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Size Matters!

Size Matters!

 

Jack and Jill were getting wed.

(Jack’s dad thought, Jill was nice).

“But, let me give you, Son,” he said

“some fatherly advice.

 

On the day, I wed yer mam

I nipped ‘er straight indoors.

And, being ‘t sort of bloke I am

I soon laid down the laws.

 

I boldly took mi trousers off

and told ‘er, ‘put ‘em on.’

She drowned within a sea of cloth

...

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A 'Valued' Friend!

A 'Valued' Friend!

 

Frank, tonight, is working late.

The doorbell rings; it’s Frankie’s mate.

“Liz, you need to know”, smiles Ken.

“Frank won’t be home ‘til half-past ten.

 

I said, I’d drop in, as I pass,

to tell you of his news, alas.”

“It’s nice of you to think of me.”

Beams Lizzy, “Would you like some tea?”

 

And so they share a brew and chat;

some thoug...

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The Trouble With Nuts!

The Trouble With Nuts!

 

The trouble with nuts is, they’re very elusive.

But, don’t take my word as completely conclusive.

It’s just that, it seems, though, whenever they're freed

they scatter and hide - which is not what you need!

 

Consider the case of a doctor, I knew.

Took his car for a spin ( and to ‘pose’ in it, too).

A well-mannered man - but you wouldn’t think th...

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A 'Snitch' in Time!

A ‘Snitch’, in Time !

 

My mother’s mother, Granny Brown

was ‘muchly-loved’, (once) in our town.

The care she gave; her happy ways.

She cheered us in her ‘ember days’.

 

She liked to knit but not to sell.

Such quality. (oh, you could tell!)

Each item, thoroughly bespoke

- for giving to specific folk.

 

“Gran, that’s great !” i’d often shout.

“You knit them th...

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