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Five Dollar Words

To expunge them from my mind

That's the only thing I wish I could do for myself that I feel utterly incapable of doing

I'm at war with my thoughts and memories

Old wounds echoing in the present

Ripping my heart as fresh as it tore years ago

A different face, a different name

An altogether different entity and demeanor

But I can hear the words from your mouth as if he's spoken ...

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abuseDepressiondomestic violenceemotional abuseexeshurtlow self-esteempaintears

True Story

This is how messed up it was...

Last night, my husband woke up and was cuddling me, then touching me, then we both were wide awake in intimacy. It was beautiful. It always is.

Then after, the doubt creeped in.

Chris lied. Chris always lied. I would wake up in the middle of the night to him touching himself to pictures on the internet. Once I woke up and he was staring at pictures of a wom...

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abusedomestic abusedomestic violenceemotional abuseexesgaslightingIntimacyliarliesmind gamessex

The GD Devil

I remember the fire in his eyes, burning red and hot like the devil's. Sometimes it was just a flicker, a blink, and a temporary fade when we were out in public. Other times it lit and caught and consumed his entire person and mine as well. I melted under the heat of those flames. It melted my strength, my dignity, everything I stood for. It made me feel weak. It burnt me, enough to carry those sa...

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abusedomestic abusedomestic argumentsdomestic violenceemotional abusenarcissistic abusepainphysical abusespousal abuse

YOU

The following poem  “You” is the completion of my very first trilogy.

The first poem being    “Parts of me”

The second    “Heart broken”

(The use of two words is intentional.)

 

Although posted here at WOL in a relatively short time, these three poems were written several years apart.

 

YOU

Roadworks roadworks in my mind

Excavations’ deep to find

To what’s all this su...

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emotional abusemental abuseMental Freedomparting is bitter sweet

The better hand eventually turns

I never made it as the number one
Every time it hits me, I sing this song
Helps remind me I'm not the only one
That you would happily, see gone

I tried to tell myself that I'm mistaken
Surely this should be, my newfound haven 
Instead I feel like I'm locked down in your basement 
Living on time that's already over-spent 

You can't say you never knew that 
I saw you as gold, 14 carat 
...

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angeremotional abusefor song and poetry inspirationhatredliesLost lovemanipulationrelationshipstapping into songsvictim rising

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