Lillian
Thu 10th Apr 2014 19:35
I could feel your sadness through this poem. I thought the writing was quite impressive. I enjoyed the way you expressed the emotion in the poem but still managed to keep a kind of pattern to your stanzas. Also, I thought that your connection to spring really pulled the poem together and made it very interesting to read.
Comment is about Only Once the Spring Comes (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Lillian
Thu 10th Apr 2014 19:30
I truly loved this poem. It was very deep and the writing conjured up wonderful images. I loved your starting line. It set the mood of the poem even though the poem had barely begun. Also your break choices amplified the poem's mood, and imagery, and made it feel as if someone was speaking, not writing. I thought it was a very well written poem.
Comment is about Chapter One (blog)
Original item by David Blake
thanks for your comments over my last few poems on here.
the ghost story is taking some thought as i am trying to write one a day throughout april, but it is getting there but by keeping them fairly short - i am tending to find they have more impact.
to answer your question over 'silhouetting in Wagner'. i picked up a story regarding Wagner been played in one of the camps fairly recently (a work of fiction), and i put silhouette in by accident in front of it (was going to put in something else) and it seemed to work.
thanks for the comments again x
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
thanks for reading and commenting hope you are well keep writing ! peace and love
Comment is about fitzroy herbert (poet profile)
Original item by fitzroy herbert
I think this says it all Ian. Thank You
Comment is about the red regret of Thomas (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Thanks, Graham. I stumbled upon this "message in a box of ammo" practice in a book of social history; I had never heard of it before. It was in a section about behaviour between men and women becoming less laced-up during the war. The "canary girls" were those whose skin became yellow as a result of exposure to sulphuric acid in TNT while manufacturing shells; the women workers generally were known as munitionettes.
Comment is about To My Unknown Soldier (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
This is a very charming, poignant and clever reverse on the unknown soldier idea Greg. There's a lot of this stuff on the TV lately, and although I didn't lose a known relative (at least at this point I don't think I have) the thing that captures me is the way that people coped, handled, endured the pressures whichever side they were on.
This is quite lovely, harmless and a totally believable message in a bottle thing.
Well done!
Graham
Comment is about To My Unknown Soldier (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Great article Greg - and performance from Jess, who's really found her voice.
What she says about teaching and Gove is bang on, from my experiences of working in and around teaching, at any rate.
Comment is about Performance poet Jess Green's attack on Michael Gove and plea for teachers is runaway YouTube hit (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Superb. Well spotted Greg!
Go, Jess! Gove: go! And take Ms Miller with you.
Comment is about Performance poet Jess Green's attack on Michael Gove and plea for teachers is runaway YouTube hit (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
thanks cynthis..yes it was all over mine and everyone elses cars..not one person mentioned it all day...till someone i write to in london said people were really suffering with it...i thought it unusual that it didnt stir more people to comment...
Comment is about sand (blog)
Original item by Rachel Bond
thanks Laura - as discussed it's a Sicilian Octave - and, as also discussed, I agree about the 'flops' - so I've made a few changes - see what you think now :-) cheers
Comment is about The Bicycle Scout (21st August 1914) (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Just asked you this on FB but might as well put it here. Is this a 'form' type of poem, and if so, what type?
And - can a tyre 'flop'?
Comment is about The Bicycle Scout (21st August 1914) (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Travis Brow
Tue 8th Apr 2014 13:25
Thanks Simon, it took me a while to get it right, and there's every chance it'll change. I can't help editing and re-editing.
Comment is about CAR WASH (blog)
Excellent, pearls of wisdom from Stingray. What more could you want?
Comment is about John Cooper Clarke: 'Poetry is not something you retire from. There is no heavy lifting involved' (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I really like this, Rachel. There's a lot to absorb, but the first plunge into your work is always invigorating and challenging. I'm glad you picked up on the romance of Saharan sand drifting and falling over the UK - the natural event was begging to be 'poeticized'.
Comment is about sand (blog)
Original item by Rachel Bond
You are GOOD! This theme is excellent and your images and diction are captivating.
I give way to full poetic license to punctuate as you feel fit to present your own work. In stanza 2, first 5 lines, I get the intent of your idea, ie. still scene setting, but it took three readings. IMO, perhaps it was the punctuation of those lines. Also, I think it is the jump into 'They sit...lost in ether.' with its solid new idea and precise structure which jarred me. I did notice both Stanzas 1 and 2 were nine lines, but no further exact structure seemed intended; so you weren't bound by prescribed verse lengths.
This is a comment, not a criticism.
Comment is about Chapter One (blog)
Original item by David Blake
My kinda poem - short, but makes you think.
Comment is about CAR WASH (blog)
thanks for the comment on my Nordic piece Dominic - yours, mine and Laura's make a good trilogy I think :-)
Ian
Comment is about Dominic James (poet profile)
Original item by Dominic James
Howdy again - thank you again for your note on The Bitter Skald :)
Ooo just read your Nordic poem - most excellent and reverential! Almost feels like it should have a single hand drum accompanying it. But maybe that's just my drum obsession! :D
Great to hear from you, and on TWO poems at that! Thank you so much :)
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Top class - a best example of originality in thought and skill in language.
I remember doing 'Hymn of a Northern Clime' in 2011. Just mentioning the Nordic interest from back then.
Comment is about The Bitter Skald (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hi Cynthia I'm glad that you're enjoying the poems! Better for you to be reading them than to have them stacked up on a shelf! I'll have a new collection out called 'A Murmuration' towards the end of 2015 from Two Rivers Press. I'll keep you posted!
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
David, I am so relishing these books of your poetry, especially since they are widely separated in age, experience and intent. It is a very personal look into yourself.
One thing was really funny. I was very taken with one poem and the apt description of 'rain ...... dissolving window'. I thought: "What an exceptional image - 'dissolving' is perfect." Then, a few days later, I read a different poem in the other book, and I recognized that this second poem was similar, sort of, to a previous one. Maybe just on a related theme. But then, the same 'dissolving window' jumped out and I laughed out loud. Of course, I had to scope the two books to find the other poem. It was insightful to compare the two, the younger and older man, years apart. But 'the dissolving window' wouldn't let go!
BTW, after the fact, I did notice your comment about re-doing some works for later publication. When is a poem ever finished!
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
I don't recall Farage seeking a country that's all white
And when he talks of us being had over, he's
absolutely right.
He puts the case for a United Kingdom that's governed from within
And I don't consider that to be some sort of
original sin.
Cheers.
Comment is about Nigel Farage (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hello Olivia and welcome to Write Out Loud. I’m really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site. If you haven’t already added a picture to your profile please try and do so. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.
Graham Sherwood
Comment is about olivia (poet profile)
Original item by olivia
Hi Val, thanx, glad you like Snakeskin Sid, hope you're good, all okay here (my book is out by the way hint hint), next Bolton WOL is 20 April, at the Brooklyn, be great to see you if you can make it! X
Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)
Original item by Valerie Cook
Sun 6th Apr 2014 10:08
Sounds like the headline should more accurately be 'On the tale of Ted Hughes', or even 'On the tail of Ted Hughes'..
Once HarperCollins is involved..
Like dust on the Mirror
As smoke hides the Fire
All is coloured
By Fear and Desire..
Comment is about On the trail of Ted Hughes: more twists in tale of biographer's row with estate (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
thanks for your comment on The Artful Bodger, Val. My dad was a serious Heath Robinsonn DIY-er but usually successfully, so I guess this is rooted in my psyche somehow. xx
Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)
Original item by Valerie Cook
Haha, cheers Jeff, re Before and After. Why do we do it?! ;D
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Whhelll, who knew there were so many Nordic poems on here?! :)
Comment is about The Bitter Skald (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hi Cynthia
thanks for commenting - apols for late reply
too little weight i suspect
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
I enjoyed reading your poem Yvonne.I know one or two fellows like this,great fun.
Comment is about The Ballad Of The Artful Dodger (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Brilliant, we've all been there but you summed it up perfect! :-)
Comment is about Before and After (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Simon Cowell, Cliff Richard? Probably could be a few, whoever, really enjoyed it! cheers Jeff
Comment is about Mr Twee (blog)
Original item by Marksy
Great rant mate, and yes you must be right with the inspiration, it's such a relief when it says you can skip this video in 'X' seconds!
Comment is about Just Another Load of Shite (blog)
Original item by Marksy
Speeding through Somewhereshire on a train to who knows where - love it! some great observations here!
Love the pace of this Marksy & the nice 'bridge' bit in the middle, great poem and sounds like a good rant which is what I like!
Comment is about Speeding on through Somewhereshire (blog)
Original item by Marksy
Powerful stuff, some great lines here and love the title!
Comment is about Human Wreckage (blog)
Original item by Marksy
Hi Marksy, thanks for reading Snakeskin Sid! - as a Bolton Wanderers fan, Frank Worthy was one of my heroes and a bit of a character on and off the park, the difference was he could play football! Thanks, glad you like it!
ps Enjoying your work!
Comment is about Marksy (poet profile)
Original item by Marksy
Thanks Marksy, as a Bolton Wanderers fan, Frank was one of my heroes and a bit of a character on and off the park, the difference was he could play football! Thanks, glad you like it!
Comment is about Snakeskin Sid! (blog)
Original item by Jeffarama!
<Deleted User> (11984)
Fri 4th Apr 2014 21:07
deep and lovely! this touched my soul! well done
Comment is about Believing (blog)
Original item by emmy92
Love it! Why do I keep thinking of Frank Worthington?
Comment is about Snakeskin Sid! (blog)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Thanks, Dominic. Hopefully people have cottoned on to the fact that you can also read all the 10 top poems by clicking on the links in the story. My favourite one is 'CCTV Central', on the list of commended poets.
Comment is about Leaf encounter: Linda France wins National Poetry Competition (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I've received a copy of the top poems in the prize, supplied by the Poetry Society(I'm such a joiner). Linda France's poem is clearly good: sound, movement in flavour and texture, the presence of the flower - I'm not so sure about Bernard. Is creepy the new sexy? He supplies a queasy softness among the hard stems of the greenhouse. Anyway, a strong poem, and if it's not my cup of tea, that's the way of it. My favourite was the commended: Gift of the Sloth, by Debbie Lin.
Linda France gave a highly articulate interview, and on the subject of the competition: "You enter these things and you don't expect to actually win." Good for her.
Comment is about Leaf encounter: Linda France wins National Poetry Competition (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Looks OK to me Rachel, and well done getting a topic poem up so quickly.
Comment is about sand (blog)
Original item by Rachel Bond
Hi Ian
I liked you Norse poem, added to Laura's blog, the Bitter Skald. "Necrotic spots" directly touches branch and limb. We're barking up the same tree!
It is a fantastic world picture, the world tree, resilient but vulnerable: one can't help but think of Ash Die Back in global terms - though I hadn't realised yggdrasil is the Giant Ash until recently.
The idea of the 3 sisters at the well of destiny daubing the trunk with mud to protect the tree from disease somehow points at once to ancient knowledge, modern helplessness.
I better look through your poems...
All the best, Dom.
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
reet gradely, lad.xx
Comment is about Allus tummlin’ i’ summat (blog)
Original item by C Richard Miles
hello , thanks for the comment on my pancake day poem. yes i am well , i seem to do lots of things except write poetry ... must try harder.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Larisa Rzhepishevska
Thu 10th Apr 2014 21:37
Thank you, dear Lillian, for commenting and understanding.
With warmest wishes,
Larisa <3
Comment is about Only Once the Spring Comes (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska