Society

As an organism, I’m tied to natural

rhythms, natural scales, natural life cycles.

And I sit in my concrete home, watching sci-fi

LED technology, drinking a liquid

synthesised in a tank, which I’m not sure really

is an actual drink, although the flavour is

supreme.  So I wonder where does reality

come in?  That I am natural, I rely on

the sun to make my food, the air to breathe and fresh

water to sustain me.  I wonder when all the

pollution will fog out the sun or burn me up,

when my lungs will kill me or when there’s no longer

a treatment to make water safe.  Then I’ll regret

my self-centred, miss-spent life.  Then, and only then.

🌷 (3)

◄ Machine

Self Certainty ►

Comments

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Rich

Mon 27th Nov 2017 12:45

Hi Cynthia,

I just re-read this, and have corrected my mistakes!

Some of the lines didn't have 12 syllables.

Rich.

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Rich

Sat 25th Nov 2017 22:24

Hi Cynthia, Hi Jon - thanks for your comments. They are much appreciated.

We do live in an odd world, when you look at it from a certain perspective - we drink fizzy syrup when we're thirsty - not water.

Each line is 12 syllables (so long as I counted right) - which means I would keep the last line as it is, to maintain the structure.

Nice thought, though - and it would work.

Thanks again.

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Jon

Sat 25th Nov 2017 18:23

Hi Rich
A really good, if disturbing poem. So true of society and modern Life.
Everything seems to lean towards the immediate, the artificial nowadays doesn't it?
This is a well conceived and executed piece in my opinion.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Nov 2017 21:31

Much enjoyed.

Would you consider dropping 'Then, and only then.'
into a final line, like snapping a book shut?

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