You'll expect (of course) that I hope they get their butts kicked today John! Perhaps calling a spade a spade is the least apt, but most fitting phrase.
Well put.
Regards,
A.E.
Comment is about Racist Is As Racist Does (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Very clever and apt metaphorical title, which moves seamlessly into the poem itself. Some subtly made, almost subconscious connections between words - "waves " and "sea" for instance. The imagery is potent throughout; the intimate detais of a mother packing a son's everyday items - imbued with love and foreboding. The palpable sense of both fear and impending loss, the inconclusive emptiness of the closure . . . I could continue (but I won't - that's enough plaudits for one poem - you'll get too cocky!)
Excellent well crafted work.
(Incidentally, I could have given you first-hand technical advice on the title's premise!)
Regards,
A.E. x :)
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
My effort - emailed to relevant address:
Someone gave me a gift today -
it didn't have wrapping or bright shiny bows.
It wasn't a gift in the usual way,
Not a scarf or a hat or warm winter clothes,
but it made me feel warm in the same kind of way,
from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
Well I liked it so much that I gave it away
to make someone else warm, because everyone knows
it doesn't cost much and it lasts quite a while,
so make someone happy - and give them a smile!
Great project for a very fitting cause. Wishing you every success.
Regards,
A.E.
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Tonight's guest is Mike Hilton, Rod is next months guest
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 28 Oct 2012 (event)
Sorry tonight's guest is Mike Hilton. Rod is next months guest. Sorry my mistake
Comment is about Rod Whitworth at Write Out Loud Middleton (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
steve mellor
Sun 28th Oct 2012 10:50
Here's todays effort for the tree (which I have emailed direct to the school)
Mum & Dad
Mum and Dad, they love me loads
They clean up all my mess,
They say they’d love me more
If I made a little less.
Mum and Dad, they serve up food,
Some I really hate,
They say they’d love me more
If I ate what’s on my plate.
Mum and Dad say they know best,
They tell me what to do,
They never ask what I would like
Not fair, I think, do you?
Mum and Dad are superstars,
The best I’ve come across,
I let them think that they’re in charge,
But I know who’s the boss.
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
lol, indeed. But you may now be infected so you could have another attack at any moment :-)
Win x
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Glad you likie - my experimental stage didn't last long, did it? :)) x
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
I never know whether to thank individually or on poem so normally end up doing a mixture of both. I've changed the second verse - hope it sits better now. Thanks for taking the time to comment. x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Tis done - I've altered the second verse. I may yet add to it - cos I don't think it says enough.
Yes Ann - I think some boys are more equipped for war than others. In some senses we send a child to war as soon as they leave for independent life.
Thank you everyone - it's the first thing I've written in a long time so I'm happy people like it.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Yes Win - I stayed at Lumb Bank when I attended the performance poetry course there last year. I didn't get any cake though! A wondeful place though I did find that wooded hill opposite a bit oppressive (no pleasing some people!)
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
<Deleted User> (10666)
Sun 28th Oct 2012 09:43
Thanks for the kind words about my piece Ann, glad you like it!
I've obviously got a backlog of material, so I'll put them up on blog posts when I have the time, and let you know!
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Hi Ann glad you liked my owliness. Actually Ann, I had just had, possibly one of the best pieces of cake in my life! Chocolate and ginger. We were stood on the lawn terrace of Lumb Bank, Ted and Sylvia Plath's house looking at the autumn trees in an amazing view down Colden valley. Win x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
tony sheridan
Sun 28th Oct 2012 08:01
Beautiful and moving. Take care, Tony.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Wonderful poem Isobel. Made me think of my son - he'd be the first to fall I'm sure - thank god he doesn't have to! I don't think I could bear to see him going off to war. Really powerful poem. (The platform line did jar - that's the only thing to detract from it for me.) xx
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Hi Jade - a warm welcome to WOL. I see you've been given quite a bit of advice already! All of it good :)
Hope to see more of your work on here soon!
Comment is about Jade (poet profile)
Original item by Jade
Don't forget to change your clocks! Don't show up at the wrong time x
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 28 Oct 2012 (event)
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 27th Oct 2012 22:06
We enjoyed this Tony,albeit aimed
at a particular person?
Hope you dont mind us pointing out
that it might be best to use either
'sometimes' or 'always' in the first part
not both.
And same applies to first line,second part-
leave 'now' out as it clashes with 'sometimes'
Good poem nevertheless
despite our nitpicking-
(done on a friendly basis of course!)
Best regards.
P.&S..xx
Comment is about However it may seem. (blog)
tony sheridan
Sat 27th Oct 2012 21:52
Thanks for your comment Tom. I'm going to try to improve it some more but I'm glad you liked it as it is. I think in performance that second verse probably wouldn't seem weak - you can't get away with anything on the page though, can you? :)
Comment is about Tom Harding (poet profile)
Original item by Tom Harding
tony sheridan
Sat 27th Oct 2012 21:40
Nice one! Keep on making me laugh! Take care, Tony.
Comment is about "Bryan "and the lioness (blog)
Original item by hugh
Jade many thanks for your kind comments on my site... I always forget that I leave links up so its particularly kind when people leave comments like that. Happy to send you the book- i wrote it in 30 days so don't expect much!
Enjoying your poetry, u have some work to be proud of!
Comment is about Jade (poet profile)
Original item by Jade
Agree this is wonderfully executed...
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
<Deleted User> (10679)
Sat 27th Oct 2012 20:30
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your interest in our project.
As WOL have a policy to gain permission before any of your poems can be used, we need you to give us that permission and the easiest way would be for you to send your poems to the web address we have set up for this purpose.
kingwilliam@kingsland.wakefield.sch.uk
I'm sorry to labour this point but as it's for school we have to do things by the book.
On a lighter note if anyone would like to come and try our poetry chair all it will cost is a poem or two.
We have already had four prospective suitors, two of which are from WOL, Steve and Fred and hopefully Margaret will be our third.
Once again we would like to thank you for your support.
Jacquie
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
I think the 1st and 3rd verses are excellent.
for you would be the first to fall - great line, I can hear many a Mom saying that.
These are the weak lines, I think.
amid the tumult
of her platform
trying to be more
Maybe you could employ some echo of the full enough kit bag in the mother's eyes or heart.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
A moving poetic performance,you had me in a spin.Well done!
Comment is about Dancing (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
steve mellor
Sat 27th Oct 2012 19:19
Francine
If possible, could you email your piece to the address Julain gave above kingwilliam@kingsland.wakefield.sch.uk
I'm sure Jacquie (and the children) would appreciate it
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
I am loving this project!
Here is mine...
Please and thank you
Please and thank you
words that impress
if only you knew
lead to success
The importance
of etiquette
will take you far
just one minute
and there you are !
Francine
(Oct. 2012)
©
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Hello Steve.
Thanks for commenting on "Cat Nap".
You're not the first not to recognise my copies!
Comment is about steve pottinger (poet profile)
Original item by steve pottinger
Sid,
Glad you liked "Cat nap". I realise how poor it is in relation to the original.
Comment is about Ray Miller (poet profile)
Original item by Ray Miller
Hello again, MC.
Just noticed your comments on "Cat Nap". A shame you're not familiar with the original "Rat Trap". It really is very good and doesn't deserve to be so poorly parodied.
On another level, I wonder what sub-conscious machinations were going on my head. (We have just moved my dad into a home).
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
What ho, AE!
Thanks for your thoughts on "Karma".
I might have to leave the philosophical observations to you and Harry (et al who commented). I'd just like to think that there's a bucket-load of skunk shit heading the way of that bus driver.
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Whoa! Here I am again! Sorry for the repetition.
Comment is about Jade (poet profile)
Original item by Jade
Hello Jade
Thankyou for commenting on "Karma". Just as you say above "I'm not really a poet", so too I'm not at all a philosopher. I just hope the b*st**d who drenched me gets his!
Comment is about Jade (poet profile)
Original item by Jade
Hello Jade
Thankyou for commenting on "Karma". Just as you say above "I'm not really a poet", so too I'm not at all a philosopher. I just hope the b*st**d who drenched me gets his!
Comment is about Jade (poet profile)
Original item by Jade
MC - What Ho!
Thanks for your thoughts on "Karma". It really was three true stories woven into one.
I didn't expect a philosophical response though!
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Many thanks for your thoughts on "Karma".
I must say I was a bit surprised at the high level of philosophy the blog prompted. I did read Philosophy at University but didn't understand it then so I've no chance now my faculties are going! All I know is I hope the bastard that splashed me gets is come uppance.
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Powerful and moving poem of maternal love, Isobel. I particularly liked the third stanza ... "lumbering to no-man's land" ... "the shift in sand" ... "that final wake-up call". Wasn't sure about the line "trying to be more" ...?
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 27th Oct 2012 09:45
We were going dizzy
just reading this
whirly gig of a poem Steve.
Cheers from th'old dears.xx
Comment is about Dancing (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
ps I'm only joking Steve. I think it's probably a bit too revolting to read to children or have hanging on a poetry tree. Most people have more delicate stomachs than mine :)
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
I've always been very fortunate that my kids never picked their noses - but millions do - in schools everywhere - even 10/11 year olds - and many don't seem to be at all embarrased doing it. I think we should spearhead a campaign to stop it and your snot tree could be put to such good use!
Snot Right
Pinkies don't belong up noses
just as much as tongues and toesies
so don’t unpack your trunk and flick
or spear and smear or wipe and lick
Desist! Resist! Go find a tissue
And don’t let bogies be an issue
Isobel M
(Oct. 2012 - Go write your own snot poem)
C
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Steve,
I think I can match yours for "level".
What I Told My Daughter As She Left For University
I thought I'd give you some advice
now you're leaving home
To guide you through your future life
where ever you may roam:
Wise words, though, have eluded me,
this rhyme will have to do,
"Always check the toilet roll
before you start your poo".
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
darren thomas
Sun 28th Oct 2012 15:11
"Stepping from the title (of a poem) to the first lines is like stepping into a canoe. A lot of things can go wrong.” Billy Collins.
not in this case.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel