i wait for you to be better

softer, like i know you can be

kindness slips through the cracks

but right when i see,

you stuff it back in like it was a dream

you wait for me to be worse

slip up, even the playing field you cursed

but i never sharpen my words

even when it’s deserved

in a few months, or years

when the last straw breaks my heart

i’ll break the sound barr...

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Beautiful to be fallen in a love with you my beloved

A union two twin flames

theirs
one old soul’s
shared nostalgia

about
our actions, how we react
an intertwined mind
quale, in the way we act
an ordeal with life
born into circumstance

chaotic
the conundrum
all of the elements and alignments required
the complexity of an immaculate conception
the manifestation of a woman and...

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roses are red, like a kiss, a stamp, a heart that has bled

or white, like doves, a dress, a jewel shining in the light

you, my friends, are yellow

not like dirty snow or old stains in carpet;

yellow like the sun that blinds us on our walk,

stars we gaze at from different windows until we look away,

keys that unlock us with every little talk

i picked the freshest flowers for my...

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I wandered through the endless night
In silence where time hides its light
The stars, old friends, so wise and true
Whispered secrets the wind blew through

A sea of shadows, longing deep
Where past and solitude would sweep
Each step a verse, a gentle rhyme
Each verse a prayer, a fleeting chime

I thought of love, so far, so rare
Like rivers flowing, always there
In your gaze, the worl...

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To Akshita,

 

You are my cousin, but those words don’t define
The bond we share, rare and divine.
More than family, you’re my truest friend,
A place where my chaos finds its end.

In childhood, you stood a little apart,
But time wove you deeply into my heart.
You didn’t play, we were just two names,
Yet now, we are one in life’s vast games.

Now you’re the one who sees my soul,
In...

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an epitaph
covered in overgrown grass
numbers and a letter encrypted,
written to the deceased,
for only those who knew him
you’d truly understand

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attempts
online attachments
“Hooks & Worm” viruses
hosted— a parasite

on the web
spider crabs
In their net

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The Merrie City Serenade

Behind the market hall, riding the Ark

Hand in hand lovers strolling through the park

Carving their initials deep in the bark

on this Merrie City Serenade

Old men and teenagers sitting in The Chance

Ian and Peter refusing to dance

Across the mighty Rafters dance floor expanse

to the Merry City Serenade

On Cannonball hill beneath a ...

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I was taken from this horrible place
All dark and cold and covered in waste
Separated from my sisters and brothers
Now in a cold prison with so many others

Pushed on the floor in a steel cage
Nothing for warmth, will I be here an age
They pushed in some scaps and a few drops of water
And wrote my name down on the next list for slaughter

Light coming in I awaken to cries
This man bangs...

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you told me i’d only fail

laugh at my hopes and dreams

you act as if i’m frail

there’s often reoccurring themes 

you know i’m not dumb 

it’s just that you don’t care

so don’t ask me for gum

and don’t you give me that stare

i don’t know how we ever got along 

we’re opposites like the moon and the sun

you probably think you’re the moon, but i think that you’re...

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Astronauts were packing it in.

​​​​​Wrapping up a long mission

when the ships sensors had a vision.
Beyond the hill of ice.
On a planet deemed to have no life.
A sign of life before them
beyond the hill were penguins.
Sliding down the peak
with Popsicles in their beaks.
A bundle over polar bears
sat watching in folding chairs
on the planet of Coldairus.

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They say that change is a part of life,

Alright,

If everything were to stay the same,

Forever,

I will be bored out of life,

But there are always some things,

That I want,

For eternity,

Like my love for chocolates, maybe,

Or my stupid childish desires and wishes,

Gazing at stars all night,

Or feeling the warmth of sun,

On me, as I let my imaginations run wild,

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Writing a character reference
for a friend
for someone I thought I knew
to mitigate their crimes
to ease them on their future journey
humbled, kneecapped and sore
Two thoughts spring to mind…

What good have they done
and how can it be expressed
Were they always the first to lend a hand
were they always there for those in need
Which of their actions
should I recall and paint in colour
...

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Writing for a friend here…

He knows early morning wake ups,

     measures life in coffee cups.

He knows brunch time habitats,

     gauges wealth in catch-up chats.

He knows evening drink delights,

     treasures life in plentiful pints. 

He knows routine late lock-ins,

     taxes his crumbling self-discipline.

He knows nighttime wide awake,

  ...

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There was talk of train trips

     and long-distance walks.

There was talk of mountains

     and open water sports.

There was talk of eating wild

     with and without forks.

There was talk of the pub

     and stopping for shorts.

There was talk of diary strain

     and see after vacations.

There was talk of cash constrain

     and deferred decisions.

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We’ll eat well when one of us goes,

when Paul passes, when Dave no shows.

We’ll eat well when it's Tony’s turn,

chicken drumsticks, sausages nice and burnt.

Bring out the quiche,

bring out the pork pies,

cold rice salads and lots of fries.

We eat good when someone dies.

We’ll miss friends when the next time comes,

yearn for their company and gone wisdom.

We’...

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All this world,

Is one big stage,

And we star as mere actors,

In its brilliant plays.

Every face, a pretty smile,

But Is it truly what meets the eye?

"We my dear, are best of friends,

 Joy, or despair, 

 I'll be near.

 Cotton clouds,

 Or coarse sand,

 Side by side,

 Hand in hand.

 One day, at last,

 Harsh winds?

 They'll have to pass." 

The...

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As young men, we ran through this town
chasing the madness
at the bottom of every bottle
and the warmth of teenage smiles
honeyed with the promise
of new experience

Spinning from bar to bar, pushing the limits
of our bodies capacity for self-destruction
and regeneration
snow melting from our clothes
as we sat and drank and laughed
in the Christmas evening air

Tonight, we’re trying ...

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Never told you

I never told you
How much I really loved you
or how much I really did care
That is my biggest mistake

I would do anything for you
Even lay down my life
In place of yours
Without a moments hesitation

I never told you
How stupid I felt around you
Or how you took my breath away
And I regret not telling you

But if I told you now
Would you believe me
Would it even...

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The Tracks Of My Years

We sat cross legged in summer dusk

A smoky haze passing through

Admired artwork airbrushed

In fantastic swirls of colour

Reading words in synchronised

Staccato with the music

Flowing from the stereo

Simpler times

Longer hair

No aching joints

I wish we could do that again

But friends disappear like exhaled smoke

And some a...

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I have entered this new chapter of my life,

But it feels like the past is not so far behind.

I wish you were here to see the person who I have become today,

I wish you were here to tell me that it was going to be okay.

From seeing each other almost everyday,

To not having spoken to each other for over a year seems like hell.

I wish you were here to get me out of this mess,

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A Dim Afterparty

Thou shall never know if words could ever suffice

Nor should the laws of nature bound the mind to the earth

For we exist as long as the fade of eternal light

Brings a dimming to the afterparty as we find it cannot always be night

And though our hands feel our knees and our locked chests

Some can see clearly yet roam in the subconscious dark depths

In a ...

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 I want to distant you.

It's not because of you but because of me.

I think what's between us is not meant to be.

I don't want our friendship to break into a fight.

So it's better to distant, at least for a while.

It's not easy but I have to,

if not for me then at least for you.

what I am is something you'll not understand.

For it, you don't even have to pretend.

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Those stories we swap
in the heat of the night
Those secrets we share
on the cool mattress springs
Beyond the ears of the world
the prying eye of the sun
that’s where you’ll feel
our friendship in full flight

In real life
In real life

Those laughs that catch us
loose and disarmed
in a parked car at the riverside
Those conversations deep
that push through to the bone
binding our ...

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We lose each other once in a while
We find ourselves in others
most of the time
We may meet some, fresh living and brand new
Forget about the ones we lost, completing one another

Or, on the contrary, at times
We meet again - how different
Forget about the new ones
And turn our faces to the bits of ourselves
we have missed in each other

We live through people
I live through you all
...

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Explaining you about my sexuality won't help
Explaining you about my existence won't help
Thought you are my buddy, will get me without explaining much.
I am just a bit different, can't you get this much.

I know you have a life partner to share all your tensions,
And wanted me to be happy, and feel all that emotions,
But I am happy just by myself,
You again and again telling me what to do...

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You,

made me feel something

Something I've been trying to avoid for awhile now.

You,

made me feel safe.

Made me feel loved.

Made me feel like the only girl in the world

In your arms, no bad could happen.

In your arms, I was safe.

In your arms, I was loved. 

This unfamiliar feeling made me uneasy

Made me doubtful

Made me question everythi...

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The sweetest memories hang
like negatives
in the dark room of my mind
I develop them occasionally
picturing again 
more exciting times

Yellows and browns begin to wash
across the leaves outside my window
I haven’t seen you in the flesh
since those shoots were new
it feels so long ago

We ran through those streets
as if we owned them
spinning endlessly from bar to bar
from joke to ...

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When I walked through the path,
Alone in the moonlight stars.
I found a stranger wearing smile,
Didn't know the feelings behind
Walked with her and saw a different world
'There I got a new family' - I loved
Didn't know we could get so close
That my life could be disastrous if we broke.
Hiding the feelings behind and faking the smile they left.
Hope of meeting again is the only thing they ...

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Encouraged by comments on my latest blog - and reminded that I always intend to post my blogs on WOL and usually get distracted before doing so - I'm repeating a blog from a few weeks ago which I didn't post here. With thanks to those who commented on the last one!

I've been thinking about what happens next. There's been a lot of talk in the press, and shared posts on social media, about t...

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Minds meeting
words spoken
stories shared
world is hushed
but inside we are all screaming
waiting for the tomorrows
when our meetings will be filled with embraces,
with kisses,
with reading a silent stare
and we will know what they mean
not just from a frozen screen
but for a reflection of all time

We are all waiting for the tomorrows
we will no longer meet in solitude
but a meetin...

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We met there in the bar
most nights
the same drink
the same table
conversing over troubles
we leaned on each other 
in those long nights 

This night
I sit and wait
at the same table
with the same drink
you hadn’t arrived yet
and I linger for hours
wondering 

Nights like this pass
was it something I said
was there someone new
what was it keeping you

Then you arrive one night...

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I saw your face after 8 months of absence

Could have avoided it by taking another path

But I pressed on

Faced the challenge

Saw your smile

And I felt nothing

No joy

No pain

No love

Only the regret that I gave you more than you ever deserved

I relived the moment a hundred times

I could have said so many things 

I could have taken the high road and be pleasan...

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A honk and a wave,

a smile greets you

not able to place the face

but you comply

exchange greetings

then she questions your well-being

Scrolling through the latest developments 

you pick an appropriate response,

‘I’m hanging in there. Happy Thanksgiving.’

She returns with the same, 

then disappears into the sea of lights

She is too kind

this is not the ...

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Willpower and discipline,
have long been two of the 
most despised words in the 
english language to me.

What character flaw prevents  
the willpower and discipline
necessary to be the person
I imagine myself capable of being?

A half-lived life is heartbreaking.
There is no acceptable excuse, 
not age or disability.

Even people with no limbs 
live empowered lives 
built on willp...

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The way I write…
I brainstorm twenty titles
words or phrases
that sound good to me
that subconsciously
already feel like parts of me
then I refine them
and refine them
pile them up around my feet

And when I’m in the mood to write
I’ll either start writing
(with aim or aimlessly)
until I get stuck
then I grab a title
work it in the lock
release whatever’s hidden
(and it feels good...

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As I walked

through the garden dew

'tween clipped box and shapely yew,

'tween hard hornbeam and

'tween friends

a perfect peace descends

As I walked

from the round green room

past dusky shade and roses' bloom,

past shapely hedge and

past huge urns

the garden quiet returns

As I walked

in the lakeside glory

to the enchanted terrace torri,

to the ...

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It’s not love they play it’s another game

Where what matters is who can count the most

Playing duck and dive, surfers search for fame

Notching names upon digital bedposts

Their followers adore them with their likes

Each character praised as if from God

If their own petard hoists them onto spikes

Then surely, it’s the crowd that has turned odd.

Their ledger marking...

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One night a week I go out for a beer

To visit with friends and seek out good cheer

Its open mike, tho I do not play

I do sing along and cheer away.

There's always the regulars, there's Jeff and there's John

And sometimes Bobby will be around

Newbies are cool and always a treat

But the show that can't ever be beat...

Malcolm! They always save him til the end

With his keyb...

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We took acid

Saw things

We stumbled across 

Hull university

Fields

With reds and yellows

Blues and glowing

Things floating

In our heads

So funny

We laughed

And called and yelled

And danced

And pretended

We were famous

Musicians

And we went home

We became a football team

And kicked the ball in

The living room

Where we did

Everythin...

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Make it easy. Do it simple.

Just pray for God, to bless.

Love colleagues, & friends.
 
Surely, you gain a higher success,

Do it now, don't delay it.

Do it again, day by day.

Get that job, reach the top.

Not impossible, just try.

Do advise, every friend.

Shiny future, comes at end.

Do your best. Now, get rid.

Of any weakness, at any wind.

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The Theater

Today, we're together 

Tomorrow, we're apart 

As Cinema .. as the Theater, 

An End for the Start 

Thanks to God for Life 

To work .. earn and learn 

Pray .. to keep Survive 

Happiness to reach and Yearn 

Surely, you're assigned 

For a role to achieve a goal 

Unless you've that mind 

You need to heal your soul

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When you get writer's block
go for a walk

find a friend 
have a talk

blow bubbles
spin a top

count stars
watch birds flock

whatever you do 

don't stare 
at a blank page

as the clock
goes tick-tock. 
 

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We all die someday

But in our own way.

Some even commit suicide

As their troubles, they can’t hide.

By the thin thread of life we go

When it ends, we do not know.

It can happen to the young

Because of the cancer lung.

You’ll be remembered by friends,

Up to the moment when their life ends.

Your family members will grieve

Telling about the things you achie...

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You know, my life,

Let’s just be friends!

We’ve nothing have to share.

You look like me:

My face, my eyes, my ear …

You are my life, my inevitability,

I am your tiny fragile destiny.

Like a wind, you carry me quick,

Or send me quietness and calm.

And I believe you’ll save me,

 You’ll never see me like a junk

Or never see me ever drunk.

Life! Be my friend!

Let...

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You are the art of my dreams. 

The muse of my thoughts 

and the sweetness of my soul. 

a gentle aura surrounding mine 

sending messages through the skin and bone 

what a funny way to live, 

what a peaceful time 

to be alive. 

to dare what is romance between the reality of life and visions

to desire not only a life 

but two paths in one.

-G. N. D. 

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If you should fall down again
And find yourself needing a friend
I will always be here by your side
Please don't shut yourself in and hide
I will hold your hand through the pain
You will beat these demons again
Together we will pull you out
Of the fountains creating doubt
I will stick with you all the while
Hoping to see you yet again smile
You are never on your own
In my arms you have ...

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Friends of old, friends of new
Friends who want to help you
Friends of penny, friends of wealth
Friends who're ill, friends of health
Friends of knowledge, friends of wisdom
Friends who are your support system
Friends of youth, friends of age
Friends who free you from your cage
Friends of love, friends of mutual hate
Friends who are early, friends who're late
Friends who are near, friend...

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You may think that friendships will never last
That is, until you rekindle one from your past
Sometimes we disconnect as time goes by
But that isn't any cause to be sad or cry
If destiny and  fate cross your paths once more
You will feel at home again, no longer sore
We leave finger prints on one another's souls
That keep us marked until we are grey and old
Time may hold many turns and cha...

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My love, I need you.

Here I am falling in love with the beauty of the world.

Waiting for you, as if it were the end of the world.

I do not mind the wait,

I have the time.

But I have to be honest,

I need you.

I've felt you before,

and that's fine

Someday I'll see you,

and I'll know.

And even if you do not know, it's fine.

I have love to give and loves will ...

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