Very funny Trevor and top marks for:

'And people so cool 'cause they live in a fridge'

Paul

Comment is about Lucy’s Lament (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Having slept on it and awoken - always a good way to start the day peut-être - it strikes me that this pomette is autobiographical - I used to have waking dream moments - when working as UK's most inept glassblower (not my fault that) - of being asleep in a forest glade and a passing band of troubadours waking me up saying, "You've been asleep too long."

Then followed my 'getting' the Incredible String Band (still getting them long after they disbanded) and setting off acid prompted to find 'god' (an ongoing quest - having 'found God' one then moves deeper into that endless reality).


I used the name, Anaïs, as I liked the sound of it - Betty woulda done just fine too, but there's a built in sense of 'any' there so maybe Anaïs means anyone I met on the way - everyone we meet instructs us somehow.

p.s. I just gave it a tryout in Shakespearean tempo - except for the 'bade' stanza it works quite well _ I'll try it out at posh dos :)

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

C'mon Joanna, there is a sequel to your poem that's desperate to get out.
I'm waiting!!!!

Raj

Comment is about In this life or the next (blog)

Original item by Joanna S

Well done on your first audio, Paul!

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thanks, kJ. I have a reputation for dealing with the big issues in poetry!

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Good afternoon, all, from the US...

Lots of years ago, when I was only 19, I had what was probably the most traumatic experience of my entire life. I didn't speak about it for weeks but it affected my behavior so greatly that I really couldn't hide the fact that something had gone terribly wrong. I was usually pretty quiet at that age and certainly not aggressive, but, as an example of how acute my anger was, I remember once throwing rocks at an absolutely harmless guy just for putting his arm around me. I did finally break and spoke with a close male friend about what had happened, but the shock didn't wear off for quite a while.

The piece isn't about this experience, specifically. However, it is about the fact that some events can tend to take control until we learn to process and handle them in our own way--even if the shock at the memory never entirely subsides.

I don't usually get so personal, but feel that maybe sometimes that's what writing must ultimately be--and, I've seen some very brave writing from others in this forum. Thanks to each of you for your comments..what a smart bunch you are.

elP

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

Thanks Ray, lovely praise. Your rich experience of music, including jazz, makes your words more special. I bet you have so many fascinating stories to tell and I'd love to hear them someday.

Paul

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I can't help feeling that this may refer to a split personality elP - one that has to be placated and accepted. Sometimes reality is made up of many layers, not to say threats.

Ray

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

Well thank you all, you lovely people.

Nat, thank you. I love your 'tres cool' comment.

David, thanks, so glad you enjoyed my debut. I feel a John Thomson Fast Show jazz sketch coming on! However, I think your rich, laid back tones would have sounded better reading this.

Col, thank you too. I really wanted to try to record a poem (especially as I haven't performed live yet) and, finally, I did. I so look forward to getting out there and performing - and with your encouragement I think I will. Ta!

Again, thank you one and all.

Paul

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I like that you enjoyed writing this Paul and it shows. It is hard to describe the experience of free flying in jazz - my own life has been a challenge at the keyboard and I know the ins and outs of effort involved - but to listen is to bleed sound from the veins of the greats.

Ray

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

thank you for your lovely comment..


Means alot.

x

Comment is about I Lied (blog)

Original item by Samual Jake

Jazztastic Rick. I imagine this would be a challenging one to get the best out of in a reading. Quite different for you I feel, but I do like variety and breadth !

Ray

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

A pretty accurate assessment of life after the second world ward, I guess Keith. A quick flashback to those times might bring some sanity into the world of over indulgence and expectations we now enjoy (for some that is). I recall looking forward to the one day a week when I got sweets!

Ray

Comment is about Just after... (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

very funny, and brilliantly read. ?

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Comment is about Army of pacifists (blog)

Original item by medamorfisis

Wow - that's nearly as surreal as the song...

Comment is about Lucy’s Lament (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

I saw the title and thought Australopithecus AL 288-1 aka "Dinkinesh" in Ethiopia which means "you are marvellous" according to Wikipedia. It's been a strange journey from learning to walk upright to taking LSD and not being able to walk and thinking we can fly.

Comment is about Lucy’s Lament (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Very kind, Natasha. The line about the turd in the swimming pool, I have to confess, is not original. I have reservations about its rhythm too which seems awkward.

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Melodious meThunks and well done on the audio you brave fella. Particularly liked:

drum lays down the beat
that pumps the bass
that drives the rhythm

Col

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Nice.
Heartfelt and honest. I'm sure you'll see him again. Hopefully in this life, rather than the next.

Cheers Kevin

Comment is about In this life or the next (blog)

Original item by Joanna S

Just keeping you abreast of the situation, MC.

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hehe yes I think a U turn would be a good idea ?

Thanks for your kind words Raj and for taking the time to read!

Comment is about In this life or the next (blog)

Original item by Joanna S

David - thanks for the comment. There is an unpleasant and unsettling aspect of diversity becoming the enemy
within. We can forget that others from less fortunate
origins tend to be less accommodating towards others
seeking the same avenues of escape and relief.

Comment is about CROYDON (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

As usual - certain to have me in fits...
John Coopey's discourse on dandling his tits!?

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks Graham, fingers crossed you will get slowly get into jazz.

Thanks David. Relaxing listening to jazz on a lovely spring day sounds (and is) idyllic. I hadn't realised that Miles Davis felt like that about the term jazz, that's sparked my interest in learning more about this.

Thanks chaps, much appreciated.

Paul

Edit - I've just added audio for this, my first WoL recording!

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I love the idea of using an art gallery cafe as a place for a liaison where the art is of secondary importance - perhaps a snub to the egos of some of the artists or a celebration to others. The layout of this poem is attractive - the ten line central verse almost verges on a description of a piece of performance art which in itself adds an interesting dimension to the whole piece.

Colin

Comment is about The Art of Cheating (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

Its fine to ask, its a metaphor, with the line that says, I will feel I have the world, because when "I am" manic, I do feel very happy and it's a self district as I have said, in so many words, but I do feel I have the world, not how you would interpret it maybe, but the world to me are my friends, family and home. hope that answers your question ? thank you for reading it.

Comment is about Manic (blog)

Original item by Samual Jake

Beautifully heartfelt. Write more. Thanks Keith

Comment is about luke bodkin (poet profile)

Original item by luke bodkin

hello again - I hadn't thought of the word 'bold' but it works well and if you like alliteration it would work well in front of those 'blue butterflies' especially as an opener - and you could make the other line 'little yellow buttercups' which is a rather lovely use of double letter sounds (tt/ll/tt).

Little touches like that draw the reader in without them realising and can be fun to work at. Looking forward to reading more from you when you get time.

All the best
Colin

Comment is about The Garden (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

Hi Collin,

Thanks for the feedback, I didn't consider the fragile element if I'm honest, I more described what I've seen and put it all in one. Very interesting perception of the garden.

I've amended the little a little. Hope it's a little better. ?

All the best
Aishah

Comment is about The Garden (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

Wayne, thank you for this poem which, I should imagine, is a poem which many a soul sings. Keith

Comment is about wayne jefferies (poet profile)

Original item by wayne jefferies

Hello David, Giovanni is a tribute to many bold hard working people who made a lasting impression on many others. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about David Subacchi (poet profile)

Original item by David Subacchi

I don't know "So long Marianne" I'll look it up ?
I don't usually write this sort of thing but it came to my head and so...
Glad it ain't too bad - it does not feel like mine but I wrote it so it must be ?
Looking at it now - the bit following the first "Goodbye Anais" could stand as a very cryptic piece on its own...

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Graham - I'd be more optimistic if we had to play them yet but 7 points means they've got to lose 3 times!
Ray - I'm of an age when I can remember "lift and separate".

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thank you. This is really good. I can relate to it. Keith

Comment is about The Inevitable Fall (blog)

Original item by old shoes

Hello Paul, the Innocents is beautifully crafted and so pertinent to what is now taking place in certain parts of the world. A sad but sensitive portrayal of tragedy. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Waring

There's an element of "So long Marianne" about this Rick.

I'm never very keen on the repetitive type poems, often feeling they work just as well without, but this has a poignancy although detached.

Very good work!

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Naughty but nice John. Down this neck of the woods we say Ant and Decs instead of pecs. Highly amusing and "uplifting."

Ray

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Gawd knows where this came from - there I was having a quiet cuppa - dunno if it'll survive a culling but hey ho ?

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Experience?

very intriguing stuff!

Good work!

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

Hope is always the last thing left in the box but the box will never be empty!

This is a good piece but I feel it loses something due to its rambling nature. It could do with cutting down by 50% to be more hard-hitting.

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Original item by iesha washington

I've never been close enough to Jazz to understand it. To me it's a foreign language. However this piece is jam-packed with the life of it, full of music.

It took me years to like coffee because I thought I ought to like it. I think Jazz might be the same.

Good work Paul!

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Boob Bard extraordinaire!

Well JC is it on or not this year?

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks - the tanka syllable protocol helps focus the mind - I do free verse but now and again feel a bit o'discipline cannot go amiss.

The main thrust of the pome is true - we had no children issuing from our brief liaison ?

Comment is about Donegal Eden (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

I have a lot of corridors with a lot of doors, some shut (locked/unlocked) some partially open and some wide open. To wander the corridors is relatively easy but the doors?

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

hello Aishah, I enjoyed your Garden very much but it made me think how fragile our world is - there are some creeping doubts when you write 'battered' / 'worried' / 'sadness' / 'fear' and 'we have a long way to go'. Indeed we certainly do have a long way to go to return our world to our Garden of Eden rather than the Garden of Evil we are rapidly creating.

I couldn't help but think of this song by New Riders of the Purple Sage and the chorus:
WE LIVE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, YEAH
DON’T KNOW WHY WE WANT TO TEAR
THE WHOLE THING TO THE GROUND

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6zOnMpLYxE

just a small point but maybe consider changing one of the 'little' words to avoid repetition. Thanks for posting Aishah.

All the best
Colin

Comment is about The Garden (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

elP, your work sounds very demanding. I hope you manage to find yourself again at weekends. Did I read a comment by you recently about possibly re-locating soon? If so, I sincerely hope it brings some respite on the work front.

Paul

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

elP, this brings to mind coping with the memory of painful experience, almost to the point of being able to see it through new eyes. I re-read it several times imagining it could relate equally to a range of emotions, e.g. anger, grief, depression or fear. I got the sense of eventually 'growing' as a result of the experience.

Paul

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

Thanks, Zaivee.

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Perhaps you want to take a U Turn Joanna.
I like the simple, honest rendition.

Keep them coming!
Raj

Comment is about In this life or the next (blog)

Original item by Joanna S