you had me with the opening lines here Adam.
Nice one
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Adam Whitworth
A marvellous poem that says so much with so few, but as has been said poignant words.
Comment is about Aristocratic Impulse (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
This is a cracking poem Tom. I love the whole metaphor around the cooling towers connected with steam and water.
Thinking on
all those bad miles behind me
is such a good link to the poem
Marvellous stuff sir, congratulations on POTW
Comment is about 'Cooling Towers' by Tom is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
What a fantastic piece Linda, we feel your panic, your pain and your joy as you lead us through the initial challenges of starting your course. Hang in there, we are all proud of you and know you are going to go from strength to strength.
Comment is about Learning to write better poetry - and having a drink - with Carol Ann Duffy (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Some poems I just have to put somewhere before I burn them. Sorry WOL ?
Happily there's only a small backlog of ones like this, and they'll run out soon enough.
Comment is about Sorcerer's Apprentice (blog)
Original item by Eric Maynard
I appreciate the theme of someone who is reluctant to pass through an open door. It stands the convention of "progress" and success on it's head, and forces the reader to consider what it means to refuse an invitation, and why we might. Thank you for sharing.
Comment is about Closed Windows (blog)
Original item by Erica
I appreciate the many symmetries in this; the salt tears of the narrator on the beach like the salt waves of the ocean, and the way the last lines carry us gently away, like the tide going out.
It captures well the feeling of releasing of some unspoken grief to the elements, which is so primal. Thanks for sharing.
Comment is about Away (blog)
Original item by Lan
second stanza got me too, very lyrical.
Comment is about Handspan (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Your bio says you're a songwriter, and this would make a great song.
Comment is about Own Devices (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
This is subtle, I find myself reading and re-reading it to work down through the layers. The language is sparse, poignant, and beautiful. There are some really heart wrenching turns of phrase for me, like "it's the waste that doesn't scrape off your plate". There are some nice reversals, like "more than you can share" that hit nicely. It feels very well constructed.
The context is tenuous, yet it all seems very familiar. I am forced to work hard to get closer to wherever you were when you wrote it. I end up being where I am and reflecting, and I think that's a hallmark of good writing. Thank you for sharing.
Comment is about Aristocratic Impulse (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Lovely poem and an excellent subject. I really like this one.
Comment is about Three Wishes (blog)
Original item by Erica
You may burn and rave...but make sure you keep writing
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
There is a sort of other worldliness in this Karen. Transcendant - and what you describe seems to reveal a kind of acceptance , a maturity regarding what may be inevitable. There is such a lovely round and lyrical feel to the poem. (I'm enjoying your book !)
Ray
Comment is about And We Begin (blog)
Original item by Karen Ankers
Stand out stuff Laura. Hell is respect and if etiquette still exists it ain't here . A cracking poem and i'm sure will massively effective in a live reading, but then you know that!
Ray
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
The grinning fool shrugged "i dont know what it is but i liked it"
Comment is about Wonderland Nightmare (blog)
Original item by Jacklyn Turner
Interesting how lines can be like lyrics - an idea that fills me with trepidation . I think maybe as I thought of the first line it just seemed to flow so off I went to pad it out. Thanks Suki.
Cheers Col. I feel elevated and I know you like songs from the heart; thanks for the clip. Funny being a muso I can't marry words to music readily. Appreciate it all the more.
Uplifting thoughts Laura, thanks. Salvation awaits for those with determination and individual guts - some of us do get stuck in a previous experience and don't move on .
You make a serious point Eric thanks. Often a victim needs a victor to make a pair. Then again, the roles can be reversed by self examination and rise again! My brother when his marriage broke up said he thought relationships were based on mutual neuroses.... i'll leave that one with you!
Stu, sounds like you appreciate the predicament - shining armour a bit of a fallacy all round!
David, God forbid - me manipulating words for effect? How dare I, - but then again..... Thanks pal.
Many thanks also Tom for your liking!
love to all you lovely contributors. Ray
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Mishal Das
Sat 21st Oct 2017 19:07
Beautiful lines my dear...??? so beautiful??
Comment is about ~HOME FARAWAY~ (blog)
Original item by priyakhi barbara
Nicola Beckett
Sat 21st Oct 2017 17:14
Stu - a beautiful representation of inevitability. A bird's eye view of mankind's trudge toward godlessness. As an atheist, I say its about time too. You capture the final defiant fight so well I am envious of your words. Thanks for this one.
Rob
Comment is about death poem (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Hi Stu,
It really isn't easy to write a poem about this subject ~ so many pitfalls, but this is excellent.
The last verse, to my mind, is as good as anything you have written. Nice one, and thanks for sharing!
Suki
Comment is about death poem (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Nicola Beckett
Sat 21st Oct 2017 00:35
Yes it's about my nephew, he's an ? Angel in my life x
Comment is about Angel (blog)
Original item by Nicola Byrnes
Thanks Stu, glad you liked it, always worth digging out your old Gong
Comment is about Acid mothers Temple, Lewes, 18/10/17 (blog)
Original item by David T Jones
Hahahaha. Laura you have just climbed to top of the table as my favourite anarchist.
Go girl.
Raj
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Well someone had to do it!
Makka Pakka Akka wakka Mikka makka moo!
Makka Pakka Appa yakka Ikka akka ooo.
Hum dum
Agga pang In gang ooo.
Makka Pakka Akka wakka Mikka makka moo!
(The Night Garden)
Comment is about A silly ditty... not by me! (blog)
Original item by mike booth
And one of my favourites...
There's holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in
But they're ever so small
That's why rains so thin.
:-)
Comment is about A silly ditty... not by me! (blog)
Original item by mike booth
Follow your dream Linda follow your dream and leave those begging letters in the recycling bin till you are well on your way!
Comment is about Learning to write better poetry - and having a drink - with Carol Ann Duffy (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
love it! fuck going down without a fight!
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
wonderful. my first ever gig was the grateful dead when i was 10. i never quite recovered, and camembert electrique by gong is being dug out tonight just to be able to read this while listening.
Comment is about Acid mothers Temple, Lewes, 18/10/17 (blog)
Original item by David T Jones
lovely words ray. blast those handsome knights and their unfulfilled promises!
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
lovely stuff. i read this under a depressingly grey welsh sky but your words transported me exactly where you wanted them to
Comment is about The Eye of Morning (blog)
Original item by Chris Hubbard
Hi Helen
As Graham said above, the poem has charm. Also the reader is transported immediately to that experience. We can imagine being there. Reminds me of the days when I used to go fishing in Portugal except we took wine. Well done!
Comment is about 'How to Catch a Fish in the Solent' by Helen Elliott is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I really enjoyed this. I agree with Laura's comments; for me it feels like watching someone maturing, getting ready to cast off the social "training wheels" that guide our first efforts at relating to people, and it easily evokes that sort of disappointed frustration that it's so easy to feel looking back on my own mistakes.
Reading it, a thought came to mind of a companion poem, written from the perspective of the handsome knight. What have they both lost? Were they both using and being used? Thoughtful stuff, and fluent.
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
(on feeling successful) Haha, yes! ?
Thank you both for the kind words. It feels good to share, and to take inspiration from all the amazing art being poured out here.
Comment is about Held (blog)
Original item by Eric Maynard
Sorry to be late back Suki - all's well thanks for asking. That hay fever is a bummer; I started to get it and now take cider vinegar every day , failing that local honey. Worked a treat for me . I love the light variation in spring and autumn!
Dr. Pool.
Comment is about AFTERMATH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thanks Laura - I came away from the gig knowing I had to catch it somehow!
Comment is about Acid mothers Temple, Lewes, 18/10/17 (blog)
Original item by David T Jones
Fri 20th Oct 2017 10:15
This is lovely, I have nothing else to say, but a like didn’t seem enough
Comment is about Held (blog)
Original item by Eric Maynard
Thanks alot Phil , very pleasing , cheers
Comment is about Dragging my Life to School (blog)
Original item by David R Mellor
big thanks Tom , glad it hit a cord , cheers
Comment is about So many are falling from the skies, of comfortable lives (blog)
Original item by David R Mellor
Nice one Helen! ? Lovely poem and a very worthy winner. So glad you're back with us for a while ?
Comment is about 'How to Catch a Fish in the Solent' by Helen Elliott is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Great idea for a poem! You capture the night well. I've seen Damo Suzuki several times, and he always manages to make me lose my shit ? Also lucky enough to catch a jampacked gig at a festie a few years ago by System 7.
Comment is about Acid mothers Temple, Lewes, 18/10/17 (blog)
Original item by David T Jones
She'll go back to education, get a degree, or go travelling, or open a donkey sanctuary, or work with the homeless, or any number of things, and hopefully gain a sense of self/identity that doesn't revolve around being an object ?
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Cheers chaps ? Just trying to cheer myself up in the midst of writing a string of miserable poems!
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hi Philip
Thank you for your recent remarks on my page. Weirdly enough, I did a poem in January 2012 with the same title. I'm not gonna blog it but here it is:
WALK TO THE SHOPS
Slip into the sprinkle of a drizzle-filled day
Plastic bag crisp in hand, aiming for the shops
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Carry on
Past the step
yellow tread
bearing Bulmers: lippy-stained
halfway drained
Pavement decorated in
a strange shade of sick
J’arrive at ‘The Parade’!
The Mean Street of Thatto Heath
Stench of piss and pizza
wraps itself around my mouth
as I kick along the papers
that cradled last night’s chips
Pit-shaved grinning princess,
billboarded, looks down
From within her perma-tan, she oozes
anonymity
Blinding me with bleachy teeth and peachy poreless face
I hope to fuck my DNA does not contain that kind of clean
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Past the bus stop;
betting shop;
fag shop; tat shop;
takeaway; SALON;
takeaway; TANNING;
takeaway, takeaway;
CHIPPY.
Luckily:
‘health advice for minor conditions’ -
free inside the pharmacy
There’s no water in the fridges of the takeaway shops
And I didn’t want pop. They looked at me weird.
Social pariah, for wanting water.
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Homeward bound
Past the salon
Chip fat alley
Tan tat fag bet bus
Ministering pharmacist
Past the step
yellow tread
Bulmers gone
Small red shoe there now instead
… wonder who..?
Tiny tatty lone red shoe
Torn too. Wonder if she’s..?
Nearly home
Nearly there
Rid my mouth of piss and murk
Home from hell on earth
a walk to the shops
and a musing or four
And then I recall
I forgot
what?
I went for
Comment is about Phils Words (poet profile)
Original item by Phils Words
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 20th Oct 2017 09:04
some groan out loud one liners in there David and all good fun. Thanks for posting and good luck with the therapy. Col.
Comment is about Halloween Support (blog)
Original item by David Lindsay
Martin Elder
Sun 22nd Oct 2017 18:05
I like the turn and use of words with this, but can't help feeling there should be more. or maybe that is your intention to eave the reader wanting more. Just a thought.
But I like it none the less.
Comment is about Poem in Progress E (blog)
Original item by MyDystopiA