my past experience (Remove filter)

Never told you

Never told you

I never told you
How much I really loved you
or how much I really did care
That is my biggest mistake

I would do anything for you
Even lay down my life
In place of yours
Without a moments hesitation

I never told you
How stupid I felt around you
Or how you took my breath away
And I regret not telling you

But if I told you now
Would you believe me
Would it even...

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Memoriesmy past experiencefriends


I watched myself turn to something,

 A person I was afraid to be.

Swallowed by anger, hatred and resentment,

I kept my head high for too long,

I couldn't bear what I was.

A retard and a drunkard with a lost soul,

Sold into trauma trying to please people. 

Put them at ease, subtle hypnosis.

Pain, regret and depression served, 

Don't know if that's karma saved for me.


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resentmentemotional painmy past experience

In Memory Of....

Asking for something that I've been searching for
Something I couldn't predict
Isn't always what it seems
Not always something legit
You were something I couldn't fathom
You came with a price
Your heart belonged to another
Something that wouldn't suffice

I walked away with a heart full of pain
And tears running down my cheek
You're someone I felt so calm with 
Where I even lost words ...

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my past experiencemonsters people past disappointment

New Therapist

She sits there her book full of latent codes,
a way of communicating so no-one knows
Rambling on my life, traces of a history unread:
a mind full of trash and misdeeds unsaid.
She's a pristine therapist, who hasn't lived,
expecting me to say all and give,
when I couldn't give a shit about her plan.

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therapyCounsellingmy past experiencemothers. children

So Unpredictable


So unpredictable.

So sharp and so cunning

Is the pain that run through me,

Hideous yet so stunning.


I want to keep it here, 

I want to feel it's cold aching

Blood spilling from me

My heart is still breaking


What if I want it to stop?

Please, leave me alone!

It'll be there. Waiting.

For me to decay down to bones. 


Maybe that's what I wa...

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depressionmanic depressionmental healthmental illnessanxietysadnesspainsuicideself harmdeathlifepastpast eventsmy past experience





I have been married,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I know how you feel.                                                                                                               ...

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rowfightnearly split upmy past experienceseeing a couple row

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