'Sign' of the Times (Reflections on 'Rude'!)


Apologies, in advance, for the rude words !


Folk who pee in public places (treating them as ‘loos’).

‘Concert-girls’, on partners’ shoulders, blocking others’ views.

Kids that kick your airplane seat whilst parents just ignore.

Gits who queue-jump at the bar -‘though you were there before.


Those who walk straight past you, without thanks .... or smiles.... or nods.

And leave you holding open doors, to fume. (”Ungrateful sods!”)

Yet, most of these I could abide - with ‘sharp intakes of breath’.

Apart from one - where I’d put culprits (happily) to death!


This happens on a road, where only one car can ‘get through’.

A flash of lights; I’m beckoned. (Such a ‘lovely’ thing to do!)

In thanking them, I’ll wave and smile or throw a pleasant gaze.

And life is ‘sugar-coated’ as we make our merry ways!


Another narrow alley looms, but ‘roles’ will be reversed.

The ‘sugar-flow’ has sweetened me, in putting others first.

I move to flash my invitation. “Come on through”, I’ll say.

But, wait . . . They are not stopping. They were coming, anyway !


My face is such a picture as the ‘sugar turns to shit’.

And ‘insult adds to injury’; that’s not the end of it !

The ‘buggers’ drive straight past you, with no hint of gratitude.

Which is more than just annoying - it’s the height of ‘Bloody rude’!


But, worse to come - I’m ‘un-resolved’. I’ve now an ‘itch to scratch’!

They’ve passed me now, and missed my anger, left for them to catch.

That shit’s now turned ‘acidic’ which (each time) corrodes, a fraction.

So, the last time, this occurred I, then decided to take action!


I rooted out a 'scrolling' neon-sign (from my back shed)

and fiddled with the ‘works’ so it writes backwards, now instead!

Then found out how (from ‘Google’) to install it in my car

so that, through the rear-windscreen, you can see it from afar.


Now, when selfish-pillocks ‘pull such stunts’, then drive away.

My efforts have ensured that they no longer spoil my day.

I’ll honk my horn and flick a switch....but ‘things’ ain’t left at that.

My sign will flash up “! TAWT A TAHW”.....but their mirrors yell “WHAT A TWAT!”.


Humourhumorous versefunny versefunny poemsfunny poetryhumorous poetryhumorous poems

◄ “Old Heads on Young Shoulders”! 

Knocking 'the Spots' off Each Other! ►


Profile image

John Andrew Nield

Fri 8th Jan 2021 21:20

Comforting to hear that I'm not the sole inhabitant of that 'Desert of Despair', Mr Coopey ! ?

Profile image

John Coopey

Fri 8th Jan 2021 16:23

Quite right, John. My own betes noires are people who constantly sniffle or, worse still, hoik up phlegm in their throats. I understand the right to bear arms!

Profile image

John Andrew Nield

Thu 7th Jan 2021 18:26

Yes,, I also try to adopt your coping strategy, Mark. It's just that the 'red mist' drifts over with each further episode! I must try harder! ?

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Thu 7th Jan 2021 16:05

Ho-ho...so many of us must have experienced something of the kind
when out driving. I recall an item like a table tennis bat that had
plastic "leaves" carrying messages ranging from the apologetic to the rude, attached by rings which enabled a chosen message to be flipped up and held out from the window. But the best way is that
taught to police drivers back in the day - always to assume that the
other driver is a congenital idiot and to smile and wave benignly at
any transgressor one might meet. It always works for me!? .

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message