'analysed' "Jonah in the Belly of the Whale"?

Comment is about The Whale's Mouth (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Hi Glyn Thanks for comment on the Miami birds! Didn't know you were on WOL! (By the way - they were American Black Vultures!)

Comment is about Glyn Pope (poet profile)

Original item by Glyn Pope

I am naturally discursive, if not downright argumentative. I do not equate 'easy' answers with 'simple' answers, and I do not admire lazy thinking. Ergo, I can be quite annoying - I work hard to smooth out my natural tendencies, not to be a prime PITA.

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

This is a charming narrative - the sense of the young girl recording those moments is tangible.

Best wishes, Dave

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I think, therefore I am.... don't stop thinking Graham.

'I think about our children's future and all their tomorrows'

I like your poem. That line stands out for me. I think about it a lot. Houses are now inaffordable, education inaffordable, decent jobs scarce. I imagine many people sticking to one child per family in the future - and the knock on effects of that.

Your poem made me think :)x

Comment is about I Think (blog)

Original item by Graham Robinson

I agree with Stella - some amazing stuff here. I, too, like 'violins scented with spring...' - 'bread of the moon'....beautiful!

Am really enjoying reading your work.

Comment is about In Este (blog)

Original item by Brutus Paulinus

Thanks for the suggestions, spelling is not quite my forte, nor is typing. I do agree with you on the "bleed for me thing" happening way to much. I just really like blood. I think I will slowly keep editing this one until it feels more refined. Thanks your critic really helped. Cheers

Comment is about Sugar Revolution (blog)

Original item by BT

Don't tell me, MC. Like Wink Martindale, you know cos you was that Sergeant!

Comment is about OLD MAY (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

This also brought back a long forgotten memory for me of standing with a group of other kids watching the men despatch cattle with a bolt gun. Either a memory or a dream. Food production was less sanitised (literally and figuratively) in those days. I think that was healthy too. It meant you had no self-delusions that meat was clean, pre-packed food you bought from the supermarket; it was flesh and blood and had been killed.

Comment is about DOG FOOD (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

Such a pretty word, such a gob full too..

Enjoyed this and a good take as Lynn says :)

Still laughing here at you not being entirely satisfied with his word...sweet!

Comment is about Thank you, Horace Walpole (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I knew this woman!!! I truly did! Dif name but def her lol :)

Comment is about OLD MAY (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Bloody hell Graham! To think of so much at once could cause some form of nasty implosion..I could hear you reading this by the way :)

Comment is about I Think (blog)

Original item by Graham Robinson

I am wondering how you came to be there Ian?..I have a piece called The Judas Sheep which you have reminded me of..

Comment is about DOG FOOD (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

This is so good..so many original thoughts within it..Viollins scented of spring, aged velvet crystals..super stuff and a damn good read :))

Comment is about In Este (blog)

Original item by Brutus Paulinus

Off for tea and crumpets now Lynn
(NO! not that kind!)
will catch you on the morrow.

Keep up the good work!

lotsa you know what.xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Having just soaked up
the sensuousness
in this yummy poem,
we are about to throw a bucket
of cold water over each other!

Nice one Yvonne.xx

Comment is about The Kiss (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Maybe Kipling got it right...
"If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim".
My brain hurts! And I was always told by a good friend "Avoid stress!" But then I remember that old Bob Luman pop hit from way
back "Let's Think About Living" with its upbeat
message - and it gets me back on an even keel.

Comment is about I Think (blog)

Original item by Graham Robinson

The repetition/similar words are deliberate (but with word order changed) to emphasise the idea of loneliness and not looked after/not able to look after oneself.

Comment is about The Photograph (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Hi Lynn.
Read your message on our blog
will get back to you on that.

Thanks
Patricia and Stef.xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thankyou, Graham,

Although my mother was not bedridden, her gradual slide into Alzheimers triggered the emotion

Comment is about The Photograph (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

It can come to any of us to play "God" under
certain circumstances; it's just as well most of us are spared that...most, if not all, of the time. A vivid depiction of death visited
upon a living creature for mankind's purposes.
Like Oxymandias...we are all headed for history - hopefully with someone or some animal
close to hand to see us out. At least your bull went quickly, whereas we are content to
permit a lengthy, undignified & painful demise
for our fellows in the name of "humanity" and "religion". How perverse is that?!

Comment is about DOG FOOD (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant