Wed 19th Mar 2014 13:03
Laura's right, the feel good in this is palpable.
Considering the current hoo-ha about rhyme, this shows that done correctly, it works perfectly.
Well done Jeremy,
Comment is about Dusk (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
Wed 19th Mar 2014 12:59
Marianne Daniels, I do believe you're becoming accessible (at least to me that is).
This is quite lovely.
Comment is about Blueberries (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Wed 19th Mar 2014 11:37
Thank you Laura, you are most kind,
Wed 19th Mar 2014 09:54
Cannot but agree with Cynthia - and a very short one for you M! But powerful and evocative nonetheless.
Wed 19th Mar 2014 09:51
Mmm liking the mixture of everyday with musings, and that last verse - leaves the reader hanging. Why do you ache? Because it's gone? Or something else? I'm not actually asking you btw - just musing myself :)
Comment is about On Turning 50 (blog)
Original item by Ralph Dartford
Wed 19th Mar 2014 09:48
Oh wow. This is just GORGEOUS. So well written, so evocative. I'm right there with them all. I love the sense of stability and security you build in there too with the kids - in jim-jams :) :)
This pleased me greatly. Lovely poem.
Wed 19th Mar 2014 09:15
Blissfully simple and direct. Good work.
Comment is about Red letter (blog)
Tue 18th Mar 2014 20:59
Hi Neil.Glad you like 'de-friend'Please feel free to use it.Cheers.x
Comment is about Neil West (poet profile)
Original item by Neil West
Tue 18th Mar 2014 20:34
I think you're right, MC. Humour is entirely personal. Although the icons mentioned above do nothing for me, I only had to look at Tommy Cooper to start giggling.
Tony Benn - Adored for the things he said; my views were tempered by what he did.
Comment is about GRAND OLD DAMES (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Tue 18th Mar 2014 18:00
Hello AJ and welcome to Write Out Loud. I’m really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site. If you haven’t already added a picture to your profile please try and do so. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.
Comment is about Average Joe (poet profile)
Original item by Average Joe
Tue 18th Mar 2014 17:42
Been clearly enjoyed his role in later life free
from that to which a long-serving Labour MP has referred in a personal appraisal. I quote:
'Only in his later years when all hope of "pelf
and place" were gone, did Bennery come to a
real fruition because his long career in politics went through three phases, from keen young moderniser, through disruptive middle age to socialist icon'.
There is no being "right" to be trumpeted except
when ego is all - but the life and passing of a
politician who, if he had his way, would have
surely encouraged the debate ("encouraged" was
the word he chose for his own tombstone).
Comment is about William Blake and Christian socialism: the poetic side of Tony Benn (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Tue 18th Mar 2014 16:53
There's always room for some black humour - I
like "The Twins". Keep them coming.
Comment is about Disturbing Verse (blog)
Original item by Louise Etheridge
Tue 18th Mar 2014 16:48
I like the concept and the manner of its telling-
but do you feel any different to when you turned
forty? From my own age of 70, I don't recall
experiencing much of a change then - and actually
feel little difference now. May this bring you
hope for what the future may hold!
Tue 18th Mar 2014 16:43
Intriguing and entertaining in equal measure,
with well-formed lines that contain an appealing
rhythm to make their case.
Comment is about She loves me not... (blog)
Original item by Christopher Dawson
Tue 18th Mar 2014 16:37
Humour is surely a state of mind. I've always
had an affection for the ridiculous type - the
sort that can laugh at its own pomposity/human
failings, and I confess that I enjoy Chaplin at
his most inventive (that comic feast "The Gold Rush") and M&W at their most silly in some of
their sketches. I also like "The Two Ronnies"
for the cleverness of the writing and the joyful performances.
As for Tony Benn: the long-term Labour MP Austin
Mitchell had virtually a full page about him in
the most recent issue of the Sunday Express...
can you imagine a similar occurrence in a left
-wing journal on some Tory grandee?! Mitchell
takes the view that once out of power, Benn
was able to become "an iconic elder statesman,
a man of pure principles". However, in the
struggle for power, he could also be described
as preaching "an impossible form of ultra democracy and became ever more powerful by telling militants, twerps and the perpetually
disgruntled what they wanted to hear".
No laughing matter there then!
Jane Burn Storybook Art
Tue 18th Mar 2014 14:24
Hello Cynthia :-) I am fairly new to this site - I put some stuff up a while ago and had a little go at updating recently. Certainly will consider changes - I appreciate any feedback. I have other poems on here too
Comment is about The Fountain House (blog)
Original item by Jane Burn
Tue 18th Mar 2014 12:49
Hi Cynthia Thanks for comments on 'Casablanca', especially for spotting the dodgy apostrophe! 'Casa Branca' in line 3 is corect because I'm referring to the original name.'Casa Blanca' is the hispanicised form that we all now use in the West and goes back to the Spanish protectorate.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 18th Mar 2014 12:23
Tue 18th Mar 2014 12:21
Sensitive and embracing. The opening six lines are delightful. I am presuming that 'you' is a wife/partner still with you.
Tue 18th Mar 2014 12:08
A poem to keep close at hand for frequent revisiting. Brilliant conclusion. A great contribution, Jane. Are you new to this site? I will check back for other work.
Would you consider two minor changes - mostly for 'rhythmic flow' - 'Churchill flicking his two-fingered salute' and 'coloured marbles half-pushed into eye sockets'.
Mon 17th Mar 2014 22:18
Hello Andrew and welcome to Write Out Loud. I’m really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site. If you haven’t already added a picture to your profile please try and do so. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time to make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.
Comment is about Andrew Lawson (poet profile)
Original item by Andrew Lawson
Mon 17th Mar 2014 19:54
CUH&GS = Cambridge University Heraldic and Genealogical Society; pronounced "cue hags". I was (much to my surprise at the time) president of it in the 1998-9 academic year. Last weekend was the Society's sixtieth anniversary banquet, and they commissioned this poem for the occasion. You can see me reading it at the link above.
Comment is about And the sky-blue shall overcome (blog)
Original item by Thomas Thurman
And lastly a performance at Bolton WriteOutLoud! Hi Neil, great to hear from you, blimey it was a few years ago, and definitely time to come down and share your work with us!
Enjoyed your ditty here & yes next one is 20 April at the Brooklyn, 7.30 for 8pm start, be great to see you, best wishes Jeff
Comment is about a list of last things (blog)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 19:48
Hi Cynthia, yes we're definitely on the same lines here! your description has explored the tragic times faced time and again, lets hope its avoided this time, thanx for your comment on Divided Land :-)
Comment is about Beloved (blog)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 18:26
Thank you! I absolutely like that some expressions got your attention! I know my words are simple because English is not my mother language but I know that my thoughts are complicated enough! Thank you for understanding what I wanted to say! Will keep writting if you keep reading!
Comment is about David Blake (poet profile)
Original item by David Blake
Mon 17th Mar 2014 17:07
I like the concept. It's a unique way towards expressing how to live your life, certainly. There are great words here: 'What darker than death they witnessed/To see me a ray of light?' and 'There was no heart to break/And no wild soul to harvest/No joy to steal no hope to mute' I particularly liked. Keep writing! :)
Comment is about Death Wish (blog)
Original item by Alice
Mon 17th Mar 2014 15:34
Thank you for passing by my humble profile! Please read my 'Death Wish' on the blogs wall! will be highly appreciated to hear your comments on it!
Mon 17th Mar 2014 15:19
Ian - no worries. I know a little of Tony Benn, but enough to know just how strong he was as a political personality - certainly someone not afraid to speak their mind. I can imagine him being a hero to many, not least to those of a poetic voice.
You are blatantly a rock star. One of the biggest on here, if I may be so bold. It's clear to see and shouting itself out loud :)
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Mon 17th Mar 2014 14:57
I would thoroughly support his taste in poetry and song.
Mon 17th Mar 2014 14:28
thanks for the comments on 'all that is left' David - pleased that you liked it - he was a hero, of sorts, for me.
also pleased you liked the videos - I enjoyed the wakefield piece - it's special performing something on the streets where you were born (not literally - ha)and to your 'neighbours' - I also enjoyed the 'with backing' tracks - the dormant rock star in me coming out at long last :-)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 14:25
thanks for the kind comments on 'silverback inn' Cynthia - very observant of you - the switch from first person is deliberate -an acknowledgement that if we ignore the warning signs, those old men could be us - thanks once again
Mon 17th Mar 2014 14:24
thanks for the comment on 'silverback inn' Dave - yes it's dark - but written as observed - human nature is all to often dark :-(
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Mon 17th Mar 2014 14:17
it beggars belief that anyone would think that the death of a politician, albeit a poetry loving politician, would not bring party loyalties out into the open or elicit 'the usual ping pong'. It is that ONE point of contention that Chris is digging his heels in about - not the rest of Greg's interesting and thought provoking piece. I have to say that I totally agree with Chris and his right to object - comparing Tony Benn to Margaret Thatcher - simply because they were extremists - is like comparing oil with wine - after all they are both liquid!
Perhaps those who do not want to argue the political on this piece should actually raise some comments about the rest of the well written article and leave the 'politico's' to make whatever comments they wish about the rest of it - after all, as Tony Benn himself would have argued, everyone has the right to comment and free speech whether you/they like it or not - thanks - Ian
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:56
Thanks for your kind words on 'Rain/Sun/Rain' Jeremy. I find your sample poem intriguing. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Comment is about jeremy young (poet profile)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:51
Thanks for your kind word on 'Rain/Sun/Rain'. I see you are new! I look forward to reading what you may have to offer :)
Comment is about Alice (poet profile)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:49
And thanks for the kind words on my latest. Means a lot :)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:45
Those who can see/write non-sense usually have a great understanding of sense/sensitivity/sensibility. This is a lovely poem, and skilfully structured with much complexity of rhyme pattern. Which sonnet form does it follow, if any? Or do I have the wrong format entirely?
I love formal verse also. How could I not, if I profess to be a poet?
Comment is about Epiphany (blog)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:33
Clever, and brief, and up-to-date. Like those earlier bards who jingled off topical lines that set the common folk howling with glee. With considerable skill too.
Comment is about Though I'm not a Shropshire lad (blog)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:27
Mr. Thurman, I must catch up with your posts. My computer is a bit more co-operative these days. Powerful point here, sharply expressed.
Comment is about tealice (blog)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 11:20
A very skillful poem, well-constructed. So what is CUH&GS? It's probably even more impressive if I know the background and can better appreciate the humour. It feels 'sly' but I'm not sure.
Mon 17th Mar 2014 10:51
You have a deft touch with diction, an ear for sound and the poetic sensitivity of seeing unusual relationships.
IMO, all good poets have a thesaurus at hand - you know - 'le mot juste'.
Line turns/breaks are also a major poetic skill and yours read well with both eye and voice .
Comment is about Rain/Sun/Rain (blog)
Mon 17th Mar 2014 07:27
A good, right-thinking man: the world is the poorer for lack of him.
Sun 16th Mar 2014 23:34
Greg,it's a shame this thread has been high jacked by the politicos who as usual are stripping the bones of a single point made in your piece. I thought it was about the man's poetic preferences, but sadly it has been swiftly transformed into yet another overblown ping pong tirade.
Nick Robinson is right when he says that TB will be best remembered as a chronicler of an era.
Sun 16th Mar 2014 23:32
Well, according to some theories of literature, it is what you see in it-- so yes, it presumably is :)
Sun 16th Mar 2014 23:30
Not Coventry City Football Club, then?
Sun 16th Mar 2014 21:12
"Like Marargate Thatcher, at one time he was regarded as bitterly divisive"
The above and nothing more, is what I have rallied against. I wont apologise for that whether it is two onto one, three onto one - or ten onto one.
Let's us see who is right!
Let us see what the British public thinks when it comes to his funeral.
Let's see if we have the same widespread reactions across the country as we did for her.
Let us see if you are right Greg/MC, let us see if I am right.
It is as simple as that.
Other people might not find that comparison worth fighting against - I happen to think it is rather important. Unless free speech has had its day...
Sun 16th Mar 2014 20:23
I don't think Tony Benn's death or the tone of this article warrants us all going to war over politics on WOL.
It's a good article Greg and it's interesting to hear of Benn's connection with poetry - I hadn't realised he was such a sensitive soul.
And at last - someone notable who shared your interest in trains!
Sun 16th Mar 2014 19:55
Thank you for your nice words Graham! Your words are even more poetic than my poem! Thank you really!
Comment is about Graham Sherwood (poet profile)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Sun 16th Mar 2014 19:29
Sun 16th Mar 2014 16:01
A very delicate and well executed poem.
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