Fifty Shades Of Freckle-Faced Dalek

i fell so hopelessly in love with a freckle-faced dalek
she was sitting in the park on a swing farouche alone
yet we got chatting and one thing naturally led to the other
so we rolled into a nearby quarry
where she plugged the scintillating us into a pylon
we mind-melded moons stars power-stations and suns
please don't feel envious of our cosmical abandon 
or this most unique slap-and-tickle trippy phenomenon 
for this e.t didn't wish to phone home..

she moved in with me
and things were wonderful for a while
yes occasionally she earnestly shot people's heads off 
kind of endearing actually
i affected not to notice 
well they say love is blind
after all she ignored my silly elastic skin
my strange pores and what she termed my louche pacifism
such an unspoken tender idyllic understanding blossomed 
we reached out for the most sensualist transmundane draw
bodice-ripping barbara cartland sci-fi booty-call and more..

the twitching of the sans net-curtained windows
caterwauling nosey neighbour trolling 
ding-dong meer cats door-mat mythologising
their aghast goggle-eyed lurid smirkings so unbecoming
how will this affect property prices mohammed
what will the estate agents think
atavistic kitchen sink moralist effrontery
sawn-off cabbage-fangled ferret-tadpole hobbity 
never an empathetic thought offered 
for her biomorphic davrosian psychopathology
as so effortlessly she floated nonchalantly on by 
like a flake advert only with a killed people admixture 
'twas still fairly classy though
and we all have our own issues don't we
beam in your own eye..

when she whispered exterminate in bed
her buttons twirled ultramarine catherine wheels
her head span 360
the ceiling fluoresced and iridesced bellatrix tropical fish starlight
hot ectoplasm dripped over burnished steel
have you ever seen a dalek orgasm in high-heels
the high-heels were ruined but oh..oh the memories
she popped my love-making-with-an-alien cherry..

she left skaro on a sabbatical
she hid her saucer 'neath an abandoned bouncy castle
she sucked up noodles through her nozzle
but she didn't like biscuits
neither do i
she described herself as a flexitarian vegan 
because she mostly eschewed paltry human beings
what a relief
so you can see why we had so much in common
it was fate or something like..

the dalek equivalent of barry white music
wafted from her woofers
the loose living ever enveloping
illicit polyester duvet/rare metal sheet loving
almost every week i was phoning in unwell 
so at twilight i could read her my poems
while she pertly upskirted wheelie bins
and lasered garden gnomes and passers by
she dropped olives in my mouth
as i stroked battery acid on her thighs
she tore off my hazmat suits
all strewn carelessly on bewildered neighbours' plastic-palace roses
what's not to like..

inevitably i suppose
you know how these things go
the cracks first started to show
first on the walls then by the fused wiring
after she exploded the washing machine
a wayward experiment in tantric appliance canoodling 
the damage wasn't covered by insurance alas
as i didn't have the foresight 
to take out fully comprehensive lustful-dalek damage cover
my bad not hers ~ 
my dimpled dappled whirling phase-shifter lover
another time she tore off the cooker lining wore it like a tiara
all very f. scott fitzgerald
i fell so hopelessly in love 
so mesmerised as i stroked her ribbon-banged bangled bevels
couldn't help myself..

we broke up after a silly argument
the knock-on-effect of her untamed hormonal diode-net
i caught her lap-dancing saucily beneath a belisha beacon
seduced by its brazen winking halterneck flirting light 
i admit as she stopped traffic then and there
for she found the essence of its orb so rare
my jealousy weaselled away unprepared
how dare she flirt with an inanimate object
i didn't understand at the time..

so it was with a teary but amicable end
i waved her farewell as her saucer lifted 
i receive a telepathic postcard from her once in a while
last heard she's living with a lunar lamp-shade-puffin
and an outlaw band of procyon sasquatch munchkins
pirating turkey-rooster orgonite tankers near the badlands of orion..

oftentimes i daydream about her fondly 
her electroshock so foxy
i yearn to join her amazing escapades 
racing her light-ship of anthracite
she took the bouncy castle with her
now floating upside-down on a martian river
out there somewhere she's repurposing pylons
and lassoing meteorites..


post-rock poetryhumorous poetrysci-fi poetryDr Who poetryDalek poetrysatirical poetry

◄ Confession: Feeding Cornflakes To A Deceased Nun Is Easy If You Don't Know What You're Doing

Ascension To Prophecy ►


Profile image

suki spangles

Thu 19th Jul 2018 23:37

Hi Sal,

Thanks so much for your kind words and feedback. A little bit of sci-fi fun. Dr Who had some good monsters, but even as a kid, I always found daleks to be just plain funny.

Cheers again!


Big Sal

Thu 19th Jul 2018 02:35

If I want to learn history, then I read an encyclopedia. If I need to touch up on vocabulary or poetic diction, then I read Suki Spangles.? Well done. Again.

Profile image

suki spangles

Wed 11th Jul 2018 12:00

Hi there Martin,

Hope you're keeping well, and thanks so much for your feedback.

No, I didn't watch the telethon. Really the idea just sprang from the first two lines that just popped into my head, and I kind of rolled with it.

Glad you enjoyed.


Profile image

Martin Elder

Tue 10th Jul 2018 14:56

Suki this is absolutely wonderfully fantastic. It is so beautifully funny and surreal. I just wondered if you were attracted by the incredible amount of Dalek bumps as described in the children in need episode of Dr Who with Jonathan Pryce as the master.
Thanks for sharing this it has certainly brightened my day
Cheers mate

Profile image

suki spangles

Sun 8th Jul 2018 22:48

Dear Col, Pat and Ray,

Cheers so much for taking the time to read. It makes it all worthwhile.

This first two lines of this poem just popped into my head, and I wrote them on a post-it note in case I forgot.
Anyway, long story short, I worked on this when I could grab snatches of time here and there, and this is the end result. Had great fun writing this one. Glad you all enjoyed.

Have a fab week!


Pat Hughes

Sun 8th Jul 2018 00:37

Love it! Clever and funny,I'm just a tad jealous.

Profile image


Sat 7th Jul 2018 23:18

Suki you pose a threat to our sanity in trying to comment, as there are so many strands to engage us. Obviously you are in familiar territory here and you throw the book at it. I am cowed by your talent - a rare and gorgeous treat as always. I think it is a temptation you have avoided to make the daleks scary as they were supposed to be! There's a touch of Yellow Submarine in this for me.


<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 7th Jul 2018 09:35

wonderful genius writing Suki with so many exquisite references that sends the mind running off down side roads - a real wordy treat as we've come to love and expect from you. By heck man you set a high standard. Cheers, Col.

Profile image

suki spangles

Sat 7th Jul 2018 07:03

Dear all,

Cheers so much for your feedback!

Stu ~ my dalek sketch for yours. Feast your eyes on this:

Hannah ~ thanks so much for your continued support here. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Hazel ~ you've made me blush! Not sure what else to say. Didn't know that daleks predicative text does that. How funny!

Brian ~ I always wondered about that: how are daleks so deadly when they aren't even able to climb a step?The newly-fangled daleks can float in the air now, apparently. They probably have airbags and reverse cameras too, no doubt!

Thanks all!


Profile image

Stu Buck

Thu 5th Jul 2018 23:44

wonderful as ever suki and now all i want to do is watch the spike milligan sketch 'pakistani dalek' which i shall paste below as its a blinder.


Profile image

Hannah Collins

Thu 5th Jul 2018 21:49

This is amazing.
Your fantastic use of language and imagery, so many lines are gems.
A joy to read.
Love it !


Profile image

Hazel ettridge

Thu 5th Jul 2018 20:16

This is the best thing I've read in ages. Its cool, funny, epic, clever, poetic, imaginative, weird, intelligent and completely bonkers (cos we all know that daleks are male). And i love that predictive text turns daleks into flakes.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Thu 5th Jul 2018 18:10

Do you llive in a bungalow Suki?

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message