Hm! Cattle would that be Maipenrai? :-)
Manchester wholesale perhaps?

Janet.x

Comment is about The Meat Market (blog)

Here she is again.
I adore your poetry Carol. You always seem to turn up with something original at the precise time on wol. A great little poem this one. :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about Plum (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Winston ... too personal, as if it were casual conversation. To my mind, good poetry must have intensity, however simple the words, like your 'Last Tommy' which has power. My "Peacock" idea has power too, but it isn't immediately obvious; it shuffles along instead of striding. Thanks much.

Cynthia

Comment is about The Peacock (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

A tasty dish of a poem, Carol!

Comment is about Plum (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

I enjoyed this Carol. There is a sort of richness of appreciation in it. It does a very good job of tuning the reader to what is going on around us as Autumn approaches. Cheers indeed

Comment is about Plum (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Ey-up back Gus
Thanks for the comment/suggestions for Life-Line.
I only placed Masturbation where it is as I thought that this is/was when it became a full-time occupation (also because of the Tony Blair Ed; Ed; Ed speech)
Constipation did occur to me but I found it hard to squeeze it in (or out for that matter)
Many other ....ations came to mind after it was written, but I tend to try and keep my 'poems' as they were when they came out of my fingers.
I am humbled by your comments
Thanks again
Steve M.

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I love your attitude Gus : )

Comment is about Advice to Peter Andre on Marketing (blog)

Original item by Mark Niel

Hi Cynthia, not sure how something can be too personal when it comes to poetry. Do you mean self indulgent? I started reading this and was wanting to read on and know more yet was thrown a little by the lack of structure and personal style which left me wondering whether I was reading a poem or a story (perhaps this is what you mean by too personal) Some of the lines have great descriptive words "Draping its iridescent eyes" and "The last gleaming vision before dreams" yet others are more straight forward. Maybe it is this shift that is causing me some problems... In any case I can see the painting and can see the bird and this vision will probably be with me as I drop off tonight. Iam interested in whether "plain" writing using simple words carefully chosen can still be great poetry. see my last post. Win x

Comment is about The Peacock (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Bullshit... may be the answer...

Comment is about Advice to Peter Andre on Marketing (blog)

Original item by Mark Niel

Hey up Steve,
The first 'Masturbation' is played in a little late ... just after Education (1).... I think... Later in life
Re-Education?? Deprevation... Elation Creation....Constipation...

Masturbation is best though... Great poem ThanksGus

Comment is about Life-Line (blog)

The best observation of life I have read so far. The word association is beyond reproach. Love it! - and really glad I sat down and read it properly - initially the c-section bit put me off, which after giving birth 5 times I suppose it would -very unique, and love the existential thread that runs through it. It's like a stream of consciousness.

Comment is about Life-Line (blog)

Thanks for putting my show on the gig guide, David. Map too! Nice to see you last week.

Tim.

Comment is about David Andrew (poet profile)

Original item by David Andrew

You made my day with your lovely compliment Dave...
It was most appreciated ; )

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Rodney
Interesting subject... Liked the repeating line and especially liked the lines
cars wipe their eyes
and streets hide their faces.
Winston

Comment is about HOW TO BE DEAD (blog)

Original item by Rodney Wood

Peter Who?

Comment is about Advice to Peter Andre on Marketing (blog)

Original item by Mark Niel

Thankyou for your comment

Jessie x

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

thanks Janet.
Bernie

Comment is about The Girl Next Door (blog)

Thanks Janet.

Bernie

Comment is about Born Again (blog)

thanks for your comment Cynthia, wish I could say that your stumble over a few lines was intentional for some reason, but I can't with 'Thanatos', I keep going back to it and trying to edit it a little without losing the feel. It was written fairly quickly in the few quiet moments that I succeeded to snatch last night. Any insight on the stumbles would be greatly appreciated.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I scoff at nothing, and greatly appreciate the mystical or metaphysics which transcends all structured religions. This has a finely woven mood. The 'vacant eyes of washed out skies' is superb. I stumbled on the lines once or twice, but not enough to break the overall flow.

Comment is about Thanatos (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

that is very kind of you, I really appreciate your kind appraisal.
Spencer

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Excellent points, Janet. I'm re-thinking already. I have always found my initial work too personal.

Francine, thanks for your comments. It's wonderful to know that you follow my postings.

Comment is about The Peacock (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I'm with Dave all the way on this one.
I thoroughly enjoy reading this kind of poetry, it resonates with my spiritual working side.
Lovely imagery throughout. (lovely to my mind that is, others might be afraid to see these things)

Janet.x

Comment is about Thanatos (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Hi Cynthia, as you know already, i'm no expert on editing and i'm a little touchy with editing my own but as you asked for ideas i'll insert my thoughts on your poem.

I love the first stanza but perhaps you could de-personalize it by dropping the first line and save the last two lines for the ending?

The last gleaming vision before dreams
and first golden thought upon waking says it all with regards to where the image/painting is seen but maybe it could be left to the reader to decide if this is the image seen within the room or from the bedroom window?

Obviously it is up to you if you'd like the readers to know at the end that it is a piece of art through the eyes of a poet. :-)

It has some great imagery without the bedroom scene but please don't allow my input to sway your own thoughts and feelings as to where you can take this to make it better.

Janet.x

Comment is about The Peacock (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I enjoyed reading this Cynthia. I could relate to the feeling of having something you felt was initially horrendous, eventually grow on you...
I find that your words were descriptive enough to pull me in and make me want to know more...

Très bien : )

Comment is about The Peacock (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you for your comments, they are really appreciated. On a separate note. I love your barge, just the dogs doo daas.
I have always wanted to live on a barge, my friends dad had one and we used to go on it, I loved it. At the bottom of my street is the canal with house boats barges etc - Horsforth-Rodley etc , I walk along some Sundays, beautiful.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Mysoginist is a word which has niggled at my brain for about a week now. It's been used twice in that time on site. Although i've heard the word spoken before i had to look up the definition. It is used well in this poem.

I know i already commented but i keep coming back to read it.
Janet.x

Comment is about New poem: Joke Rape World (blog)

Another fascinating philosophical offering Nicky, with last line perhaps the most provocative of all.

It may be a big hello as well as a goodbye

"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home"

Comment is about Thanatos (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

hey, thanks for your comment on the 'lets chip in and make one big poem'.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

I read this yesterday and thought it wonderful then. I still love it today.

Janet.x

Comment is about The Rustle of Autumn (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Like a water-colour sketch. Beautifully expressed.

Janet.x

Comment is about Porous (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

Clever. I love the line ' greedy as a grave robber at the mouth of a tomb.'

Nice to see a post from you Steve,
Janet.x

Comment is about Light bends (blog)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

Very good indeed. There's a lot packed into this poem and it reads and flows really well. I would hope this isn't something you would consider a 'throw-away' poem. It deserves some airing in various venues.

Janet.x

Comment is about New poem: Joke Rape World (blog)

Marrianne - I like this one. In fact I think its the best of your poems I have read. The rhythm and subject was great
Win x

Comment is about The Silent Birds (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

I think this poem is a classic.
Really good.

Janet.x

Comment is about Catharsis (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

I like this poem. It has some (dare i say dodgy) rhyming schemes in there but performance wise it would go down great i think.
I am talking about the poem by the way :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about MUSE (blog)

Original item by Mia Darlone

Has Spencer offered to perform this one then Steve?

It's certainly different to your other poems.
Janet.x

Comment is about Life-Line (blog)

I've heard it said that true forgiveness comes from within. Some find forgiveness hard to do.
It's a sad fact.

Janet.

Comment is about Born Again (blog)

Ah but appearrances can be deceptive. Who knows what passions lay beneath the surface of her cool demeanor?
Only the brave would dare to venture nearer to find out. Maybe she awaits her hero to unlock the doors of lust within. :-)

Oh well, that's my theory!
Janet.

Comment is about The Girl Next Door (blog)

Hey Rodney I took out the moral, you are right, it speaks for itself, I think that I tried to reinforce it when it was strong enough -- thank you for the comment, I believe it is now a stronger poem.

Comment is about Rodney Wood (poet profile)

Original item by Rodney Wood

Cheers Daniel.
Bernie

Comment is about Pitiful Poets (blog)

Beautifully written Cynthia...
Love the imagery and use of metaphors...
The underlying message is exquisitely woven through : )

Comment is about The Rustle of Autumn (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Well it looks as though it's getting an outing next month. Now I have to learn it and then get my poor old asthmatic lungs ready for it.

Comment is about Life-Line (blog)

Hi Daniel, thanks for your comments on "Pitiful Poets", I think most of us have a little of the drama queen in us.Just read your "samples"impressive mate.
Bernie

Comment is about Daniel Hooks (poet profile)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

A fine poem, but rather painful to think of you in that position -one for the road?
Steve Smith

Comment is about Sunflowers (blog)

Original item by Cate

an excellent series in all mate but this to me is the icing on the cake.
bernie

Comment is about Pointless 14 (blog)

says it all mate, a good un.
bernie

Comment is about Life-Line (blog)

really enjoyed this! Good work Steve x

Comment is about Life-Line (blog)

I'm lost for words to describe the absolute brilliance of this poem! As you already know I have had a few 'muse' recently who have all contributed to my writing. So this is for them, they know who they are x

Comment is about MUSE (blog)

Original item by Mia Darlone

Thank You kindly. Eek

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows