Hi David (Master of the metaphor) How do you think them up? There are very few good prose writers around. That's why I do rhyme.

Keep 'em coming. Ken.

Comment is about David T Jones (poet profile)

Original item by David T Jones

Hi Rich
A really good, if disturbing poem. So true of society and modern Life.
Everything seems to lean towards the immediate, the artificial nowadays doesn't it?
This is a well conceived and executed piece in my opinion.

Comment is about Society (blog)

Original item by Rich

Behold the house that modern thinking built:
You'll find it behind a sign that says "Guilt"! ?

Comment is about TAX EVASION (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks CBT and Jon.
The lines came to me just before I got up. Adding to
my belief that time spent in bed is seldom wasted!?

Comment is about AGE OLD CONCERN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Not sure if this is done...But wanted to post...

Comment is about All Dead (blog)

Original item by 220August

proud enough of them both eh Scott? so what are you waiting for? get emptying your credit card for them!

they'll love you for it....well for a few days at least!

parenthood...been there.

As to a revisit? no way!

good poem Pater.

P&S xx

Comment is about parenthood (blog)

Original item by Scott Villers-Stubbs

'Words evoke an image, they are so sublime'
Really well communicated piece again Phillip. Great message too. Would love to listen to a full set of your work.

Comment is about Power in the word # (blog)

Original item by Phils Words

Hiya Phillip
Loved this. Brought tears to my eyes. You have a fantastic voice for listening to. Full of depth and it conveys the message of the piece perfectly. Cheers too for recent comments on Remembering James. Much appreciated.

Comment is about Meet me there (blog)

Original item by Phils Words

Haha...great little ditty. Made me chuckle

Comment is about AGE OLD CONCERN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Very few poems cause me to shed tears but this one did. Beautifully written with unending love. Thank you for this. Keith

Comment is about A Picture of You (blog)

Original item by Pauliegreg

Cynthia, well said, well done and the bell of truth rings loud and clear. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about Worthless Women (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Ray
Great poem. I don't think there's a word in it that's not needed.
Really well executed in my opinion. Love this bit 'festivals bring back the hordes, with beer and burgers in place of swords'.

Comment is about FORTIFICATIONS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hi Maria
I really like this poem. Common emotions I guess when there's been a break up of some kind.
It's honest, worded just right and maybe the person feeling selfish has right to feel that way?
An intriguing piece.

Comment is about 18 (blog)

Original item by Maria Renea

Jon, David and Colin, Thank you for you comments and kind words of support which are greatly appreciated. I regard my fellow poets on Write our Loud with esteem and gratitude for their encouragement and friendship. You are a highly talented group of people in whose company I am honoured to be counted. Thank you again. Keith

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

yes, well said and well written Keith. More power to your pen and voice for standing up for the rights of all who have suffered prejudice. Col.

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Hi Colin,

Thanks for your comment, and the url. I have watched a pair of peregrine falcons hunting around the giant spire of St. James' Church in Louth, Lincs. for the last two years. They are breeding in the tower, and have full time CCTV surveillance. I cannot begin to understand why anyone would do anything but watch in awe. When I was there last year several photographers were trying to capture them in the stoop. Good luck there ...!

Chris

Comment is about Air Worthiness (blog)

Original item by Chris Hubbard

Lovely poem Keith, full of pain, pride and righteous disdain, beautifully handled

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Excellent poem Chris. Thanks for posting.

Raptor persecution in the UK is still sadly a big problem. Here's an interesting article.

https://raptorpersecutionscotland.wordpress.com/2017/11/24/satellite-tagged-hen-harrier-manu-disappears-in-north-pennines/

Colin.

Comment is about Air Worthiness (blog)

Original item by Chris Hubbard

Thank you Cynthia, wise words and it's good to hear them. I'm always open to learn more about this art.

Comment is about Dawn by the river (blog)

Original item by David T Jones

Hi Keith,
Proud of this poem. A strong, fearless proclamation that is I'm sure a common experience to many of us. I can sense the resilience and determination to rise above society's prejudice in this. Well done mate
Jon

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Ken, thank you for such an honest and sympathic comment to this poem. Your comment raises the issues of looking more closely as to who we really are and admitting some difficult truths. Thank you again. Keith

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Hi Keith.

Are those cursed with fetid dull conventional minds to be pitied for their inability to appreciate what they're missing out on? everyone (including the fetid dull) at sometime in their lives must have felt just more than friendship for someone of the same sex. The world will eventually be a much better place uncloseted.

A great piece from your natural sensitivity.

Ken

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

I'll really try to read more of your work, David. You have a sympathy with words, and people, and imagination. You're well equipped to write.

Comment is about David T Jones (poet profile)

Original item by David T Jones

Colin has made excellent points, and they were well received by David. I commend you both.

You have a deft touch, David, and imagination of association. IMO, I think that's the epitome of writing poetry. Also, that the last thing a serious poet does is look for the words to cast out, utterly. Or to find a better single word for two words. It's a hard lesson to learn, and even harder to exercise. But it works wonders.

Comment is about Dawn by the river (blog)

Original item by David T Jones

Not sure I understand all that, MC, but I am prepared to live with my hypocrisy for the greater good of a fairer society with more morality on paying tax.

Comment is about TAX EVASION (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi Keith.

Many thanks for your comment. Just my logical take on a soulless? once only existence.

Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)

Original item by keith jeffries

How is the dream developing?

Comment is about Rich (poet profile)

Original item by Rich

Much enjoyed.

Would you consider dropping 'Then, and only then.'
into a final line, like snapping a book shut?

Comment is about Society (blog)

Original item by Rich

Many thanks Cynthia.

This one is an updated rehash previously blogged. Crudely exposing me to be an 100% none believer.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Aishah, I'll try to catch up with more of your work. I do like your sample - excellent philosophy..

Comment is about Wonderer (poet profile)

Original item by Wonderer

Some good description in this, quite freshly put. 'For the fifth time' is a great teaser, engaging reader imagination. As is 'glorious and gruesome'. An interesting work.

Comment is about While I wait (blog)

Original item by Wonderer

I'll try to catch up with some more of your work, Mr. Bartram. Your Bio is very interesting.

Comment is about Mike Bartram (poet profile)

Original item by Mike Bartram

And that's why the role of grandparents is so rewarding. Not rushing it, mind you, but hoping those days will come to you. Getting through the 'teens' is the really hard part; one minute - more child than adult. The next - exactly the opposite. A good poem about a very real common experience.

Comment is about Magical Days (blog)

Original item by Mike Bartram

Welcome to WOL, Miranda. Interesting bio. I think the stream of consciousness of all minds is fascinating, neurotic or not. I'll try to check out some more of your works. Time is always at a premium.

Comment is about Miranda Fegan (poet profile)

Original item by Miranda Fegan

Different, and very compelling. Could apply to any 'job', since 'creativity' can be entirely by personal definition, even motherhood.

Comment is about Creative (blog)

Original item by Miranda Fegan

Cynthia, thank you for such a constructive response to my poem Disdain. As a young man prior legalisation in the UK life was intolerable. It was akin to being a Jew in Nazi Germany. The police were tasked to follow men to their homes in the hope of being able to arrest them. Then the press siezed on this. They lost their jobs and were disowned by families and friends. It was a grim existence and the result is bitterness. Gay people generally feel a great empathy for other persecuted minorites. I lost two jobs because of my sexuality and on both occasions it hit like a blow. Thank you again for your response. Keith

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Hello Keith
Thank you for your positive comment and kind words
I also read some of your poems, and I really like the
beautiful expression of feelings.
Kind regards
Artur

Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)

Original item by keith jeffries

Ditto.

(Brevity can work, too. Haha!)

Comment is about AGE OLD CONCERN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

You're in fine fettle this evening. A big subject tackled 'bigly'. Well put.

Comment is about THE RENEWABLE CYCLE (blog)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

Some points strongly and proudly made, with stringent emphasis. I like the general to the specific. Whether it is personal or not is immaterial.

One small suggestion: last line - with respect(as you know)

'on them and pity their fetid minds.'

With the word 'dull', full of 'llll' 'jettisoned - 'pity' and 'fetid' smack together, and the final thought hits like a blow.

Comment is about Disdain (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Fitzroy,Your command of the language is masterful. I shall need to read your poems over and over again to digest their full import. You are very accomplished. Thank you for this. Keith

Comment is about The Wind's Lament (blog)

Original item by fitzroy herbert

Poetry is one of the best, most everlasting ways to honor our loved ones. Great poem.

Comment is about The Last Night with Grandad. (blog)

Original item by Eva Elizabeth

Thank you for the lovely comments ?

Comment is about Jam Sandwiches (blog)

Original item by Eva Elizabeth

Ken, an excellent poem with humour and thought liberally interspersed. I enjoyed it enormously. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about THE RENEWABLE CYCLE (blog)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

JC - you have surely hit the nail on the head with your
"gulps of air" analogy. There is certainly the smack of
the green eyed goddess of envy in much of what is said.
Morality is such a useful word - so adaptable to circumstances and handy to imply "guilt" where the law
disagrees!
A fair society is an admirable target but that also means
give and take - not just give. Wealth creators and job
providers deserve proper respect and value for what they
enable whilst those who work on their behalf deserve a
proper wage for their skills and efforts. A government's
duty is to provide a safety net for those who are out of work but not to offer "time without limitation" sums to
those who should be enabled/encouraged to get work of
whatever sort to feed themselves and those they support.
Dependency of the long term sort is not a socially
acceptable scenario except in medically approved extreme circumstances that judge a person beyond any personal
ability to contribute to the work place - and thus to the
benefit of society as a whole.
Being unable to do one thing does not preclude the
ability or opportunity to do something else! Stephen
Hawking would never get work bricklaying but......!!

Comment is about TAX EVASION (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Good to see so many entries coming in for this already, folks! Well worth a few minutes of your time... ?

Comment is about Deadline nears for Wolf poetry competition (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks Colin, that's really valuable feedback, I'm going to try those edits to see how they fit. Most of the words you picked up on were there for rhythm or alliteration rather than to add meaning, maybe I'm trying too hard to be poetic? Great stuff to ponder, thanks again for being so considered thoughtful with your comments. David

Comment is about Dawn by the river (blog)

Original item by David T Jones

this works very well AVS and as David said - simple and poignantly moving. Thanks for posting. Colin.

Comment is about Favourite Shoes (blog)

Original item by Albert Van Skywalker

David, this is a lovely poem with a delicate touch and sensitivity which I very much like. I've read it through several times now and wondered if removing a few words would actually increase the impact without losing any of the dreamy quality: 'the bare', 'the' (before dark), 'clear' or 'empty', 'as' (before 'I reach'), 'and' (before 'see shadows'), 'slowly', 'day' (from 'daylight'), 'cold'.

'still' and 'bare' / 'clear' and 'empty' kinda say the same thing? 'cold' has already been implied?

see shadows shift in the gathering light - shadows tend to shift slowly so why insert 'slowly'? 'gathering light' in this context implies daylight so why insert 'day' when 'day' is also used in the following line which is imo the defining line in the poem and deserves full impact: 'Heartbreak is a hard one at daybreak'

just thoughts out loud David and suggestions to ponder. We all read poetry with different voices so my voice and reading is likely to be different to others. Anyways, thought I'd put my thoughts out there with all good will and best regards. All the best,

Col.

Comment is about Dawn by the river (blog)

Original item by David T Jones

Love this one Luke, very powerful storytelling and a great flow

Comment is about Love losses (blog)

Original item by Luke