(A little belated.  He died in 1982.  But never forgotten.)

 

This elergy marks t’sad decline o’ Barnsley’s market ‘all

Epitomised by t’absence of one vacant butcher’s stall.

Its loss a cause o’ lamentation, keening an’ far worse

Purveyor ‘ere par excellence of pies – owd Albert ‘irst.

 

They mun speak o’ Melton Mowbray but owd Albert ‘ad ‘em beat

Not least because ‘is growlers all contained a wodge o’ meat.

While others boast o’ Wigan mouthin’ Lancashiric lies,

But mention Albert ‘irst? they’ll look away an’ drop their eyes.

You’d get yer sweetbreads an’ bull’s brains an’ others o’ such type

Black puddin’, cow’eel, elder, ‘aslet an’, ‘o course, o’ tripe.

So t’spread at knurr an’ spell match wa’ no foreign fancy grub

But scratchin’s an’ ‘is growlers did fer tapas down at t’pub.

‘is stand pies they wa’ legend, an’ I can vouch fust ‘and

They got their name from ‘ow they made yer up’ill mutton stand.

 

Nutritious poncey options like quinoa could bugger off

It’s pies that put some spine in Boycott, Trueman, Darren Gough.

So raise thi pints o’ Oakwell beer an’ drink thi local dry

An’ toast Owd Albert’s passin’ an’ The Albert ‘irst Pork Pie.