Tom Doolan

1 in 4

by Tom Doolan

Monday 7th October 2013 3:39 pm

World Mental Health Day – Thursday October 10^th 2013

I am the one in four

A person you may never meet,

I am the one in four

And I live on your street,

Me I have got the blues

But nobody really cares,

You never get used to

The whispers and the stares,

Life is a struggle sometimes

But I know I must soldier on,

With a little help from my friends

I realise that I can be strong,

There are days that last forever

And nights that never end,

When I have got trouble on my mind

I pray to my god for a miracle to send,

It would be nice Joe public

If you could understand,

That sometimes a person’s life

Doesn’t always go as planned,

It could be your sister or brother

This is not an enigma,

It may be your friend or lover

Who will have to deal with the stigma,

I am the one in four

A person you may never meet,

I am the one in four

And I live on your street.

◄ Morecambe View

Fall Into Autumn ►

Comments

Isobel

Wed 16th Oct 2013 21:16

Murders committed by mentally ill people are probably insignificant statistically when compared to murders committed by drug addicts and other criminals - though I admit to not having done any research on that. I just think that the newspapers make a big thing of them because they like a lurid story with a shock factor. They also like to play the blame game.

You can't keep every person with a mental health problem in hospital forever, just like you can't keep every criminal in prison forever. They have to do risk assessments - I suppose no-one can ever guarantee 100% never making a mistake with that though - cos you've no idea how changing circumstances might impact on a person. It's like all these tragic 'baby X's' that periodically are murdered - they put steps in place but someone always slips through the net, because people and systems aren't perfect.

I don't think we are really adding anything to this discussion now. One in four people suffer from mental illness - that's someone in every person's family - someone we all love - who wouldn't hurt a soul - yet potentially will suffer from all that stigma.

Good on ya Tom for writing about it.

M.C. Newberry

Wed 16th Oct 2013 15:50

I think that the trepidation that many feel
contemplating mental illness in others is affected by the manner is can suddenly
manifest itself - or just as worrying -
disguise itself.
Isobel - your observation about the rarity of
incidents I mentioned has not been helped
by a number of attacks "out of the blue" on
innocent persons - one, a young girl stabbed
without warning on a bus; another young girl
stabbed in a park, and a third person pushed to their death under a tube train...with mental
illness being cited in the assailants. This is not very reassuring for "Joe Public" and
only exacerbates the unease that can be felt
when the term "mental illness" is mentioned.
It is the unpredictable nature of it that can
feel most threatening. Of course, those who
suffer have their side of the story to tell but
it should be accepted that there are victims
OTHER than those who suffer the disease in whatever form.
Lastly, a personal recollection.
I was once walking down a local street after
leaving the gym in my tracksuit when I was
struck on the head without warning from behind.
I turned to see a woman (unknown to me) walking
away - holding a carrier bag that she had
used to hit me. That bag COULD have contained
a brick or worse and I might have been left
lying at death's door. This is what I mean by
the sudden and worrying unpredictability of
mental illness in the public arena. Should I
blame the woman? the system that she may nor
may not have been subjected to? her freedom to
move around and assault without reason a total stranger?
Simple - it is not! But we need, as a society
to be aware of what's out there.

Isobel

Wed 16th Oct 2013 13:12

LOL - then I shall post again, just to take it to a very lucky 15!

I think mental illness manifests itself in many different ways - from the 'blues' that wouldn't be that noticeable the average person, right through to the depths of psychosis - which would. I suppose we all have our own experience of that reality which will colour our own views on the subject.

I hear what you are saying about an uncaring society though Mike - and the lack of understanding for the kind of trauma any returning soldier might feel.

From my understanding of it, sedative medication is a starting point, to give the brain time to heal - then in mild doses a defence system against the stresses of day to day life which might otherwise cause re-occurrence

It would be great if they could invent a proper cure that just magic-ed everything away - perhaps one day they will.

A better society in which people didn't have to struggle to survive might also help. I don't think it would ever be possible to remove negative experiences though - they are part and parcel of life.

It's good that we've all been able to talk about this though. More openness is so important to the mental health issue.

Noetic-fret!

Tue 15th Oct 2013 23:52

......laughter can help but, only recently Tesco had to withdraw it's stock of Halloween costumes that depicted, 'a mental patient.' It still seems the norm that those who are mentally unwell are ridiculed. As for the cessation of medication by a sufferer, I cannot blame them. If big pharma had there way, we would all be on medication for something or other. Not only that, but some medications are more harmful than that which we are supposed to be relieving. I still say, as most would, that prevention is better than cure. At the moment, we go about treating the symptoms, often only sedating a patient, without getting to the root cause of the conditions. My suggestion is, if we got to the root cause, we would have to change society for, we live here in the UK with a history of child abuse, social problems emanating from poverty, let alone those who are exposed to trauma in service for our country, service in faith that goes overlooked once they come down with varying degrees of mental ill health.

The way we treat people who have these conditions is appalling yet, it is better than some countries who still practice archaic forms of incarceration for sufferers. I have said it before and I will say it again; Mental Ill Health is like a scab we place a plaster over, but not to treat the wound, but for fear of contaminating ourselves.

One of the main reasons Mental Ill Health is not out there in regular discussion by the medical practice and politician alike, is because it is not a vote winner. Once the powers on high, recognize just how prolific, just how demeaning too, these conditions are, they may well go some way into changing the way society conducts itself, starting perhaps with something so simple, such as the cessation of hitting children. If they could responsibly acknowledge this fundamental parameter of experience many sufferers go through, they may well conceive a more caring society in the future. The Swedish Model's statistics speak a lot about this issue, and it is perhaps something we could learn from. Alas, 'we' still won't acknowledge what we do to our young, yet alone what we do to each other as adults.

Just my two penneth, and for the record, I posted this to get past 13 comments. 13 might be an unlucky number! I have humor as a sufferer too, but in all seriousness, know that we have to change the way society conducts itself, for the sake of our future generations.

Best wishes, mike.

Isobel

Tue 15th Oct 2013 18:59

I think the cases where people do horrendous things are rare and often exaggerated. Skipping medication is far more likely to harm people themselves, by making them ill again, when it can be avoided.

We are lucky to live in modern times when the excesses of illness can be relieved by medication - and that medication need not be a forever thing. Over time and in the right circumstances, everything can be adjusted.

I sometimes wonder if they'll one day cure mental illness, like they hope to cure alzheimers. After all, it's a chemical imbalance - they just need to understand the balance better.

M.C. Newberry

Tue 15th Oct 2013 17:24

Isobel is spot on about the need to "keep taking
the tablets" and not to abuse drugs. The great
advances made by the commitment of the medical
profession should never be treated with casual
disregard. Too often, there are reports of those who have failed to take their prescribed
medication and committing horrendous acts - some
resulting in the death of innocent souls.

Isobel

Tue 15th Oct 2013 16:02

I'd agree there Tom - laughter is the best medicine out there. It's only topped by one - and that's love. That probably sounds very corny but it's true - and that's why I said what I said about support networks. When people are ill, they can be changed, and it takes very deep love to see beyond those changes, to never give up and to will them through it.

There will always be problems within society - pressure points and reasons for people to crack - we just have to hope that we can foster an environment where our own fallibility becomes accepted and understood.

Tom Doolan

Tue 15th Oct 2013 15:47

I have worked in mental health as a support worker for a number of years. Although my own mental health is stable. I have a family member who is very unwell, as I am sure we all will be touched in some way.

I wanted to write something for 'World Mental Health Day' to highlight, raise awareness and spark debate.

Thanks everyone for all your comments. I certainly seem to have started a big debate. Then again it's good to talk :)

Laughter is good medicine :D

Tom

Noetic-fret!

Mon 14th Oct 2013 22:01

......@ MC Newbury, sorry if I misinterpreted you. All's I can say in my defense is that your original comment hooks up with the theory of 'Being content with little and appreciative when more is obtained.' I do understand where you're coming from in many respects, but the way you have written it seems to infer that we should be thankful for the little things when in all honesty when in heights of mental ill health we're not in one bit bothered about the little things at all for, to suffer severely is to strip one of all manifestations of humanity to the point where nothing matters. Not even the little things we have. I am glad you can have empathy, having suffered to a certain extent yourself from a mental ill health malady. And i congratulate you on being warm enough to help others. Most who are in the heights of severe mental ill health only wish for their life to end.

@Isobel, yes there are a number of actions you can take, and actions not to take to alleviate symptoms of mental ill health, but without being too critical, I think most know that this is to all intents and purposes, a wrongful way of existence as a 'human being.' Here I pick upon the comment you make about having a good network of support. Yes that is good, but from the point of view of humanity, why are we 'all' not in that support group? Helping each other adjust as best we can to an intolerable state of affairs until 'real change' can be introduced.

This is a topic that many leave under the rug and don't want exposed, for in essence if we come to grips with all that ails, then we may well have to wipe the slate clean and start again. Only next time around taking more account of the nature of humans as compassionate rational beings. We don't do that now because it is too painful for many to acknowledge the truth that.....This is not how we are meant to be.

My own thoughts are, that if we do not embrace these issues soon, with gusto, then we will never change the way this inherently corrupted society is. But how to make these changes, is going to be a difficult subject to breach. At least we here, have the scope and insight to talk of such things where many, currently, still hold those with mental ill health as a point of ridicule.

Well done you lot.

Well done Tom!

Isobel

Mon 14th Oct 2013 19:57

I'd agree with you there MC. Avoiding totally the 'shake yourself out of it' type of comments, which must be really aggravating when you are suffering badly, I think there are courses of action which can make any illness more bearable.

Staying away from the wrong kind of drugs is a biggie - and respecting medically prescribed drugs just as important. Keeping stress to a minimum by avoiding those situations likely to induce it. Talking to people about your problems - not bottling it up. There are probably a million more that I haven't thought of.

A lot must also depend on the support network you have around you. Some people are so much luckier than others - but I suppose you could say that for every aspect of life.

M.C. Newberry

Mon 14th Oct 2013 16:50

Noetic-fret should read again my lines "when not
always pathological" - and my reference to other
forms, referred to in my post.
I have suffered from the debilitating effects
of mental depression - getting up daily with
scant interest in life and its demands. I was
so low I visited the local hospital for help but
left after waiting fo so long I gave up! I began
to use my mind to fight back - repeatedly reminding myself that the brain is able to defeat
the demons it creates. Over a period of time, the symptoms faded and I was once again "the master of
my fate". I also speak from experience with
those I've met with mental illness in my working
life and was thanked in unexpectedly complimentary
terms by one sufferer waiting to be returned to
a hospital for the mentally ill - for showing
a sympathy and understanding in my attitude
he hadn't met even from those professionals he
knew. We shook hands when he left.
But there ARE forms (non-pathological) of the illness that can be induced/exaggerated by a
a way of life or a person's own personal
life-style, including the abuse of drugs. These
are the variations that can be confronted by
the individual and, hopefully. controlled and
ultimately vanquished. It was called "mind over matter" in my younger days.

Isobel

Mon 14th Oct 2013 14:03

I think you might find that ratio a lot lower on a poetry site Tom and so many readers will empathise with you.

Poetry seems to be a common language for people to express those inner demons - and thank goodness it exists.

The stigma is a hard thing to combat since often it's ourselves/ our nearest and dearest who indirectly maintain it. The need to protect loved ones from all that stigma can lead to silence. I suppose it's a vicious cycle. It's only when you open up about certain things that you realise just how many people understand.

Great subject for a poem and I love the simplicity of that final verse, which really brings the point home.

winston plowes

Mon 14th Oct 2013 01:47

some very considered and valid comments here sparked by Tom's poem. The more we talk about the truth the more difficult it will be to ignore.

Noetic-fret!

Mon 14th Oct 2013 01:00

Hi Tom, I too, am 1 in 4. It's very difficult for most people to understand mental ill health. Taking a look at M C Newberry's comment, says a lot about how people seem to perceive us, and in being honest, they are wrong! It is more than just the daily parameters of living, for it is in itself a life that is dehumanized, something that, if we were an animal to suffer, we would be put out of our misery. As humans who maintain that they are normal, they will just never understand. For not to be touched by this world in some degree, is in all honesty, abnormal. I suffer among many conditions, PTSD from service career, i also have a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. If we were to hack someone to death in the street, there would be an outcry! But so called normal people kill too, and that, is acceptable compared to someone who suffers from Mental Ill Health. It astounds me too, that many argue that it is down to genetics and go to extreme lengths to try to prove it, when i guess both you and i know, as well as the 1 in 4, it is more likely the case that it is environmental. In all honesty, people will just not 'get it' concerning how dire these conditions are, they just will not understand until it happens to them. For that Tom, and also the 1 in 4, you have my empathy and understanding! We are in a diabolical world, know this to be the case, and are deeply affected by it.

Nice writing Tom.

Keep posting

Mike

Steve Higgins

Tue 8th Oct 2013 20:20

Difficult subject; great poem. Best wishes, Steve

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 8th Oct 2013 12:19

hard hitting and sooooo very very true.I wish you well Tom.x

M.C. Newberry

Mon 7th Oct 2013 16:00

Mental health takes many forms - as does
mental illness. Being content with little and
appreciative when more is obtained - especially
unexpectedly, this helps keep unsettling and
ultimately disappointing hopes within sensible
bounds. Illness, when not always pathological,
can often result from not being content and seeing "injustice" and "unfairness" everywhere.
This mental state is easily magnified and needs
a change of attitude if it isn't to increase to
harmful levels - to the sufferer and others.
The word "content" is rarely met nowadays...
everyone seems to think they are entitled to
"happiness" - an often delusional and ephemeral human condition. I'll settle for contentment any day!

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

Please consider supporting us

Donations from our supporters are essential to keep Write Out Loud going

Bringing poetry to people

Click here to donate now