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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:53

Awww... so true...

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Moxy Casimir

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:49

Groovy, funny, riotous and vivid -- wishing you many more inspirational nights out!

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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:47

I connect especially with these lines:

'as it all pours out
alongside
someone special
in which to share'


'we could take turns
crying
just as long as we share
something like this
tenderness
make special memories
no matter what the pain.'

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Moxy Casimir

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:46

Love the words grabbing you like white noise: this piece is so exuberant it flies off the screen. Long live your freedom in poetry!

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Moxy Casimir

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:41

Something Kipling-esque and Walter De La Mare-y and even Longfellowish here in rhythm, cadence and observation. It's a piece that also echoes the agitation and energy of Soho. Very vibrant indeed!

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Moxy Casimir

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:37

Know the sentiments well, Sophie: been 'drowned in plight' many times. You kick against it but it just takes you further out into the bleak, unfriendly sea. I like the fizz in this, the growl and snarl in the short, snappy lines. Love your energy and choice of words.

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Original item by Sophie Hall

<Deleted User>

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:33

Well done.


This sparked a wave of interest in poetry again.
Lots of talk on the radio.
Once again performance poetry was missed out.

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<Deleted User>

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:29

lid + prized = Proud to keep some thoughts special just for someone.

OR opened the lid on secret thoughts, and found that they were shallow/empty in the light of day not that worrying after all.

'still got the barb in' = the Bee sting barb is still stuck in skin even long after lover left.


thanks Mox n Francine

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Moxy Casimir

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:22

Is the answer mead, Ms de Mar? Love the 'pop.. shocked...shopped...stripped...barb' dot to dot sense and sensuousness links. And the mind being stolen like honey. Fabulosa!

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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 19:09

I like this... although please explain these lines:

'if the lid I prized for you'
'still got the barb in.'

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Isobel

Sun 3rd May 2009 18:50

I'm a woman - so can I have the last say? I think we would all agree that this is a good, well balanced poem that has worked because it prompted enough discussion. It is probably not the poem to eclipse all others for the month of April but there you go. Being chosen poet of the month must be like being given a poisoned chalice. Who on earth would want to wade through hundreds of profiles and blogs? Much as I like poetry, one can overdose. Even when you've chosen, you'll never please all and it's probably only the malcontents who bother to comment. The ones who agree are too busy writing their own poems, or maybe they are off exploring churches, or having a fag or sitting somewhere more interesting with their legs wide open.... mmm on that note...

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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 15:25

This is so sweet... it has such an innocence about it, yet at the same time so profound...
I too, love the last verse : )

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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 15:10

This is direct and to the point - void of any real emotion
(probably in shock) after such an act.
I really like this, for these reasons...

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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 15:03

Moi aussi Shane...
I am still as free as can be ; )

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Francine

Sun 3rd May 2009 14:38

This is adorably funny...
and flows well with the rhyming too : )

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Pete Crompton

Sun 3rd May 2009 13:49

I disagree with myself.
I keep reading it back trying to find something I'm missing.

I think I'm lacking in literary critique.
I just don't understand the religious references as religious history bores me chronic.I do love churches and like Nabilya I will also walk in sit, pray and absorb, my own spirit is always on a different path. The girl on the bench outside, well smoking cigarettes and open legs, I see that Alex may be putting these 2 images in comparison, the girls personal religion whether atheist or not, perhaps she is sending messages deliberate in her body language...you could extrapolate all of this........the very fact that the poem has me thinking means that it has worked..is this like one of those songs that grows or?

my opinion of the poem keeps fluxing.

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Pete Crompton

Sun 3rd May 2009 13:38

Julian has written a superb alternative version but it seems unfair to upstage the original on the comments thread. I say that as his version did upstage the original. That said Alex's poem is good its just slight to be showcased I think, then again theres no choice in the matter.

Im like Malcolm in that what I get from the poem, I feel is not what Alex put in (though I may be wrong of course)

it is a very sexual poem, especially with the use of purple and knees wide apart, its only this implication that saves it for me.

"Outside, a girl is sitting -
knees wide apart - on a bench
enjoying a lunch-hour smoke.

Her unbuttoned coat
is spread open, its lining
a purple sheen"


this could be developed a little further, the religion thing just turns me off straight away.The religion thing makes me just want to be promiscuous in order to rebel against the implied authority.

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Malpoet

Sun 3rd May 2009 11:26

Apollinarie
A Pauline Air
Appalling hair

Excellent

The purple innards of the ripe fig too. Much imagery and suggestiveness here.

Maybe not a Damascene conversion, but a delightfully executed one.

This is far better. Thanks Julian.

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<Deleted User>

Sun 3rd May 2009 10:45

I find it easier to type within the body of the poem - will send this one soon

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Original item by Noetic-fret!

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Julian (Admin)

Sun 3rd May 2009 10:44


A Pauline air
lent by
plain purple-shrouds,
so not Damask and,
thus, less figurative.

So, simply,
I am seduced by her
Sheening simplicity.
The purple lining
Lures like
a ripe fig’s innards.

And yet I know
her fag fumes
will give her
appalling hair.

C'est pas mal du tout, Alex!

Merci.

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Jeff Dawson

Sun 3rd May 2009 09:51

I hadn't seen this before as I think it was just posted a while back in Alex's profile and hadn't seen any of his work as I recall, having said that it is intriguing even though I know little about Appollinaire.

I agree with Isobel, it could have said a little more, but maybe it wasn't meant to?

It also sounds quite voyeuristic with the girls possibly purposeful seductiveness, you can rely on me not to miss something like that!

An interesting choice, but could have been just that bit better, Jeff

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clarissa mckone

Sun 3rd May 2009 01:31

Bravo Martin! We have them here to. Bush was a right wing fascist, now we have the far left wing fascist. No balance, all scum sucking cheats.Poor fools that voted for them.God help the world. good poem!

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Gus Jonsson

Sat 2nd May 2009 22:04

Can't really connect with the connection to surrealism... although Apollinaire's friend Picasso loved the colour purple too.. love the slightly contrasting images, I wonder the relaxed chick on the bench Is she a madonna with a fag? ..on the whole the poem nicely balanced.

Gus

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Malpoet

Sat 2nd May 2009 21:42

I have had a think about it.

No it's not really very good. Superficial.

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<Deleted User>

Sat 2nd May 2009 21:11

I like this a lot for its simplicity and clarity, yet strong sense of the link between inside and outside. It does have credit because the writer has observed and given thought to the link of colours and put it into words. Nice one. I like churches and often walk in just to absorb the atmosphere , so this really drew me in.

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Pete Crompton

Sat 2nd May 2009 14:16



"Hi Peter,
i'm not political and you know it so i won't go there. :-)

I actually like Kentucky fried chicken burgers and fries with a large coke. I can live without it but i do enjoy it on occasion. Maybe i should eat more. I could do with a bit of meat on my bones. Keep out the cold, wintry stuff for good!

Janet.x


"

Janet thats so honest!!!!!!!!!!! and yes thats how it works, the mono sodium has such lasting appeal, such binding temptation, never goes awy.

are the word police watching> ? I said 'binding temptation' makes no sense, oh dear.

Thanks Janet for reading
Steve e o cheers n Gus ma dears.

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Janet

Sat 2nd May 2009 13:55

Hi, tried to find your profile but it's a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack. Sorry for the cliche there. :-)

I think it's because of the drowning sensation as well as the hash rocks falling like a comet.
I saw lava in the imagery, please don't ask me to explain my imagery, it often varies from other peoples. I like the poem but it does make me feel a little strange. I tend to feel rather than think too much about the words. That is how i climb inside a poem. :-)

Janet.x

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Steve Regan

Sat 2nd May 2009 13:20

"burstin Jean seams
means greed" -- quintessentially Crompton.

People shouldn't eat mass produced, globally marketed, greased up food. When society industrializes food, the stuff ceases to be food. It is not sourced locally; the ingredients are not prepared with love, so it is not food.

Pete, they are still talking in New Brighton about your appearance at last month's Bards. Come again.

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Janet

Sat 2nd May 2009 12:41

How odd, i got a plummetting feeling reading this poem. Was that intentional?

Janet.x

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Original item by owen calvert

Janet

Sat 2nd May 2009 12:38

Hi Jeff,
i enjoyed this poem at Middleton.
Glad you blogged it to show the rhythm in writing. Nice one!

Sorry, can't be at Wigan Saturday. Some of us need to be earning, not spending.
Maybe in another realm or time warp.
Good luck though. ( sorry to tell you Bolton will lose.) :-)

Janet.x

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Original item by Jeffarama!

Janet

Sat 2nd May 2009 12:30

Hi Peter,
i'm not political and you know it so i won't go there. :-)

I actually like Kentucky fried chicken burgers and fries with a large coke. I can live without it but i do enjoy it on occasion. Maybe i should eat more. I could do with a bit of meat on my bones. Keep out the cold, wintry stuff for good!

Janet.x

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Steve Regan

Sat 2nd May 2009 09:09

Yeah, this poem works. It's neat; it paints a simple image, yet one that evokes ancient mystery and ritual as well as casual modern ways. Don't know that it has got much of a connection with Appollinaire except that churches and sex were among his themes, and that for all his avante-garde connections, he had a fascination with the ancient world. I like the poem but it is rather slight to be showcased in this slot.

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Gus Jonsson

Sat 2nd May 2009 08:01

There is another side to the USA read the late Alister Cooke...or listen to some of his recorded
Letter from America...but it did take Englishman to do it... All in all I suppose that you are not far away..but isn't it here already with a different accent same consumerism after all???

The poem is wonderful, English and full of passion... just like you
Love it
PS I 'm off for my Op next Thursday... when I get out ...we must get together for a serious discussion re set up logistics etc, ... I take you are still interested??
Gus

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Gus Jonsson

Sat 2nd May 2009 07:51

I still write the rudest things when i play the same game... must be a man thing
Pete once again ...you have done it again ...
well observed.tasty, feel the pleasre, feel the momentary irritations...
Great!
Gus

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clarissa mckone

Sat 2nd May 2009 03:53

Nice poem.

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clarissa mckone

Sat 2nd May 2009 03:50

very nice poem, fast pace. I know yall dont see things that we do, and we see things yall dont. On a nice note, Colonel Sanders was said to be a very nice ,humble man, true or not, I cant say. For Southern Mothers on a Sunday, he made life a bit more easy. You could go get all that would be a normal dinner.I dont recall us doing that. Fried chicken, fresh beens, and mashed potatos and gravy was the norm, with biscuits. Then it was time for Bluebell ice cream. Those were the days of milk and honey. A ride on a tractor, through the cotton fields, to see the oil wells. Those days are over, everyones fat and lazy, on drugs, and I could go on and on. They are druged, by the ones in power!Polluted by the ones in power. I hope they change. Ps nothing better the a milk shake or a rootbeer float! Home made fried chicken is the BOMB!!!! Cool poem, wish I was not from such a hated place, its not all bad yall, and others helped the problems happen and they live with yall.

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Pete Crompton

Sat 2nd May 2009 02:39

Well merci Beacoup Francine.
vous pensez toujours je suis marrant! LOL

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Francine

Sat 2nd May 2009 02:14

Salut toi!
J'aime déjà beaucoup le titre... et j'ai hâte de lire ce que ça va devenir...

'I like the confusion
blank looks
over your pretty head
if I talk of mechanics and silly man things'

'what will become of lovers games
if nothing to tease so tame about?'

'I’m a fiesty sentence stringer too
but
I’ll not turn the saint to sinner in her just yet'

'I recall I get annoyed
at all your mess
once again dismiss the thought
pass the test of accepting imperfection.'


Voilà le sujet de chaque poème ; )





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Francine

Sat 2nd May 2009 01:58

Thank you so much for taking the time to read through and comment on some of my poems...
I have only started to write again, and it helps to know what others think and how they interpret them...

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Ruth Hartnoll

Fri 1st May 2009 21:24

Good funny ending my man. I like it :D

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Isobel

Fri 1st May 2009 16:07

Maybe it was chosen because of its understatement and simplicity. I also think it had potential to say a lot more - but then I am rather a rambly poet and have never been able to do short and sweet.
Congratulations Alex.

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Jeff Dawson

Fri 1st May 2009 15:53

Hi All, really enjoyed writing and performing this, see you at Wigan tomorrow if you're going! Cheers Jeffarama! X

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John Darwin

Fri 1st May 2009 15:30

Angel of the North West, cracking poem. Disappointed there's no reference to the 'Manchester smile' though. Keep on keepin' on.
John

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shoeless

Fri 1st May 2009 14:10

Lydia :) NEVER let the truth get in the way of a good story .

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Original item by Lydia

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Isobel

Fri 1st May 2009 13:48

Made me laugh and remember the time all my family stock piled tins and made contingency plans at the turn of the century. Boy doesn't that make me sound old?

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Janet

Fri 1st May 2009 13:33

Is it better to lie than to hurt someones feelings?
or to make them feel better?
I doubt it.

Love the twist at the end of your poem,
nice one.
Janet.x

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Chris Dawson

Fri 1st May 2009 13:28

You went for tea at my nan's house then?
Cx

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Malpoet

Fri 1st May 2009 12:04

Not sure what it has got to do with Apollinaire unless he thinks that the image is surreal. I don't.

The image is quite interesting. The girl with a purple lined coat and given a sort of halo by the sun identifies quite well with the guady imagery of some Catholic or high Anglican churches.

I quite like thinking of a girl with relaxed coat, sexually ambiguous pose and smoking fag in a stained glass window or in a stations of the cross series. It contrasts with and challenges the carefully contrived folds of Mary's cloak; the daintily contrived positions and strategically placed arms, leaves, etc. The effortless relaxation as opposed to all the suffering of tortured execution and grief of the observers.

She becomes more of a saint to me than those inside the church and she is anything but 'of the same religion'.

I am sure what I get from the poem is not what Smith put into it, but there you go.

For me it is worth being the poem of the month because it has given me what I describe above. Is it a good poem? Dunno really. I will think about it.

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John Darwin

Fri 1st May 2009 11:31

Good luck to her but a poisoned chalice, millstone and straitjacket rolled into one if there is such a thing.

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<Deleted User>

Fri 1st May 2009 11:14


I adore this lady, who radiates warmth and welcomed me when I needed encouragement to grow as a writer.

It is her influence on me and my writing, as a person and a tutor / mentor that has taken me to heights I would not have reached before .


Comment is about Carol Ann Duffy - Poet Laureate (article)

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