It is our extreme pleasure

To cast open our doors for you

And present for your lifestyle and leisure

The incomparable Urinal View

Imagine yourself on summer days

On your balcony facing the strand

Absorbing ultraviolet rays

Where the lavatories stand

Twenty-two exclusive apartments

Designed for the fortunate few

With an open Northerly aspect

Overhanging the public loo

Enjoy the vista of White Rocks

And the Causeway’s craggy face

Looming above the toilet block

In this pungent, salty place

For night time assignations

Under a lover’s Moon

The pee masks the perspiration

It’s less sandy than the dunes

And as you gaze blissfully, wistfully west

At every cruiser, yacht and skiff

Consider yourself truly blessed

When the distinctive, deluxe whiff

The misted musk of affluence

A complex, primal scent

Blends with seasoned effluence -

Truly heaven sent

 

Nibbling tempura squid

Sipping an al fresco fizz

This view cost one point two million quid

(Shame about the smell of piss)