relapse (Remove filter)
The Smallest Of Triggers
I hate how I feel
although common it seems,
having been once again
what I swore I’d not be.
Yes, despite all the talks
that I’ve had with myself,
making promises to
put the past on the shelf.
Asking Heaven to help me
and forming a plan,
putting forth my best effort
to do all I can.
But so quickly it seems
to unravel and fray,
as I lea...
Saturday 30th March 2024 9:24 pm
The Eye Of The Storm
Once crashed the waves in tempest’s storm,
and blew the wind as sails were torn.
Once drove the rain against frozen skin
as darkness took the vessel in.
Once void of any hope at all,
trapped deep inside the prison’s wall,
beneath the crushing weight of lead
but faintest light shown from ahead.
Then in a moment, skies were clear
and ocean’s calm dispelled the fe...
Friday 15th March 2024 1:20 am
Relapse
The state of the worse. The state of the damned.
Is this the sad state where I find that I am?
The evil inside me who long dwelt therein,
I’d given him home for he felt like a friend.
But then cast I did he out of necessity
to walk in dry places, where rest he did seek.
And while he did roam, I set forth alone
acting quickly to sweep and to garnish my home.
...
Monday 4th March 2024 4:12 pm
At The Ledge
Each time before when I had fallen, landing in the pit below,
I found upon the ground were words that I could gather up to build
a latticework of scaffolding to climb upon so I could go
back to the surface with the crowd, but every time I found that still
I’d stay close to the ledge not knowing why I didn’t walk away.
I told myself it wasn’t wise. I asked, “why don’t you ever l...
Wednesday 21st February 2024 2:55 am
At The Door
Curled up in the corner
in dead of the night.
Afraid of darkness
and praying for light.
Eyes peer from the ceiling.
Hands reach from the floor.
Hearts beat from the walls
and he stands at the door.
No chemical shields me.
No masquerade hides.
The sweat of my body,
the fear in my eyes.
He’s pounding and pounding
and growing in strength.
He’s ...
Tuesday 13th February 2024 4:10 am
Yet Again
The feeling
haunts me
time and time again.
I feel it as it’s coming
like a scent upon the wind.
Like wind across the predator
wafts out to warn the prey.
So likewise all I know and feel
screams, “turn and run away!”
But something deep inside me
in a way I can’t explain,
finds pleasure in the desecration,
need inside the pain.
So, mind and heart...
Tuesday 13th February 2024 4:08 am
Life Is A Slow Death (God Please Help Me)
I can't take it,
I'm only asking,
Please Lord help me,
I'm tired of relapsing,
Over and over,
My veins are collapsing,
I know you hear me,
I'm sorry for babbling,
I don't understand,
Why this keeps happening,
I'm covering the pain,
It's so everlasting,
The hurt burns deep,
It never stops dragging,
Life is a slow death,
It's truly a sad thing,
My hand...
Sunday 10th May 2020 3:20 pm
relapse
defeated as it seems
cant resist tempation; the devils wicked schemes
all the hard work straight down the dump
cant let anyone find out i crashed over a bump
a little nervous but i dont seem to care
ive lied to so many people, including myself, i know its not fair
not a single moral thought running through my head
this might be the time i overdose and remain dead
i cant dec...
Wednesday 15th January 2020 12:05 pm
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