Poetry Blogs (2019, light verse)

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No, I really don't care what Gail wrote on Facebook

“Ooh, have you seen what Gail's put on Facebook?”

“About Jade's Spanish lodger? Right made me giggle.”

“Bet you can guess what's underlined in her phrase book!”

“When I told our Kylie she fainted in Lidl.”

“She said, ‘well that explains the bar through her nipple! ‘“

“She definitely has. I've seen it full frontal.”

“So I guess the kids have another new uncle?”

“What has she be...

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There were only seven chicken meatballs in my pack of eight

This is my attempt at a true crime/romance/poetry crossover and it’s called “There were only seven chicken meatballs in my pack of eight”.

 

There were only seven chicken meatballs in my pack of eight

So I opened up my Macbook to send an email of complaint.

 

She said

    Look. You need to get a sense of perspective.

    It’s petty, it’s sad, and you sound like a git.

    P...

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Sandwich fillings: an elegy

Siberian kale with cherrystone clam

Bulgar, quinoa, and spicy brown mustard

Orange okra served with whiskey-roast ham

Red chard, leaf lard, and savoury custard

 

Avocado jam with relish of quince

Shaved black truffle with sourdough croutons

Sun dried tomatoes with guinea pig mince

Plantain wraps served on tiny oak futons

 

Sandwich menus leave me filled with remorse

...

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Morning Writing

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Morning Writing

 

I sit here by my window

And watch the birds out on the sill.

They are pecking at the seed

In the feeder, I just filled.

 

I sit here at my laptop

Trying hard to write a bit.

Words aren’t coming easy

As I slowly lose my wit.

 

I fix a pot of coffee

Then I drink a cup or two.

I sit and watch the birds some more

As I finish off my brew.

...

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I've Lost My Mind

Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!
I retraced my steps, back to front,
Checked my pockets... several times,

Looked around where I'd been outside,
And even rummaged through the garbage!
Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!

I've been everywhere thrice,
Even places I'm sure I never was,
And I've run out of places to search,
And, yet, it's nowhe...

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More whelks, Bishop?

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One of my favourite opening sentences in all the world is the opening line to Anthony Burgess’ novel Earthly Powers:

“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.”

Being not very well read, I haven’t actually read the book but I am sure it is rather good as the first sentence is stunning and mad...

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