Good question. Keep thinking. And writing.
Comment is about yin yang (blog)
Original item by Ben Chronister
What started like a fair and valid question quickly became a stolid opinion entirely off the point first made. IMO,leave off the first four lines and get right into what you really intend to say.
Good rhyming.
Comment is about Politicians (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Hello Laura .. thanks for your kind comment. Not a happy subject but I wrote it quickly to get my thoughts out of the way, it's easy to go on dwelling on sad news for ever .. Cheers!
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hello Martin.thanks very much for your comment. The 'chords of flowers' refers to him being a musician and of course all the flowers that my wife had to receive . Thanks.
Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)
Original item by Martin Elder
Hello Ben ... thank-you for your comment on my recent poem. It's great when people find something in your words .. Cheers.
Comment is about Ben Chronister (poet profile)
Original item by Ben Chronister
Thank you for the feedback Cynthia - useful and constructive as ever. I had already edited out quite a few words but maybe not enough. I was going for the richness of the moment - smelling the roses as life speeds past us - but need to reflect more on this. Perhaps I can't have both.
Comment is about Earsplitting (blog)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
This seems interesting but has no contact details, I found out about it last week through a friend at an open mic. I have contacted Radio Leeds with my details and am waiting their reply which hopefully they will.
Comment is about National Poetry Day and BBC team up with OED to unearth local words for poems (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Wed 31st May 2017 12:09
my questions are Raj,doesn't someone like you have enough of the opposite sex to last you a lifetime,and beyond? Or are you simply keeping yourself until Mrs Right comes along?Not a hermit by any chance are you?Loved the poem.Thank you.Jemima.
Comment is about Are you out there? (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
Breathing in
Breathing out
Laughing
Crying
Love
Hate
Pain
Pleasure
Agony
Ecstasy
Morning
Night
Black
White
Birth
Death
All two sides to the coin Ben. All to be accepted wholeheartedly as part of our lives.
Thanks so much for sharing
Comment is about yin yang (blog)
Original item by Ben Chronister
<Deleted User> (13762)
Wed 31st May 2017 08:03
there are elements of this which IMO work really well and I love the section from 'You are why love poems are written' to 'the big bad strong one'. Thanks for posting, Colin
Comment is about that moment is so golden (blog)
Original item by Dana Lyn
<Deleted User> (13762)
Wed 31st May 2017 07:40
I'm never quite sure whether to mention that a poem reminds me of something else when the intention of the author is to write something original and in their own voice - which this so obviously does. But the way the first half particularly is written put me in mind of Elvis Costello and his punchy, short, staccato lyrics. I'm a great fan of his writing so I hope that's a compliment to you Tom as I very much enjoy your writing too. All the best, Colin.
Comment is about Your Shoes (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Cheers muchly all!
Just me doing my Mystic Meg impression. It will happen, or at least a variant of it. A pledge, not a promise, Colin!
Suki
Comment is about Sanitary Towels For Men (blog)
Original item by Suki Spangles
Thank you so much fot your kind words Kim. I shall do just that ?
Comment is about Kim Whysall-Hammond (poet profile)
Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond
<Deleted User> (9882)
Tue 30th May 2017 21:34
always room for a good laugh John,and you've given me one(not literally,one hastens to add!?) with this well worked pearler.
ta muchly.
R?se....?
Comment is about Cock's Away! (blog)
Original item by John Andrew Nield
<Deleted User> (9882)
Tue 30th May 2017 21:27
Tue 30th May 2017 20:22
Thank you Colin. I tend to get in the flow and just write it how it comes to me. I think that some of the 'rawness' is lost once the poem is tinkered with. I do think that if I took time to edit, then I could avoid repeating words and other possibly 'lazy' aspects of my writing. I think WoL is a great forum to get some critique and feedback. I may enter some competitions, & see how that goes. I would love to one day be a published writer. In the meantime I shall continue to take on board any feedback and improve. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Comment is about Life Loved To Death (blog)
Original item by Liam
Just wanted to say thanks a lot for liking my poem Home Straight, Connor. Hope your original work continues to thrive on WOL!
Ray
Comment is about Connor Lannes (poet profile)
Original item by Connor Lannes
Thanks gents for liking my extravaganza. I should have said that no reputations were harmed in the writing of this poem.
Keith I thank you for reading and listening.
I enjoyed your comment, David. No reason why experiments should not be indulged in in confined spaces, even to having government funded visitations by professionals to ease those long nights, surely? Health and safety may of course be a problem.
Col. I apologize for your brevity but the thought was there!
Thanks.
Mark, I loved your small but highly significant true story, told in the best possible taste, unlike my own . Silverlawns is such a great name too. Perhaps I may use it in a future poem?
Love to all. Ray
Comment is about HOME STRAIGHT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
cheers all. i dont believe i suffer any more or less than anyone else subjectively. objectively of course, i go through an absolute fraction of what some people face. grief always struck me as a very personal thing, relative to age. when a bird i rescued died after three nights i believe my ten year old self mourned the way one may mourn the death of a child or a parent. whose suffering is greater, the child who loses his teddy bear or the adult who loses a son or daughter. objectively, its a no contest. but at the time i expect the sense of injustice and disarray is quite the same.
who knows. this didnt start out as a poem about manchester, but im pleased people enjoyed it and shoots grew out of it.
Comment is about my pain and sadness is more sad and painful than yours (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
I have been entranced with the ancient relics left in Wessex since a child. I'm glad you liked my attempt to show what still fascinates me.
Comment is about Chalklands (blog)
Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond
Nice one. I could imagine this being a whole children's book , with a verse per page, and someone like Quentin Blake illustrating it.
Comment is about 'Pet Project'! (blog)
Original item by John Andrew Nield
MC. Thank you for a poem which deals well with man´s´unwarranted intervention with nature. Keith
Comment is about BY ANY OTHER NAME (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Hi John. Thanks for commenting on "shut thi Clack" & "Sylvie".
I'm reading and enjoying some of your stuff at present, and I'll leave some comments when I've read more.
Welcome to the site by the way. I hope you get as much out of it as I do. I'm new to writing poetry so it's only by receiving comments that I know how I'm doing. All the best.
Cheers Kevin
Comment is about John Andrew Nield (poet profile)
Original item by John Andrew Nield
Thank you all of you for your kind and encouraging words. I'm not even sure of how to respond to comments yet as it isn't obvious?
I have hundreds of poems already written and hundreds to come I am sure. Feeling lucky to have found a platform with like-minded lovelies ?
Comment is about Milestones (blog)
Original item by Candi
Good one, Hazel. Much enjoyed.
Since you want the idea of 'speed', would you read this aloud to yourself, to judge whether there are a few words that could be omitted? Words that block the headlong plunge being described? It would make a huge difference. Like your haiku.
Always with respect,
Cynthia
Comment is about Earsplitting (blog)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
Some strong thoughts and valid conclusions in this.
Comment is about No Place For Angels (blog)
Original item by Noetic-fret!
Really good, Martin. Well caught scenario. The brevity works well.
I think you have the odd word serving no real purpose. Any chance I might be right?
Comment is about rainy day in may (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
I'll try. I'll really try. Excellent piece of work this, funny and challenging both.
Comment is about Give Me An Original Metaphor (blog)
Original item by Connor Lannes
Bless you, Child! You are among FRIENDS who know exactly where you are now. And who cheer you on with lumps in our throats and tears in our eyes. Such honesty becomes a woman who has much to say. Let the poetry begin again, with unbelievable sources of material to draw upon, past, present and future. Keep everything! Notebooks and pencils might be better than computers/phones because they travel so well in pocket or bag, and they become a separate, special 'place' for thoughts. Besides, it's still the finger to pencil to paper 'thing' that has a hint of magic in it. Your own 'writing'!
Hope the GCSE's are going well, and the teething.
Comment is about Milestones (blog)
Original item by Candi
There's a video version of this poem at https://youtu.be/l3ob9GcL9kk
Comment is about The End of May (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
Great to see Tony get the recognition he deserves at last, but it's a pity it was such a tragic event that made it happen. He was one of the first guest readers I saw when I started going to open mics about 15 years ago, and I've always regarded him as one of the greats among performance poets.
Comment is about Tony Walsh reads 'This is The Place' at Ariana Grande concert for Manchester bombing victims (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I missed it first time round too. Absolutely wonderful poem - incredibly strong.
Comment is about 'As if the song would come again' by Mikhail Smith is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I spent a number of months visiting my late mother in a
place called "Silverlawns" - a residential home that offered
security and a place to call her own in her late onset of
dementia. I much prefer Ray's version!! Thanks for the
chuckles that brought back earlier memories of a
previous establishment above the local harbour where she
met and found late happiness with her third husband.
NB - Silverlawns, like my mother, is no more...a victim of
time like everything else in our world.
Comment is about HOME STRAIGHT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thanks both.
Thanks Colin, I agree there's nothing that reminds me of summer more than swifts and swallows. I did think of holding back until later in the season but I think the recent warm spell had me thinking about those balmy late summer days.
Comment is about Late Summer (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 30th May 2017 12:10
Hello again Hazel - I'm more than happy with a bit of insplagiarationism! - one of the wonderful things about WoL is the way we trigger dialogue and response through poetry and commentary. So bring it on is what I say. I'm also flattered that you found favour with my Fun in a Fiat 500 - phew! It did strike me that your Earsplitting was on a similar theme when I read it. All good stuff and nothing to forgive whatsoever. All the bestest, Col.
Comment is about Hazel ettridge (poet profile)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
Hello Ray, thank you for your comment on A Wartime Journey. I was born in January 1948 so am only able to recollect the aftermath of the war in and around Birmingham. My poems covering this period and also the Great War are taken from the experiences of family and friends who lived through these times. I hope I do justice to their memories. Later this year I hope to publish a book which will include two sections of poetry devoted to the World Wars. I´ll keep you posted. Thank you again for you comments as always they are much appreciated. Keith
Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)
Original item by ray pool
Kim, this beautifully crafted poem entrances me into a realm of history the portals of which lie at our very doorstep, Thank you indeed. Keith
Comment is about Chalklands (blog)
Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond
True to life experience thou haha. Thanks!
Comment is about Last poem that I will right for you (blog)
Original item by Gelo leysa
Thanks for your thoughts I appreciate it.
Comment is about Change (blog)
Original item by Gelo leysa
I love to read pieces of experience like this Keith. I'm interested to know if this happened you or to someone close. I can sort of equate this to any suspension of time backed by fear; while not on this level I was trapped in a holiday chalet with a raging storm last year so this brought back a little of that angst! There is almost an atmosphere of War of the Worlds about the distant threat and the orange glow.
Ray
Comment is about A Wartime Journey (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Nous te remercions, Louis. pour tes bonne voeux.
Comment is about From a Canadian friend (blog)
Original item by Louis Audet
Start breaking up those lines about shoes and love creating worry into a poem....... I managed a few poems when my lads were young, they may not be my best, but they heartfelt and bring it all back now!
My youngest is doing GCSEs right now too.....to me, being the support as they do exams is FAR worse than the middle of the baby night feeds. No wonder you are tired.
Comment is about Milestones (blog)
Original item by Candi
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 30th May 2017 09:43
lovely poem Martin but can't help but think your cafe needs cheering up with this chap:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MShWyT5g96c
Comment is about rainy day in may (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 30th May 2017 09:29
is this one of your manifesto pledges Suki?
Comment is about Sanitary Towels For Men (blog)
Original item by Suki Spangles
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 30th May 2017 09:06
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 30th May 2017 08:45
I actually quite like the rawness of this. It might not be perfect but I'm not sure I agree that it's all downhill from the second line. There is a start, middle and end to the poem, the three parts connect to each other and the end refers back to the start. The title is excellent and I love the line 'Artex ceiling or stars overhead?'.
with some considered editing, the removal of repeated words and some further thought to rhyme I think you could be on to a winner. But therein lies the difference between a winner poem and just another 'way too many' poem that Adam referred to. It takes time and patience to refine the latter into the former.
WoL is an excellent forum to learn and seek advice so it's good to see that you are open to that Liam. Good luck with your writing.
Colin.
Comment is about Life Loved To Death (blog)
Original item by Liam
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 31st May 2017 15:21
There's nothing depressing about thinking, unless you feel that you, and only you, have the 'right' answers. Now that would be DEPRESSING.
Enjoy the journey. Read a lot, listen a lot, and say little until you have something to say which is worth sharing. Poetry is an excellent medium for practising opinions, because writing in 'shorthand' requires precision of ideas and adequate vocabulary to express them.
Is that you in the photo up top?
Comment is about Ben Chronister (poet profile)
Original item by Ben Chronister