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jeremy young

Fri 22nd May 2015 18:15

thank you Lynn - though I prefer to call them mules rather than clogs

Comment is about alive (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 22nd May 2015 16:20

As you usually do, you baffle me with these words. The first six lines I find incomprehensible but the remaining nine are really quite lovely. You are a Rubik's cube poet for me.

Good to see you back again on here.

Graham

Comment is about Now (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Natalie Audoire

Fri 22nd May 2015 16:16

I've made some changes. Here's the original:

When you come to me

problems laid out on a plate

wetness glistening your eyes

looking to me desperately

for some miraculous reply

I cannot give



do you forget that I too

struggle with how to live?

Appreciate the feedback thank you x

Comment is about The Struggle (blog)

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Nigel Astell

Fri 22nd May 2015 15:45

Hi Julian

It was good to see you at the last Stockport W O L meeting will you be putting those mug shots of us on the site or are they that bad!

Comment is about Julian Jordon (poet profile)

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 22nd May 2015 14:17

So Luke said to my wife, 'I can't eat this beef stew.' My wife said, 'Shut up! It's custard pie!

Comment is about 'Poetry should have bite and snarl, but it's better for joy and sadness than anger': Luke Wright (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Lynn Hamilton

Fri 22nd May 2015 13:25

I love this. You are a clever clogs.

Comment is about alive (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

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Colin Hill

Fri 22nd May 2015 12:20

:)

an interesting subject on which I dare not comment !

However, may I suggest that in line 3 the first 'once' is not needed?

x

Comment is about something i must hide (blog)

Original item by muse

David Moore

Fri 22nd May 2015 11:57

Thank you for your comment on 'The Smugglers Tunnel' always appreciated.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

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Colin Hill

Fri 22nd May 2015 07:53

typos too. x

Comment is about something i must hide (blog)

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Darren Scanlon

Fri 22nd May 2015 06:48

Thank you, Quadrya.

Comment is about DREAMING FOR ALL TO SEE (blog)

Original item by THE PEN AND THE PAGE

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Colin Hill

Fri 22nd May 2015 06:17

good one this although you stopped for too many p's on the way up. x

Comment is about Towards the shoulders of a giant (blog)

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Qadriya Suhaida

Fri 22nd May 2015 05:35

Beautiful.

Comment is about DREAMING FOR ALL TO SEE (blog)

Original item by THE PEN AND THE PAGE

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Julian (Admin)

Fri 22nd May 2015 00:44

What a lovely memoir of an historic occasion, poetically speaking. I have just got in from hearing another poetry hero, Brian Patten, reading at the Live from Worktown festival. He talked of spending evenings chatting in his orchard with Adrian Mitchell, brandy and glasses to hand. You were there, and you remember it, David. Impressive!

Comment is about 'A tremendous sense of occasion': David Andrew on the Albert Hall Incarnation (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Helen Elliott

Thu 21st May 2015 22:48

Yes and good ones at that ha :)

Comment is about THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

David Moore

Thu 21st May 2015 22:44

I have often reflected upon Lennon's 'Imagine'.

When I was young it did inspire me to think about the various questions Lennon posed in its text.

Somewhere in time it became somewhat of a dirge to me, and although it is undeniably a work of great composition and simple melody time has exposed Lennon's then youthful naivety, which of course all youth shares.

I wonder how Lennon himself would now feel about it. I think he might possibly dislike it intensely, and may even be slightly embarrassed by it.

I am a Humanist and am deeply irreligious, although I am also fascinated by the so called great religions. That said if these religions were to be absent from our world, mankind would find some other perversion to replace them with. At the very least they make life more interesting.

Aspirational dreams become a problem when we expect them to be delivered, they are then no longer our dreams. Indeed sometimes they morph into our living nightmares.

We should guard against our dreams, and certainly the dreams of others as they are rarely the same as our own.

Comment is about DREAMING FOR ALL TO SEE (blog)

Original item by THE PEN AND THE PAGE

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John Coopey

Thu 21st May 2015 22:42

I'm afraid these are just memories now, Helen!

Comment is about THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS (blog)

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John Coopey

Thu 21st May 2015 22:40

Now, now, Harry. Don't give in. We're both still Young Turks inside.
(An' what you doin' lookin' at yer scrotum for?)

Comment is about Don Juan in his decrepitude (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

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John Coopey

Thu 21st May 2015 22:36

Ah, got it, Graham. It was Gaia in Eden. I read it as Gala (Bingo).

Comment is about In search of Eden (blog)

Original item by Graham Sherwood

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Helen Elliott

Thu 21st May 2015 22:32

Made me laugh. A lot!

Comment is about THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Helen Elliott

Thu 21st May 2015 22:31

Natalie, I really like this. It is very powerful and made me stop to question certain aspects of my own life. Great stuff.

Comment is about The Struggle (blog)

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John Coopey

Thu 21st May 2015 22:28

Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie"! You're lucky you got one; they don't have a lot of moral rectitude!

Comment is about GOODBYE TO A LITTLE LIFETIME (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Natalie Audoire

Thu 21st May 2015 22:10

No, Cynthia I like it. It's more direct more powerful. Thankyou. X

Comment is about The Struggle (blog)

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 21st May 2015 21:27

Very topical, with reports of even more "well known" people
under investigation for criminal acts against youngsters when youth and its urges were in charge of barely lived lives.

Comment is about FALLEN IDOLS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 21st May 2015 21:08

Thanks - I am lost and raypool. It seemed somehow more
affecting that the little life should expire within view from
the regular "eyeline" from my chair rather than a hundred
and one other places out of sight and mind.

