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If

.
 If I knew, what anger was, it might look a bit like this…

I spend all day and half the night, trying to make stuff rhyme
Pondering over random words, then arrange them in a line
Hoping in some abstract sense, non-figurative stuff I figure
That will when read by others, engender comments that it triggers

Call me an old fuddy-duddy, a fossil , calcified in time
A dinosaur, a Dodo bird, or so...

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satirical poetry

Fifty Shades Of Freckle-Faced Dalek

i fell so hopelessly in love with a freckle-faced dalek
she was sitting in the park on a swing farouche alone
yet we got chatting and one thing naturally led to the other
so we rolled into a nearby quarry
where she plugged the scintillating us into a pylon
we mind-melded moons stars power-stations and suns
please don't feel envious of our cosmical abandon 
or this most unique slap-and-tickl...

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Dalek poetryDr Who poetryhumorous poetrypost-rock poetrysatirical poetrysci-fi poetry

Bleeding-Edge Prophet

(folks, this one is a bit of an epic, so have a cup of tea ready, or perhaps a few shots of vodka..)

 

And Lo
So let it be said
And let it also be written thus
And let it be passed down through the generations
Like rare unicorn musk..

There was once a man so wise
And this wise man was a very wise man
And he did offer me deeply learned counsel
And he did point to a very far away place
Way over there b...

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humorous poetrypost-rock poetrysatirical poetry

That Inevitable Question

A handful of commuters,
On the platform,
Waiting,
Were waiting,

A man -
Some bloke,
Walked past me,
And up to the self-service confectionery machine,
And started making noises: huh! huh! hoohauuh! hooh-hoh!

So..
I asked myself that inevitable question:
Should I turn around?

Should I turn around?
Do I really need to see why this man -
This bloke -
Is making these strange noises?

I decid...

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humorous poetrypost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

The Transcendentalist

So the scents of pre cornflake sex
And post energy drink breath
Pervades the carriage like a squid squadron infusion..

Acrid lemon bleach musk cologne
Tinkly-plink-thud beats effervesce from earphones
She leans arching on the glass pane knackered
Eye-liner Rothko remastered
Her groin marine satyr
Not so lucky a bastard
She receives a sext from another torpedo piece of spam with pecs
Nigh...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourlyricspost rockpost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Duty Of Care - Extreme Combat

  Staff Notice  


Dear all
Please take this refresher advice as a friendly reminder
Of our protocol for calling in sick
Which is  

In the first instance call the shift supervisor
Inform them why you are unable to attend your shift
Be as clear as possible
The more information the better 
We don't need to hear a blues lyric
Only the truth
This information will of course remain co...

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humorhumorous poetryhumorous versehumourparody poetrypost rockpost rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangleswork

In-Love Doggerel

You're a starship powered on Xanadu nectar;
I'm a pogo stick on coal.
You're a majestic arc of the milky way;
I'm a quark in an unsold cheese roll.
Your eyes launch songbirds and sonnets;
Come fly with me on my crackling comet.

Your hair evokes the erotic scents of perfumed night bazaars;
I exude burning tyres on torched, smashed deisel cars.
Beside you a pulsar is like a sorry matchstick ...

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humorhumourhunorous poetrylyricparody poetrypost rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Poem of the Week

(Inspired by Write Out Loud's discussion thread: Poem of the Week)

So
This week
It can be announced Gong-Ka-Bong
That this poem
Is Poem of the Week
Art 
Love
And a celebration of the communing with our etheric higher sense
Amen
So
Let us join together
And let the blood-letting commence

Observe the cowering bastards sit on the fence
Poets can be a vicious breed
Almost as obnoxiou...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourPoem of the weekpost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Forest Gate Mystery Train (Spoken Word)

https://youtu.be/Qov_y6PMrw8

I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
With my burgled geranium eyes.
I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
Sighing goldfish clock sardine spies.

Spammed atomic; trolleyed marine,
Frost-buckled arms glow margarine,
Slender dolls slalom offside knees,
Capsules backslide into the stalagmite City.

Tutankhamen consortia;
Shoulder-penguins soggy cadge the dappled...

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gonzo poetryhumorhumorous poetryhumourlyricspost rock poetrysatirical poetrysongSuki Spangles

I Am The World's First Selfie Poem

I am the world's first selfie poem,
Held aloft by the world's first selfie poem stick,
A look-at-me wordsmith pic,
Here I am fluttering beside Tower Bridge.

So here I pose on the left bank;
Here I'm by the Eiffel Tower,
Here I selfie seductively next to the shower.
Ignore the bidet -
Admire my framed parchment hanging above a plastic flower
pot.

Here I am analysed by a poet I barely know...

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humorhumorous versepost rock poetrysatirical poetryselfieSuki Spangles

I'm Going To Write A Poem About You


Childish I'm sure
But the way that pavement cyclist 
Pedestrian-pranged me his signature 
I became his press-ganged human speed-bump
Suffering concrete-kissing discomfiture
Well he certainly deserved nothing less
than the back hand of my pierian
So as the pebble-assed smurf pelted away
Revolving dalek camera on his pompous high viz head
I brushed myself down
Bracing myself for what I a...

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humorous poetrylyricsperformance poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

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