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john short

Sun 11th Feb 2018 13:21

Hi Ray

Reading poetry, some word or phrase triggers a memory or idea and then I scribble down a splurge of words, not thinking much in the early stage, just let the thoughts flow with minimal interference from the conscious mind. The rational shaping of the initial inspiration comes later, if that makes sense.

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john short

Sun 11th Feb 2018 12:56

I think it's great when you don't know how it's going to end and just go with it - that's the fun. And if you don't like the eventual ending you can always change it.

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 11th Feb 2018 11:03

Good to see you back with a strong piece Alexandra.

Love this line........One noose, one tear drop - same shape.

and these......

I don’t want to reduce us to a poem

What I write will always fall flat

We couldn’t be contained by paper

We couldn’t be captured by pen

We were a feeling.

Keep posting!

Comment is about I'm in the gap (blog)

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keith jeffries

Sun 11th Feb 2018 10:40

To the Family of Harry,

I was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of my good friend Harry. We regularly commented on each other´s poetry and came to know each other. I live in Spain, but were I closer to you all I would most certainly be at Harry´s Funeral Mass. May Our Lord grant you His comfort at this time and may Harry Rest in Peace and Rise in Glory.

Keith Jeffries

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Chris Armstrong

Sun 11th Feb 2018 10:01

Ray, Tony - Glad you both enjoyed it. I started out with something similar to my earlier 'Rooms' in mind but pruned it down to this version which I thought worked ok. Some of the other rooms would have been very weak - there's not a lot you can say about a student refectory!

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Rick Varden

Sun 11th Feb 2018 09:56

Ah yes! Them or Gary Numan. Thanks for that. Cheers

Comment is about PULSAR (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 11th Feb 2018 09:54

This is indeed very sad news. Peculiarly, i was only thinking that Harry had been awol on WOL for a time and half suspected it was his health that had forced him off the blog.

I never met him, but like so many of here felt I knew him as a gentleman and positive force for good poetry always with a considered comment here and there.

Rip Harry (I hope you were right all along) from a man happy to call you a friend.

Graham

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Marianne May

Sun 11th Feb 2018 09:19

My pleasure, Colin. Thank you very much!

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<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 11th Feb 2018 09:13

a contemplative pause which captures the moment effectively and beautifully. Thanks for posting Marianne. All the best, Colin.

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<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 11th Feb 2018 09:07

I was thinking exactly the same thing as Pat without having read her comment. Winter draws us in before Spring releases us again. All the best Des. Col.

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John Coopey

Sun 11th Feb 2018 00:34

Thanks Ray. You’re right. It’s a bit more expensive than funding a football and kicking it between some coats-for-goalposts.

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David Taylor-Jones

Sat 10th Feb 2018 23:03

Thanks for your comments John, it really helps to have some thoughtful feedback. David

Comment is about Raking up the past (blog)

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suki spangles

Sat 10th Feb 2018 23:02

Hi there Fred,

This would make for a fabulous pink Floyd lyric. Just go back in a time machine and hand it over to Syd Barrett.

Suki

Comment is about PULSAR (blog)

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DESMOND CHILDS

Sat 10th Feb 2018 22:54

Thank you you Pat for your comments,much appreciate as always. Very much the same over here in the midlands.



All th best des

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suki spangles

Sat 10th Feb 2018 22:52

And I'm from Merseyside. That whole thing of scouse wit, especially celebrity scouse wit does my head in. I won't name the guilty. Anyway Ray, you capture it perfectly.

Ta-raa!

Suki

Comment is about BRIE de MERSEY (blog)

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<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 10th Feb 2018 22:52

Lovely Ray. Thanks for posting. Col.

Comment is about THE MEASURE OF A POET (blog)

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suki spangles

Sat 10th Feb 2018 22:43

Rest in peace. Condolences to his family.

Suki

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Marc Hawkins

Sat 10th Feb 2018 22:23

"BAD ANGELS" paperback edition available on Amazon

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Marc Hawkins

Sat 10th Feb 2018 22:23

"BAD ANGELS" Kindle edition available on Amazon

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raypool

Sat 10th Feb 2018 21:48

Hey thanks everybody! Gratifying that you read my little poem and also hopefully watch me looking bloody sexy and up for it on the telly. (joking obviously).

Good stuff Cynthia, thanks for enjoying.

Works well, Col - shaken and stirred!

You're a wise man Tony. I couldn't tempt with to the Hairy Bikers then?

Hilarious, David. You've got the idea!

Love to all. Ray

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Marc Hawkins

Sat 10th Feb 2018 21:18

Ah, lol. Ok

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DESMOND CHILDS

Sat 10th Feb 2018 20:41

I am so sorry to hear this news, please accept my condolences.

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 10th Feb 2018 20:35

Belated Birthday greetings Ray and ditto thanks. ??

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Stu Buck

Sat 10th Feb 2018 20:21

terribly sad news. harry was an excellent wordsmith and always came across as a genuine and warm person. i will miss his poetry and his kind and constructive approach to other peoples work.

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raypool

Sat 10th Feb 2018 20:19

Very enjoyable, conjuring up a genuine time capsule moment. A nice easy flow that sweeps us along.