Comment is about GOODBYE TO A LITTLE LIFETIME (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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David R Mellor

Thu 21st May 2015 20:40

thank you Colin for taking the time to comment, heart warming that you like it , all true

Comment is about I realised i was me (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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raypool

Thu 21st May 2015 20:13

Lovely simple and direct style that is quite wistful and after my own heart! Nice title too.

Comment is about GOODBYE TO A LITTLE LIFETIME (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Colin Hill

Thu 21st May 2015 20:09

nice one David, especially the 'creating Marvel figures before tea' line
x

Comment is about I realised i was me (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Helen Elliott

Thu 21st May 2015 19:29

Thanks for the advice. I will give it a go at the next open mic and see how it goes :) x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Darren Scanlon

Thu 21st May 2015 19:04

Yes indeed. This piece was inspired by that very beautiful song.

Comment is about DREAMING FOR ALL TO SEE (blog)

Original item by THE PEN AND THE PAGE

David Moore

Thu 21st May 2015 18:26

'Imagine'

Comment is about DREAMING FOR ALL TO SEE (blog)

Original item by THE PEN AND THE PAGE

David Moore

Thu 21st May 2015 18:16

I do like this, it offers so many questions for discussion.

If you were to end the text with one additional line, just one word 'Discuss'

It would be extremely effective and provocative.

Maybe you did that on purpose though, leaving it to the reader to contemplate the un-posed questions.

Comment is about Love (blog)

Original item by Clive

I am lost

Thu 21st May 2015 17:50

I like the way the poem was written. I can vividly imagine what happened there.

Comment is about GOODBYE TO A LITTLE LIFETIME (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

I am lost

Thu 21st May 2015 17:44

I like this one...

Comment is about Silence (blog)

Original item by Hannah Metsker

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Colin Hill

Thu 21st May 2015 17:38

great first line.

also like the fact the title doesn't get repeated.

I was cutting the lawn myself yesterday but I'm not sure I quite fit your description.

Maybe you should ask Mr Adonis round for some garden maintenance. Or just read one of Titchmarsh's novels.

x

Comment is about grabbing the giddy moment (blog)

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Colin Hill

Thu 21st May 2015 17:27

ouch !

Comment is about Incision (blog)

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 21st May 2015 16:38

And as for the poem's title: it can still happen!!
:-)

Comment is about Old man rising (blog)

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 21st May 2015 16:25

Thanks for your comments on "Passing Feet". The poem
was inspired by my own need for a stick these days (until
the medicos get around to treatment on a back problem!).
It is even more noticeable how quick people walk when
limited to a slower pace!
Cheers.

Comment is about Steve (poet profile)

Original item by Steve

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Tommy Carroll

Thu 21st May 2015 16:19

Reading, writing and music...and surely texting? Tommy

Comment is about Hannah Metsker (poet profile)

Original item by Hannah Metsker

Lynn Hamilton

Thu 21st May 2015 13:22

Thank you for reading and your flattering comments, Cynthia. Your comments are very much appreciated :) x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Thu 21st May 2015 13:20

a lot of U's wasted that could have been emphasized ?

Comment is about ;) (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Thu 21st May 2015 13:15

great! all builds up to a very humourous conclusion.xx

Comment is about grabbing the giddy moment (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Thu 21st May 2015 13:12

awww poor old soul.Actually it isn't far off describing Mr Wildes early(ha!) 'skirmishes with trying to verticalize




xx

Comment is about Old man rising (blog)

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Thu 21st May 2015 13:06

We thank you Rose for gently rap rap rapping on our chamber door....wooooooh! xx

Comment is about Spooked! (blog)

Natalie Audoire

Thu 21st May 2015 10:55

Hi James. Thanks for this. I was going for a stop/start feel to match the theme of the poem.

Comment is about You - (blog)

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jeremy young

Thu 21st May 2015 10:20

thank you travis - suggestion noted and change made

it's one of the problems when you get caught between two horses - free verse that begins as a sort of villanelle, half way through wants to be a sonnet - and then decides to be neither - words hang around

Comment is about alive (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

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Rose Casserley

Thu 21st May 2015 10:04

Hi Gra(ha ha)am.Sorry I forgot the inclusion of bollocks and bogies.

There again,being a Lady of refinement (yeah right!)

Th-ha-ha-nks.

Rose.x

Comment is about Old man rising (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 21st May 2015 09:56

In the interests of accuracy Rose I feel obliged to point out that you omitted ball scratching and nose picking from the before he stood up section. Just saying.......

Comment is about Old man rising (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 21st May 2015 09:44

May God give me strength! - a pointed pen against self-important academia - and a travesty of Aristotelian intent.

I almost want to puke.

Go Simon!

Comment is about 'Self-schooled poet' Simon Armitage bids to become Oxford professor of poetry (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Rose Casserley

Thu 21st May 2015 09:43

Hi guys. Colin,thanks.Suggestions taken on board.

As to the man mauling,since there is enough of it on WOL to carpet a lot more than one mansion,maybe I 'll give you blokes a few days off!.....;o)

Last verse stays.I want to give the impression of PHEW!


M.C. Thanks for your positive views on life as a senior.Hope I can deal with it in the same way,if and when I get to your age.I 'salute' you!

Thanks also for typo spotting.


Cheers chaps!

Rose.x

Comment is about Old man rising (blog)

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Rose Casserley

Thu 21st May 2015 09:34

oo-er! hints of 'The Raven' Keep rocking P.S.(and S.W. of course..;o)...! )


Thank you.

Rose.x

Comment is about Spooked! (blog)

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