A Grave Mistake!
Alf and Elsie - such a pair. Inseparable, throughout.
A paragon of ‘love and care’ (no shadow of a doubt).
Down’t pit until retirement, Alf was ‘Yorkshire, born and bred’.
Which met his wife’s requirement (strong int th’arm and thick int th’ead!)
But, after sixty years of bliss, came by ‘that dreadful day’
when Alfie, with a tender kiss, sent Elsie ‘on ...
Friday 23rd July 2021 3:50 pm
A 'Brush' with Art !
I think I'll take up painting.
Could it really be that tough?
To swish a brush across the canvas
....spreading ‘oil-based stuff’.
Lots of people do it
and make money on the side.
But the trick to this is selling them
to folk (..... before you’ve died!)
Da Vinci and his ‘Masters’
could have flogged a few more ‘Greats’,
Monday 19th July 2021 6:36 pm
Apologies, in advance, for the rude words !
Folk who pee in public places (treating them as ‘loos’).
‘Concert-girls’, on partners’ shoulders, blocking others’ views.
Kids that kick your airplane seat whilst parents just ignore.
Gits who queue-jump at the bar -‘though you were there before.
Those who walk straight past you, without thanks .... or smiles.... or nods....
Wednesday 6th January 2021 11:33 pm
”You can’t put old heads on young shoulders!”, they say.
But I think that I may have ‘come-up’ with a way,
involving some sawing - and stitching - and glue
(and a bit of a ‘heads-up’, in just what to do!).
But, if I decided to give it a ‘bash’,
that would leave a spare head and a body (to stash)!
Which seems such a waste of a woman or man.
So, now I’ve develop...
Wednesday 6th January 2021 9:21 am
So, now those ‘Man-Size’ tissues
are named ‘Extra-Large’ instead.
It’s another “sexist” issue
that is messing with me ‘ead!
It seems, the major problem
is all centred around ‘Man’.
Folk find this word offensive
but I’m ‘flummoxed’ if I can !
I’m fearing for the future
if this nonsense carries on.
‘Cos they’ll ban the ‘Man’ from everything
Tuesday 5th January 2021 10:58 pm
My mother’s mother, Granny Brown
was ‘muchly-loved’ (once) in our town.
The care she gave; her happy ways.
She cheered us, in her ‘ember days’.
She liked to knit, but not to sell.
Such quality, (oh, you could tell!).
Each item, thoroughly bespoke
- for gifting to specific folk.
“Gran, that’s great !” I’d often shout.
“You knit them, then you han...
Tuesday 5th January 2021 10:13 am
I met this gorgeous woman for some ‘afternoon-delight’.
When we ventured back to her place (well and truly ‘outta-sight’!).
We scurried up the stairs and very soon were ‘in flagrante’.
My clothes were off as she approached, in just her bra and panties.
We intertwined, to ‘moan and grind’, intent on pure ‘amour’
But soon were interrupted by the thumping of a door.
Sunday 3rd January 2021 9:33 am
When, first I began on the ‘poetry’ scene,
my brain wasn’t ready. Let’s say “a bit ‘green’”?
A “bull-at-a-gate” (if you know what I mean)
and ended up racing - a little too keen !
There’s a challenging issue in having Verse, rhyme.
Writing ‘couplets’ that match, yet make sense every time.
Which, sometimes presents a ‘huge mountain to climb’
(if you seek to avoid the ‘mund...
Saturday 2nd January 2021 9:12 pm
Jack and Jill were getting wed.
(Jack’s dad thought, Jill was nice).
“But, let me give you, Son,” he said
“some fatherly advice.
On the day, I wed yer mam
I nipped ‘er straight indoors.
And, being ‘t sort of bloke I am
I soon laid down the laws.
I boldly took mi trousers off
and told ‘er, ‘put ‘em on.’
She drowned within a sea of cloth...
Sunday 23rd February 2020 3:41 pm
A 'Valued' Friend!
Frank, tonight, is working late.
The doorbell rings; it’s Frankie’s mate.
“Liz, you need to know”, smiles Ken.
“Frank won’t be home ‘til half-past ten.
I said, I’d drop in, as I pass,
to tell you of his news, alas.”
“It’s nice of you to think of me.”
Beams Lizzy, “Would you like some tea?”
And so they share a brew and chat;
Saturday 22nd February 2020 1:17 pm
The Trouble With Nuts!
The trouble with nuts is, they’re very elusive.
But, don’t take my word as completely conclusive.
It’s just that, it seems, though, whenever they're freed
they scatter and hide - which is not what you need!
Consider the case of a doctor, I knew.
Took his car for a spin ( and to ‘pose’ in it, too).
A well-mannered man - but you wouldn’t think th...
Friday 21st February 2020 9:52 pm