Hi - hydrate - yes, that's what I meant & I agree totally - that spoken (or in your head) "hydrate" seems just fine, but the written word looks a little incongruous - but as you're perfoming, it's not an issue.
I did very nearly ask you once if I could include one of yours on my website (under favourites), but the only reason I didn't was that I'd just added one of Kealan Cody's, one of Ann Foxglove's & one of Anthony Emmerson's - so it was starting to read like a who's who of WOL :) xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

I love to write about a scene set out before me, and nature, and I can see you do too. Often others seem to find that there's no meaning to a descriptive piece, and dismiss it. Maybe they feel that some great big message should be added. I don't know, but I do like this. xx

Comment is about Life (blog)

I think it was the "red throated snaps" made me think of a fox hunter's attire, and the "They wore their bite,dangling wrist snappers" made me think of the "tippet" I think they were called, the head and tail of a fox that used to be worn around a lady's neck. My grandma had one. I remember it was in the depths of her wardrobe when I was little. She didn't like it, but her first husband insisted on buying her one - they were all the rage!

Comment is about And the trees fought back (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

A beautiful poem Freda. I think the immediacy of the pain described stopped me from commenting on it before. Don't know why that should be. Maybe because I've met you? xx

Comment is about Tide Turn (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

i was thinking of a woodcutter but i like the idea of tipping a huntsman off his horse! x

Comment is about And the trees fought back (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

I always love your use of language. Here, for some reason, I see a fox hunting scene (poor fox!). But I have no idea why! xx

Comment is about And the trees fought back (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

so beautiful! I wonder if we held a shell up to our ear could we hear their sweet nothings?

"heavy nothingness" good good. x

Comment is about whale music (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Inspired by an old David Attenburgh prog I happened to catch last night - mating whales. Not a turn on, but suddenly you could see how these wonderful creatures were mammals, just like us, and also I was struck by the vulnerability of the male.

Comment is about whale music (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I somehow can't imagine CAD writing anything too commercial but I guess you never know!
I loved the picture too - it was worth taking part just to get that. It is a pity they didn't get a shot of me at the end of my second poem. I go into the sign of the cross - it would have looked awesome with all that angelic glow!

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Oh that last line is so poignant, Lynn.

I keep meaning to have a go at ghazal too - will get round to it soonish I reckon :)

Love this

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Undulating...one of my favourite words that. Together with somnolent, and tremulous. Sorry, going off on one there!

I like the structure to this. It's something I geek over, structure.

Cormorant eh? I just googled cos know nowt about 'em, and found that 'In the Far East, some fishermen make use of the cormorant's expertise, by training it to catch fish for them' - very interesting.

There's a lot more to this poem than meets the eye - it's dense as anything. Nice one

Comment is about Life (blog)

Hi Winston, thank you for commenting on "Invisible". I was inspired by your excellent blog entry called Ghazal. I didn't think my own effort as good, but hoped it complied with the form. Ah well, nevermind. :)

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hmmm. Thanks Chris. And Steve, Janet, Graham, Laura and Elaine too.

How about

'Don't let the black hound
hang around'

Comment is about Black Dog (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Written quite a few black dog poems myself.I agree that it needs a last line to 'close' it, but that one doesn't seem to be it - to me.
Well done though
Cx

Comment is about Black Dog (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I love the idea of this but it feels unfinished. When I got to the line 'She removed the first veil' I had the idea that you were peelin away layers of her personality along with her veils - a bit like Peer Gynt's onion. It's a co-incidence - I was writing a looking at the layers poem just a couple of days ago :)
Cx

Comment is about Afraid to Dance (blog)

Original item by Ushiku Crisafulli

Thanks,Steve. Judging by feedback most people prefer it when I do rhyme! Think I killed this poem with the title. Should have stuck with original title - What to do at Funerals.I'm in permanent existential crisis but I've learnt to live with it.

Comment is about The Death Of Me (blog)

Hi Greg Thanks for the comment on Bookshop.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Like this very much. Am not a dog lover in the least, in fact I'm quite frightened of them as they definitely don't like me, but I've never understood why anyone would have a dog and then just let it out to roam the streets.
Anyway - interesting poem.
Cx

Comment is about Frieze (blog)

Some interesting ideas in this Ann, but it feels, to me, very much like a first draft.
Cx

Comment is about dust (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

That's a great profile pic, Isobel: bathed in a glow under a picture of the cheeky moptop Scouser. I wonder if Carol Ann Duffy will produce a poem to mark the 30th anniversary? She must do, it's her duty

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

What an amazing poem this is Isobel... the best new poem I have read on this rememberance this year. thankyou . Win x

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Lynn, It is not a Ghazal in the classical form but many modern poets have chosen to take bits and pieces of the traditional to make [what they call] a ghazal. This could perhaps fall into this category. But actually does it matter to you? If not then it doesn't matter. Win. A nice poem whether a ghazal or not :-)

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi - really really like this one. I always read yours, but I usually end up feeling like a shit cos you're always commenting on mine, yet I rarely say owt - but this one really "floats my boat". If you like "hydrate" = well, it's your poem, but I've got to agree with some of the others that it jarrs, but I can also imagine it spoken, when in fact I think it would be just fine... for me, it's just the look of the word on the page. xx

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Can I just say that the poem could refer to anyone who is deeply loved - an integral part of your life - not necessarily a soldier or a lover. I am fortunate never to have been in this position yet but have observed such love.

Not so sure about versatility Steve - I wanted to make this a non rhyming poem but yet again it defeated me. Rhyme just happened and then I had to follow it through to the end.

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks for your comments all. Steve/Anne - you would have to have read Shoeless's poem and the comments we exchanged on our profiles to understand where I'm at with the word hydrate. I agree that it is an odd word and not one that would usually spring to mind about a loved one. Often in my poetry, I am writing out things that have moved/upset me.

Carole's poem was about a death mask - that of a woman washed up from the Seine - an unknown woman. By some freak of co-incidence her face was used in the early versions of resucitation dummies used in first aid. Carole may well have given the kiss of life to her image. That led me to thinking about medical terms - the kind of things one would do for a patient to extend their lives - drips, hydration etc

Many on here see death as a very final end - one where all identity is lost. I prefer to be open minded. I like to think we can live on in some way through our actions and the love we have engendered - to die unknown as this woman did would be very tragic to my mind. I particularly like the idea of immortalising someone with words - after all - we are poets - that is one of the few ways we can set someone in stone.

Just my thoughts at the end of the day. x

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks Ann, you are very kind as always. xx
John, I did check the form on the web, perhaps I need to check again!

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

I also felt awkward about hydrate. Reminds me too much of all those skin anti-aging ads on TV. x

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

This is not a ghazal. You can check up on the form on the web - the Wikipedia entry on the subject has some examples. Mimi Khalvati has written several, including a beautiful one based on a poem by Hafez.

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks Dave, I think I was very very drunk at Pumpkin Soup...did I talk to you?It was the organiser's fault,they gave me free wine and I was mid-split up with my (ex) partner, I'm surprised I could see the paper lol!
x

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

Thanks Dave! :)

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

Thanks I'm pleased as punch :)and ha ha! I tried really hard to reply in lyrics too but I failed! x

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks Dave!I'm chuffed to bits :) x

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Ann Thanks for the comment on 'Bookshop'. I'm glad you liked the bit with the Observer's books. I was quite please twith that myself! I also like your rain poem for its lyricism and elegant simplicity.

Comment is about rainraingoaway (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I don't know for sure if this is a ghazal but it is a touching poem, plaintive. I keep thinking I must try a ghazal but it's been too daunting so far for me, so well done you! xx

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

So moving Isobel - the line
"alone to scale uncertain skies above,"
brought a lump to my throat. That sure is how it feels. x

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Isn't the story behind this fascinating?
Interesting how one thing does in fact lead to another...
This is very touching and beautiful, Isobel.

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

My play 'Trip to the Cottage,':theme of emigration. Casa hope St. Liverpool 17th November. Starts 8p.m.

Comment is about Poppy Picking Day (blog)

Original item by stephen smith

Thanks for comment on Mannequin.
Dave

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks for comment on Mannequin.
Dave

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Thanks for comment on Mannequin.
Dave

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Congratulations on the Lennon slam win. I enjoyed your set at Pumpkin Soup in Preston. Very good.
Dave

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Mike, I think this is wonderful, and read so well too. x

Comment is about Going Home By Candle (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Freda
Just found your page and thought I'd let you know I love Metro Lament. Great rhythm.- reminds me of one I used to recite to the kids when they wre little "The train keeps running along the line, jickety can, jickety can..."

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

Steve has said what I was gonna say. I think that last line is totally superfluous. Not so sure about losing the entire last verse though, you could just cut it dead after the 4th line?

Comment is about Loves Label Lost (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Wonderful poem, enjoyed this so much, Ray.

Comment is about When The Saints (blog)

Thanks for the invite to Sowerby Bridge, Freda, but until I can persuade my wife to relocate north I fear my visits to West Yorkshire will be few and far between! I admire the latest poem you have put up, Antique Zealot, too.

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

Hi Rachel Well done on winning the Lennon competition.

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Thanks for your comments, Greg. It must have been the wild wind and rain that led me to put that one up last night. Watching the tide turn on the Lune at Lancaster inspired it. I am very impressed by the quality of your entries. Hope to see you at Hebden again soon. or why not venture to Sowerby Bridge on the first Monday of the month. Don't think you have joined us yet?

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks for your comment Laura, you're right about the typo :-) Fixed it!

Comment is about Castaway (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Little typo maybe? 2nd line, 2nd verse - should that be detritus?

Despairing, this. Almost bleeding.

Comment is about Castaway (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny