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Noetic-fret!

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 19:33

Rachel, had me crying. Brutally honest. Needs publishing.

rgds

Mike

Comment is about Heartbreaker (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

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Noetic-fret!

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 19:29

This is a truly amazing poem. Really liked its quality, authenticity and self awareness. Loved it!

Mike

Comment is about Water resistant to a depth of 1000 tears (blog)

Original item by Michael Scott

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Noetic-fret!

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 19:21

yes yes yes joshua. Brilliant.

Comment is about Absurdities (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

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Noetic-fret!

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 19:17

Hi Joshua, been a while since I have read good work in here. (I should talk). But this is real quality. Today i have been inspired by yourself and Lynn, well done. I would love to hear a recital. Perhaps you could record it and post in here. Very nice, very thoughtful. Thanks for sharing.

rgds

Michael

Comment is about When More Has Been Said Than Done (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

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Noetic-fret!

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 19:11

This is a great poem Lynn, truly enjoyed it. Nice work if you dont mind me saying so.

stay well

mike

Comment is about Elusive (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 18:45

How lovely! He has a beautiful voice.

Comment is about New Song: "Our Never Had Romance" - Ó Cárthaigh / Schroeter (blog)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

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Joshua Van-Cook

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 18:38

re: When more has been said than done: I have generally been eating salami and cheddar toasties with birds-eye chillies thrown in when I've been writing. Not overly exciting but very nice nonetheless.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Joshua Van-Cook

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 18:28

Thank you very much for your appraisal of "Diving" and "When More Has Been Said Than Done." It is always a pleasure to hear feedback from you. I've been writing as avidly as before but have been more and more critical of my work, editing each one to death before being happy with the ones I've posted. I noticed your "Lines on Picasso's APERITIF" as being very elegant and also very apt. I hope to be able to get to Poetica again before too long. All the best

- Josh

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 18:04

Ta very much Cyn (Time).
life-cycle: it's really a comment on relativity - that doesn't quite work, because Einstein, Hawking, etc are factoring in one element that doesn't even exist - Time!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Steven Waling

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 16:30

Cynthia - they publish quite a lot of British poetry anyway so they're probably used to it. And the section I was in was a feature on the poetry of Manchester & Liverpool, edited by Liverpool poet Chris MacCabe.

Comment is about Surfaces May Be Slippery (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 16:24

Interestingly, I copied 'consensual sex' into my comment, then realized it was 'conceptual'and made the change. I think you did use the right word because it raises ideas beyond mere 'mutual agreement for intercourse'.

Comment is about Estrangement (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 16:12

It is good, Steven, skittering around with syntactical annihilation and strong allusions. Interesting that Manhattan accepted 'arse' instead of 'ass'; did they qualify you as English?

Comment is about Surfaces May Be Slippery (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

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Greg Freeman

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 16:09

I liked "shredded the sheets of Fleet Street," and then the description of where you shoved or inserted it all. Oh well, at least it's a different use than wrapping fish and chips ...

Comment is about Crafting Your Own (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 15:53

The tp is wrapped tightly around 'itself' as you might do with winding ribbon around your finger and then pulling your finger out (if it's not stuck). We've all done those inflated balloons to make a 'globe' for the EARTH! Good poem, Isobel, with your characteristic great ideas always supported by effective diction, so often riddled with a sense of hidden laughter, sometimes ruffling cynical in a 'join me' way.

Comment is about Crafting Your Own (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 15:36

My word, Josh, what are you eating these days? Depth and insight and imagination and admirable diction and internal music - the list goes on. Really good.

Comment is about When More Has Been Said Than Done (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 15:33

Look at you! Spare, enigmatic, well-turned diction, a go-where-you-will-I -don't-give-a-damn attitude. New woman arriving here, for sure.

Comment is about Poem (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 15:27

Josh, this has some intriguing thoughts, some lovely lines and fresh images. Among other lines I do like: 'folds of feelings', 'a love wrought of a dream as loneliness demands'; 'infatuated with his desire for sleep' and 'I feel to be the diver of my sleep' which are very sophisticated expressions.

Comment is about Diving (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 15:22

Cate - if toilet rolls are not allowed in school any more (??) just what do the poor kids wipe their arses on ?

Comment is about Crafting Your Own (blog)

Original item by Isobel

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 15:20

Well, well - this sounds like familiar subject matter (knicker elastic ring any bells ??).
Oh, BTW, I DID win a Blue Peter badge [smug, moi? ]

Comment is about Crafting Your Own (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 14:56

Tried chat just now but it didn't work. xx

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 14:41

Hi Lynn - I really like this very much. I love "Dreaminess" blowing kisses around! And poor old Optimism trying to cheer up Heartache! Oh dear! If only silly old Freedom would get off the fence! xx

Comment is about Elusive (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 12:42

Reminds me of my childhood :-)
Ours was hung on a rusty nail.x

Comment is about Crafting Your Own (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Lynn Dye

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 12:40

Not too sure where this one came from!!

Comment is about Elusive (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 12:37

Congratulations on this being published :-)

It feels very cold and the scenery is ice blue. I love the coffee with cardamon pods that warms it up just enough to read to the end without the need for a scarf.x

Comment is about Surfaces May Be Slippery (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 12:30

Made to make your mouth water Laura :-)

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Lynn Dye

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 12:27

Thank you for your comment, Steve. Apologies for my delay. I was trying to write about a somewhat obsessive kind of love, and figured this couple already belong, but want to find more ways in which to do so. Strange idea, probably, I can be strange, lol. Thanks again for your interest.

Comment is about Obsession (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 12:20

Hi Ann, thanks for your comment on my effort at a freedom themed poem..
and it's lovely to be back here :-)

Your comment has helped me to realize that sometimes it doesn't matter what the readers think a poem is about but if it matters to the writer how it is interpreted, further work may be needed.x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Isobel

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 11:14

I don't think Janet was saying it was uplifting Cate. I think she was celebrating poetry that goes to the heart of problems - doesn't shy away from things.
I don't know what the answer is. There are plenty I'd like to birch. To really solve it you have to get them as young children, give them decent parents and role models. How hard is it in life, if you don't have that? Bad parenting must have always existed though - without the repercussions that we now see. Perhaps a more disciplined leadersip and society helped rein it in back then... or perhaps it has something to do with too many people, not enough opportunities... or the nature of television... or a combination of all of it.

Comment is about Feral Youth (so called) (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Cate Greenlees

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 10:57

A thought provoking poem Dave. Im not sure I agree with Janet that its uplifting though. As a social comment it is powerful, pointing the flaws in the way our society deals with the troubled youth of our generation.
What the answer is I dont know, but I agree it needs addressing badly.
Cate xx

Comment is about Feral Youth (so called) (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Cate Greenlees

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 10:47

Thank God toilet rolls are not allowed in school any more cos I TOTALLY LOATHED those nasty craft lessons covered with gooey smelly thick glue sticking little bits of paper onto one!!!! YUK YUK YUK!!!
Enjoyed the poem though.... it made me smile.
Cate xx

Comment is about Crafting Your Own (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Cate Greenlees

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 10:42

A heartwrenchingly beautiful piece of writing Rachel.The first line brought tears to my eyes with its sad simplicity. Dealing with our children`s grief is so difficult on top of what we ourselves are dealing with when a serious relationship finishes, and as you vividly put it our connection to them is so powerful in its need to protect them from all hurt and harm.
I can totally empathise with what you and your children are going through. Cate xx

Comment is about Heartbreaker (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

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Chris Dawson

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 09:58

Hi Laura,
Thanks for you comments on 'Freedom' - they are very much appreciated.
Cx

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Greg Freeman

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 09:11

No, I didn't realise you actually lived in Selby, John. You will have seen the Selby coalfield pits come and go in that time. I was there for just a a year in 1977, as a district reporter for the Yorkshire Evening Press/Yorkshire Herald. I drove from York each day. When I used to return from visits down south, the sight of the Ferrybridge C cooling towers on the horizon were like a border post to me, telling me I was now back in the north! PS I've put up a poem, Treading Water, that I wrote a few months ago, about my impressions of Selby as a callow youth more than 30 years ago. I'm sure I'd see it with different eyes now.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 09:02

Hmm - from the look of her I reckon she goes bareback :)

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 09:01

Yeah - get the quantities right -"would yer like to Supersize that?"

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Isobel

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 08:37

Whadda ya mean fags Banksy? I thought you'd be the first to point out the absence of 'featherlight'. Great for anyone practising a healthy regime and guaranteed to make one lose weight...

I make a point of avoiding anything that says low fat or no sugar. They might as well write 'shite' on the side. Eat whatever you want folks - just get the quantities right.

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Isobel

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 08:34

I love the title for this Tomas. Also some of the lines and the simplicity of the music.
'And none to blame bar me the fool' is a nice line. I think the following line needs changing a bit though to make it flow better. Not sure also about the boats and ports imagery. Ships that pass in the night is a bit of an overused concept. On the whole a very pleasant piece with a gentle, tender, whistful feel to it.

Comment is about New Song: "Our Never Had Romance" - Ó Cárthaigh / Schroeter (blog)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

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John Coopey

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 00:28

Cate
Thanks for the comments on Tom Pudding. I assume when you refer to the old girl chugging away you weren't referring to Our Gert!

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

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John Coopey

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 00:23

Thanks for the comments on Tom Pudding, Greg. As you probably guess I still live in Selby and had 20 years in mining, so these are well remembered amongst us older lot.
Don't query the accuracy of it all though - there's a fair bit of poetic licence in there. For instance, Prince of Wales Colliery isn't on the canal.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Ray Miller

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 23:47

Thanks all, you're very kind.I really like the 3rd verse, though I say it myself.It's topical.I'm not sure about conceptual sex, actually. Originally, I had consensual sex, but I got told off so I changed it.Now I wonder what's wrong with consensual sex. I've probably not worded that too well. Lager and wine to blame.

Comment is about Estrangement (blog)

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Ray Miller

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 23:36

You've forgot the beer too. I think it would be better without the lines in brackets, more real. Dairy Milk Sharing Size - that's a good one. Is there such a thing? Should be the title.

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

<Deleted User> (7212)

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 23:18

Fags ! you've forgotten the F***ing Fags !!

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 22:45

I love the rhyme, flow and story of the poem. Truly, technology is more and more coming in the way of real talking: communication is becoming less and less face to face...

Comment is about Estrangement (blog)

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Michael Scott

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 20:35

Thanks both, in a lot of ways this is a happy poem to me, largely because of the of the locals faces on Pont Sully as I chucked the watch in the river and the feeling of freedom I got moments later in a fab riverside cafe. xx

Comment is about Water resistant to a depth of 1000 tears (blog)

Original item by Michael Scott

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Michael Scott

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 20:17

Here's a gush back, 'Stuck Unsaid' great language. Thanks for your comments on mine, now in yokelsound too.

Comment is about Louise Fazackerley (poet profile)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

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Francine

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 20:02

Love this!
What the watch, Paris, and the play on 'Seine' represent is brilliant!

Comment is about Water resistant to a depth of 1000 tears (blog)

Original item by Michael Scott

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 19:51

I see this as a meeting up with an old friend who has become completley materialistic and lost their soul in the process. So nice to have your clear presence back here! xx

Comment is about Goodbye Friend - Hello Freedom (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 19:48

Yeh, I've read it again and it's so brutally honest I think it's great. I'm usually a happy bunny, lucky me! I don't think I could survive being a deep soul like you. Having met you, I salute! x

Comment is about Water resistant to a depth of 1000 tears (blog)

Original item by Michael Scott

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Francine

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 19:42

This is quite interesting. I really like the play on words, and what is implied with the first and last lines...
Also, love the line: 'the ability of landscape to say exactly the opposite of what it means'

Comment is about Surfaces May Be Slippery (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 19:16

"the ability of landscape to say exactly the opposite of what it means." Great and true. It is so good to see you posting!!!! Maybe another happy outcome of the Hebden Bridge weekend?

Comment is about Surfaces May Be Slippery (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

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