darren thomas
Mon 29th Oct 2012 09:26
Dear Mr A.E
I am just writing on behalf of me and my black dog to thank you for your consistent and positive comments about our writing. There is a certain beauty in both sadness and despair that should never be ignored!
Yours sincerely
dt
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Yes - people can be racist in thought as well as deed. I don't think that just because we don't do anything it makes it any better. Entrenched racist views would still be handed down, parent to child.
Graham is right that we are all guilty to some degree. There is racism, where minority groups are the victim, inverted racism, where members of a minority group might despise a majority group. And just look at the Indian caste system and the relationship between some Indians and Pakistanis.
It does sometimes become difficult to express yourself without tripping over people's fear of racism. In fact, even by joining in a thread like this, you fear you may be embroiling yourself in a whole lot of trouble.
Comment is about Racist Is As Racist Does (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Philipos
Mon 29th Oct 2012 08:51
Hi Greg, 'The Pit Stop' have added a sizeable chunk on that blog. Appreciate your taking the time to comment. Many thanks.
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Miss, Missy, Mademoiselle, Ms. Madame,
Petite Emmerdeuse Préférée, La Reine de Tout, Professor…
In response to your question – je ne sais pas. We have discussed this before. Feel free to deposit gumpf via e-mail if you prefer ; )
xx
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Yes - it probably comes down to how you read it. I'm more of a performance poet - how you read a line makes a huge difference to the sound. You can't control how people read a poem though. A few extra lines would also probably have reinforced the visual image - I think I was running out of steam though.
When are you going to get your profile re-instated Mrs? I could have written all this gumf on your profile x
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
For this week we only have a 4 hour time difference!
(random observation - I know!)
The more I read it (and because I know what you want to say - the image you are projecting) - the more I am fine with it now - I just had to really strive to visualise...
xx
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Sorry Francine - I misunderstood you. I'm glad for anyone to state what they think honestly on my poems. If I agree and it's something that's also bothered me I sometimes try to change things - it depends on how much the poem means to me. I didn't spend a lot of time writing the last two lines. There are probably better ways of expressing the vision I had in my mind. I think you reach a point in a poem when you've had enough of looking at it though and you just want to move on.
I'm very grateful for all feedback positive and otherwise. Good critique can really help improve a poem - just a few tweeks - a few small words can make such a huge difference to the whole.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Philipos
Sun 28th Oct 2012 22:44
Hi Laura, just spotted this & enjoyed it for the clever overall imagery. 'Stripey lumpen dough' eh? Whatever next! Well done.
Comment is about Bed (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Well, an interesting night at the Ringers. Good people, good poetry, good opinions......good differences of opinion. A healthy expression of differing views...proves that poets DO have a voice and can stir emotions. More please. Throw more, bigger, HEAVIER stones into life's lake and make those ripples spread, touch everybody and wake them from apathy. THAT'S WHAT ART IS ALL ABOUT!! Well done the poets at the Ring 'o' Bells!!
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 28 Oct 2012 (event)
As always, Isobel, I understood what you meant - I think it was the way those three lines that I pointed out were worded for me.
As with anything, we all interpret things differently and have our own opinions. I was just stating mine quite honestly.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
tony sheridan
Sun 28th Oct 2012 22:19
Nice one. Take care, Tony.
Comment is about SIXTY YEARS (blog)
I suppose what I was getting at in this vignette is that
1 There is no intrinsic, corporeal characteristic within us which makes us a thief or a killer or a racist
2 We are those things by virtue of what we do not what we are
3 If this were not so we would imprison people who had not committed crimes but were predisposed to committing them
4 It is therefore bollocks to say someone is not racist but happened to say or do racist things
5 Of course, it was much quicker to write the vignette.
Comment is about Racist Is As Racist Does (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I used a chinese takeaway box. Simples!!
Comment is about How can a blind person use the NHS bowel cancer screening kit? (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Excellent mother`s poem Isobel.
Very impressive final stanza.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Great work Isobel. Never try to explain too much. Leave the interpretation to others. Don't be too long coming back again. Graham
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
I think to some degree we're all racists, whatever that definition means. I just wish we could (all of us) accept it.
Comment is about Racist Is As Racist Does (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
John,
Back from Scotland (with a stiff neck and minor eye-op tomorrow)
You link minor misdemeanours with the more serious worry about your lack concerning your dad...They are not comparable really but the logical link is there.
This sort of highly personal `conscience` and fear of desert cannot really be appeased by Anthony`s hive instinct, or the survival of the species, as though humans are merely animals. Apart from our beloved families I really don`t think it matters a hoot to us that the solar system has a finite life, only when we are personally faced with the fin....The real realisation is that, in the end, there is no flight.
...and what comes after?...No amount of encouragement to `bear it for the good of the race` will wipe away that fear.
As I said: The strength of personal conscience is a good place from which to begin thinking of what life is all about.
Comment is about Karma (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
The last one that I will post...
My individuality
Living in my own wonderland
They just don’t seem to understand
I would really want them to see
My glee, my personality
The hidden gems, lying, waiting
Emanating, fascinating
Appreciate all I can be
My individuality
Francine
(Oct. 2012)
©
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
steve mellor
Sun 28th Oct 2012 20:08
Hugh
Many thanks for the positive comment on Mum and Dad. It was written for a very special reason, but unusual for me, as I have never really written specifically for children before
If you have anything that you could contribute to the scheme shown on the front page of the site (Kingsland School) please do so
Comment is about hugh (poet profile)
Original item by hugh
Well I'm loving reading these - I do hope other people join in. It's quite a challenge writing for children - something I've never consciously done before. I'm going to send a poem my daughter wrote age 10 - it might inspire a few youngsters to have a go - also to realise that poetry doesn't always have to rhyme - though I must admit, kids seem to prefer it when it does.
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Thanks everyone - there can be no higher praise than having a quote from Billy Collins used in conjunction with positive critique :)
Francine, you've picked up on a valid point. As Anthony mentioned earlier, I've used imagery that suits dual purpose. The dawn might seem like an unusual ending but it kind of ties in with the idea of dawning - as in coming to the realisation of something.
It's well documented that boys dying on the battlefield often did so calling out for their mothers. I tried to imagine a scenario where a child might express feelings that they'd held back - come to some kind of final realisation. I hope it works for you with that interpretation.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 28th Oct 2012 18:18
I love the images this evokes. The second verse conveys what you wanted to say so much better now.
Having trouble with the ending though - love the last two lines, just not sure how they fit in with these...
'finding the bullets you never fired
like the words you never found
blood bound to bitten lip'
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Some wonderful messages to teach and reinforce through poetry : )
Keep them coming!
Sometimes…
Sometimes I feel I want to scream
People can often be so mean
Instead, I smile back at them
Melting their hearts and anger too
Yes, this is what I want to do !
Francine
(Oct. 2012)
©
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
A fitting epitaph for one who took life without mercy when the GPs of my youth probably used that as the best possible reason.
Comment is about The wreck of Shipman (blog)
Original item by hugh
darren thomas
Sun 28th Oct 2012 15:11
"Stepping from the title (of a poem) to the first lines is like stepping into a canoe. A lot of things can go wrong.” Billy Collins.
not in this case.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
You'll expect (of course) that I hope they get their butts kicked today John! Perhaps calling a spade a spade is the least apt, but most fitting phrase.
Well put.
Regards,
A.E.
Comment is about Racist Is As Racist Does (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Very clever and apt metaphorical title, which moves seamlessly into the poem itself. Some subtly made, almost subconscious connections between words - "waves " and "sea" for instance. The imagery is potent throughout; the intimate detais of a mother packing a son's everyday items - imbued with love and foreboding. The palpable sense of both fear and impending loss, the inconclusive emptiness of the closure . . . I could continue (but I won't - that's enough plaudits for one poem - you'll get too cocky!)
Excellent well crafted work.
(Incidentally, I could have given you first-hand technical advice on the title's premise!)
Regards,
A.E. x :)
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
My effort - emailed to relevant address:
Someone gave me a gift today -
it didn't have wrapping or bright shiny bows.
It wasn't a gift in the usual way,
Not a scarf or a hat or warm winter clothes,
but it made me feel warm in the same kind of way,
from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
Well I liked it so much that I gave it away
to make someone else warm, because everyone knows
it doesn't cost much and it lasts quite a while,
so make someone happy - and give them a smile!
Great project for a very fitting cause. Wishing you every success.
Regards,
A.E.
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Tonight's guest is Mike Hilton, Rod is next months guest
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 28 Oct 2012 (event)
Sorry tonight's guest is Mike Hilton. Rod is next months guest. Sorry my mistake
Comment is about Rod Whitworth at Write Out Loud Middleton (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
steve mellor
Sun 28th Oct 2012 10:50
Here's todays effort for the tree (which I have emailed direct to the school)
Mum & Dad
Mum and Dad, they love me loads
They clean up all my mess,
They say they’d love me more
If I made a little less.
Mum and Dad, they serve up food,
Some I really hate,
They say they’d love me more
If I ate what’s on my plate.
Mum and Dad say they know best,
They tell me what to do,
They never ask what I would like
Not fair, I think, do you?
Mum and Dad are superstars,
The best I’ve come across,
I let them think that they’re in charge,
But I know who’s the boss.
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
lol, indeed. But you may now be infected so you could have another attack at any moment :-)
Win x
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Glad you likie - my experimental stage didn't last long, did it? :)) x
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
I never know whether to thank individually or on poem so normally end up doing a mixture of both. I've changed the second verse - hope it sits better now. Thanks for taking the time to comment. x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Tis done - I've altered the second verse. I may yet add to it - cos I don't think it says enough.
Yes Ann - I think some boys are more equipped for war than others. In some senses we send a child to war as soon as they leave for independent life.
Thank you everyone - it's the first thing I've written in a long time so I'm happy people like it.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Yes Win - I stayed at Lumb Bank when I attended the performance poetry course there last year. I didn't get any cake though! A wondeful place though I did find that wooded hill opposite a bit oppressive (no pleasing some people!)
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
<Deleted User> (10666)
Sun 28th Oct 2012 09:43
Thanks for the kind words about my piece Ann, glad you like it!
I've obviously got a backlog of material, so I'll put them up on blog posts when I have the time, and let you know!
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Hi Ann glad you liked my owliness. Actually Ann, I had just had, possibly one of the best pieces of cake in my life! Chocolate and ginger. We were stood on the lawn terrace of Lumb Bank, Ted and Sylvia Plath's house looking at the autumn trees in an amazing view down Colden valley. Win x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
tony sheridan
Sun 28th Oct 2012 08:01
Beautiful and moving. Take care, Tony.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Wonderful poem Isobel. Made me think of my son - he'd be the first to fall I'm sure - thank god he doesn't have to! I don't think I could bear to see him going off to war. Really powerful poem. (The platform line did jar - that's the only thing to detract from it for me.) xx
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Hi Jade - a warm welcome to WOL. I see you've been given quite a bit of advice already! All of it good :)
Hope to see more of your work on here soon!
Comment is about Jade (poet profile)
Original item by Jade
Don't forget to change your clocks! Don't show up at the wrong time x
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 28 Oct 2012 (event)
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 27th Oct 2012 22:06
We enjoyed this Tony,albeit aimed
at a particular person?
Hope you dont mind us pointing out
that it might be best to use either
'sometimes' or 'always' in the first part
not both.
And same applies to first line,second part-
leave 'now' out as it clashes with 'sometimes'
Good poem nevertheless
despite our nitpicking-
(done on a friendly basis of course!)
Best regards.
P.&S..xx
Comment is about However it may seem. (blog)
tony sheridan
Sat 27th Oct 2012 21:52
Nigel Astell
Mon 29th Oct 2012 12:15
Standing together
Love bound
Two against
All odds
Reads well.
Comment is about Wedding Day (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan