You,

 

made me feel something

Something I've been trying to avoid for awhile now.

 

You,

 

made me feel safe.

Made me feel loved.

Made me feel like the only girl in the world

 

In your arms, no bad could happen.

In your arms, I was safe.

In your arms, I was loved. 

 

This unfamiliar feeling made me uneasy

Made me doubtful

Made me question everything.

 

It's not my fault i've been fucked over so many times in the past.

My mindset is: if I leave first you can’t hurt me. 

That’s normal. Right?

 

I’m still a good person. Right?

No. fuck you. Ugly ass. Yes. I love you. You’re beautiful

My mind constantly causes me to disassociate.

 

To him,

I was enough

I was beautiful

I was loved

I was caring

I was comforting

 

To myself,

I was not enough

I was ugly

I was unlovable

I was heartless

I was a burden

 

If only I believed him.

If only I stayed.

If only I realized the impact it made.