Ray

Comment is about Aberystwyth Scenes, 1970 (blog)

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raypool

Sat 10th Feb 2018 20:15

Beautifully down to earth John. I was only commenting on the cost of kitting out for any of these events, let alone taking part. Not for the working classes surely.

Ray

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raypool

Sat 10th Feb 2018 20:09

Harry's writing was always a pleasure to read, showing an agile and inventive and indeed a young mind. Very sad news. I am sure there will be many who will raise a toast to a lovely man.

Ray

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John Coopey

Sat 10th Feb 2018 19:01

Indeed, MC. I must be careful not to offend anyone!

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 10th Feb 2018 17:38

You're on thin ice with the gods (oops - better include goddesses) of Olympus with this one, JC !

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john short

Sat 10th Feb 2018 14:54

This poem has an excellent elemental vividness that takes the reader right into the experience and I like the central idea of raking up the past which suggests more than one level of meaning. If it was my poem I'd probably leave line 6 as "The shrill of a panicking blackbird" just to avoid a build-up of gerunds but that's just my opinion. There are probably quite a few magazines on the circuit that would love this, it's the kind of poetry that goes down well.

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Tom Harding

Sat 10th Feb 2018 13:49

Thanks both!

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<Deleted User> (18980)

Sat 10th Feb 2018 13:43

Good stuff. A sad indictment of the times I'm afraid, but don't let the bastards grind you down.

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<Deleted User> (9882)

Sat 10th Feb 2018 11:07

ta muchly for the invite Marc but Asda and Tesco are beckoning!

might catch you later?






Rose ?

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 10th Feb 2018 11:06

Belated Birthday greetings Ray and ditto thanks. ??

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Cathy Crabb

Sat 10th Feb 2018 10:49

Thanks Cynthia xxxxx

Comment is about Under The Hammer (blog)

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Greg Freeman

Sat 10th Feb 2018 10:46

Hi David, I don't think I saw your comment on this poem at the time. Thank you very much for it, and for sharing your experiences. Best, Greg

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<Deleted User> (9882)

Sat 10th Feb 2018 10:37

Tina, just because I've printed this off for reading again and again and again and again doesn't mean to say I like it!

?






Rose ?

Comment is about Erotic Naughty Poems (blog)

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<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 10th Feb 2018 09:39

delicious with a bowl of hot scouse

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Jeff Dawson

Sat 10th Feb 2018 06:45

Good stuff Eve, and welcome to WOL! X?

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carol falaki

Fri 9th Feb 2018 19:22

Not a word wasted here David. Every line tells a story and takes the reader in. Great

Comment is about 'Roots and branches' by David T Jones is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Feb 2018 17:12

Cathy, you're a scream.

Comment is about Under The Hammer (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Feb 2018 17:05

Welcome to WOL, Maki. I admire your honesty. Thinking is essential to poetry, so you are off to a great beginning. And writing definitely helps to 'sort things out'. You may find a 'free style' is a good way to start, without being hassled with rhyme. But, maybe, you actually enjoy that challenge. Whichever, always read over what you've written and ask yourself, 'What is here that I can say with fewer words, better ones?' I think that was the best advice I ever got. And I try to practise it always. So - have a thesaurus handy, the writer's best friend. And use it. Broaden your 'well of words' every day. Your mind can express only as much as your words allow. They are your 'tool' for building ideas for your own eyes and for others to share.

And a pure 'love of writing' is a wonderful thing - very demanding, but so rewarding.

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Nigel Astell

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:51

Good luck to Nicola Hulme

Who will be at - - -

Harry Potter Book Festival being held at Stockport Art Gallery

11 am - 3 pm Sunday 11th February

All young Witches Warlocks and Wizards are wellcome
as long as they drag Mums and Dads with them too!

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:48

Strong and true. Well said. The final line is excellent.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:32

Much enjoyed.

Comment is about BRIE de MERSEY (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:30

Clever - much appreciated.

Comment is about Complex mathematics, Oldbury (blog)

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Nigel Astell

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:27

Discarded

Blue brown yellow green
silver sweet paper wrappers
they fly without care
like absent minded eater
enjoying flavours more than
harmful action they take
while always walking past
eager to take bin.

The theme for Monday night is - - - running in the wind.

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

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raypool

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:03

Really clever take on the fantasy that is the printed garden, unavoidably hopeless and fruitless for me at any rate. Success in the garden comes at a heavy price. I especially like it as it appeared on my birthday, Tommy! (Is that a good sign, fingers crossed).

Ray

Comment is about snip snip (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:01

Welcome to WOL, Saniya. That is a lovely name. Does it have a special history, or is it a delightful new way to be just 'you'?

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raypool

Fri 9th Feb 2018 15:47

I love the way the media conveys news that minimises any advantages the UK may gain from withdrawal from European rules and regulations, thus strangling the new born at birth, even during its conception. Plenty of vim, harpic and hot towels need apply, Steve. In any case, the Math Haiku is intriguing itself. The title is excellent, a sort of dumbing down.

Ray

Comment is about Complex mathematics, Oldbury (blog)

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