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Martin Peacock

Mon 13th May 2013 21:43

Hmm. An evocative and thought-provoking poem Isobel. Poems do have the unsettling habit of reminding us of our former selves don't they? Might it be better ended by changing 'after pain' to 'aftershock'?

Comment is about A day in the life of... an old coat (blog)

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Martin Peacock

Mon 13th May 2013 21:34

Well thanky kindly for your comment on 'The Writing Class', Isobel. Oddly enough it didn't take as long to write as it did to polish up. Shaving off the rough burrs and embellishing it took much longer! I lament the fact that not much rhymed poetry gets written these day: I get the impression that, for many free verse is the default option, to the detriment of good poetic style and construction. I'd be interested in your opinion on this: all I see around me is prose poetry (of which I'm not averse - I write quite a bit myself) which ought to be but one weapon in a poet's arsenal, not the be all and end all. Perhaps I'm an anachronism, but I believe that a budding poet oughtn't to write free until they've mastered structure. Is that contentious do you think?

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winston plowes

Mon 13th May 2013 21:30

Brilliant news Frances

Comment is about Write Out Loud's reviews editor wins poetry award (article)

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winston plowes

Mon 13th May 2013 21:29

Great to see so many familiar names of Wolers in here :-) Well done all!

Comment is about Write Out Loud poets line up with famous names in Heart Shoots charity anthology (article)

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Isobel

Mon 13th May 2013 21:21

Thanks Alex/Francine - the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Let's see whether it takes off as a theme. I hope it does as I'd like to see what people make of it. There's sometimes no accounting for what people want to write about though. x

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Isobel

Mon 13th May 2013 21:02

I like this Harry - it's a well observed piece. It's funny how such moments can live with you for a lifetime - you capture it well.

Comment is about SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT? (blog)

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Harry O'Neill

Mon 13th May 2013 20:26


One more (revised) re-post from my accidently wiped profile.

Comment is about SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT? (blog)

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Graham Chadwick

Mon 13th May 2013 19:49

dear Yvonne

That's amazingly generous of you. I'll study yours hard and see what comes out. Must study use of reflexive.

I'm hoping that trying to write in French will help the compression process leaving me with "impressions" I believe Sam Beckett wrote in French for this reason - amongst others.

Meanwhile I'm having an additional bathroom installed next week and hope poets will drop in - all WOLs welcome.

Graham

Comment is about TRANSPOECY (blog)

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Yvonne Brunton

Mon 13th May 2013 19:22

Dream on! I would have volunteered for the job but J. C.'s already offered me the position of chief groupie. Oh, decisions, decisions!
However I still enjoy reading your poems and this has lots of lovely images.
XX

Comment is about A poet at prayer (blog)

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Yvonne Brunton

Mon 13th May 2013 19:12

In the firebird how's about:-
Au tombé du jour au bord du Salagou
J’ai vu l’oiseau du feu.
Dans les plissements entre les ruffes rougeâtres
Il se nourrit des grains de météore.
Tout à coup il s’est envolé,
Sa voix, "Clic, clic, clic!"
Un compteur Geiger.


Sur les collines le vent ebbouriffe

les feuilles d'olivier

Les transformant aux ailes des anges.

dans le bleu une plume argentée

cherche à devenir nuage.

mais elle se réduit, se réduit, se réduit à néant,

mais, peut-être, une intimation d'un orage,

la crise terminale de la canicule/

Le bruit blanc des cigales s'arrete, marque une pause,

et recommence.

Je n'entends que leur silence.

Des gouses d'acanthe s'explosent et jettent

leurs balles, PING, sur le toit du fer

de notre terrasse

Des cloches de chèvre tintent, quelque part, quelque part?

Parmi les arbres crie une tronçonneuse, crie, et s'arrête.

Et en haut, le bourdonnement parasseux d'un avion.


French makes frequent use of the reflexive form of the verb when there is no direct object.
It was easier to cut, paste then alter the originals rather than discuss individual words - but these are only suggestions anyway.
I enjoyed both poems graham and I envy you living in Grance!

Comment is about TRANSPOECY (blog)

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 13th May 2013 19:05

Hi Yvonne - I enjoyed your "like for like"
response on my last post (oops...sounds like I'm tempting providence...musically speaking!!)

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Yvonne Brunton

Mon 13th May 2013 18:00

Quality stuff, this, John - unlike your first shed.
Ps can I have your old shed?

Comment is about Your First Hut Is The Cheapest (blog)

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Yvonne Brunton

Mon 13th May 2013 17:54

be glad that your heart will soon have regular thumps
The time to worry is if your farts have lumps!!
Enjoyed the poem. xx

Comment is about THE MAGICAL MEDICAL MERRY-GO-ROUND (blog)

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Yvonne Brunton

Mon 13th May 2013 17:47

Excellent. Great analogy Maintianed to the end even to the name of the street. I really enjoyed this, Ian.

Comment is about Eyrie Avenue (blog)

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Rachel Bond

Mon 13th May 2013 17:23

ok will have a think...

Comment is about Violet. (Short story) (blog)

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Richard

Mon 13th May 2013 16:49

Thanks for your kind words

Richard

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<Deleted User> (11111)

Mon 13th May 2013 15:54

very nice

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Danny Metcalfe.

Mon 13th May 2013 13:24

Oh, please do. I want some feedback. :)

Comment is about Violet. (Short story) (blog)

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Freda Davis

Mon 13th May 2013 11:41

In Axilfah on Thundersday we heard a sonic boom.
The rain came down but words held sway within a tight packed room.
They came from Leeds and Lancashire, from Cleckheaton and Hudd.
They raised their arms and voices too and spoke of death and blood.
And local wordsmiths said their piece. What rants and hymns we heard
when Genevieve her coven called to utter Weird Words.

Review is about Spoken Weird on 9 May 2013 (event)

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Lynn Dye

Mon 13th May 2013 11:29

Stef, we do indeed. Hope you and Patricia are well.
Jonnie, yes, you have a point there!
Thank you very much all for your kind comments. xx

Comment is about perspective (blog)

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Graham Ramsden

Mon 13th May 2013 10:26

Thanks for the comments Solar.
Regards

Graham

Comment is about Moor Music (blog)

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vivienne blake

Mon 13th May 2013 09:16

Bi-lingual English French, I often write the same poem in both languages - not the same thing as translating it! I'd like to join in, but the Out Loud part is difficult as I only know two other (British) poets in my area of NW France.

I shall forward this to Joseph Harker, (http://namingconstellations.wordpress.com/category/reveries/)as he is a poet/translator of lots of languages, including Japanese.

Comment is about Mad experiment on Write Out Loud – translating poems online! (article)

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Rachel Bond

Mon 13th May 2013 03:08

interesting.

i could offer a lot of criticism about this and ask some questions of it...but after my last attack of your veggie subject i think ill just say that.

Comment is about Violet. (Short story) (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

<Deleted User> (9882)

Sun 12th May 2013 23:38

'she clutched him in a tangled,dry embrace'...... ........and? oh! we don't have to wait for the next episode do we Ian? that's not fair,keeping me in suspenders!....and black fishnet stockings!

seriously,a very good poem.x

Comment is about Eyrie Avenue (blog)

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Jon

Sun 12th May 2013 21:09

Upsetting,touching,dark,compelling. Possibly one of your best for me mate! 'I struggled for rainbows,wrestled with sunny days'

Comment is about Padlock (blog)

Original item by Richard Alfred

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Jon

Sun 12th May 2013 21:06

'By the hand of my past I am drowning'
Nice piece Richard,that I think,celebrates the individual.

Comment is about Seahorse (blog)

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Jonnie Falafel

Sun 12th May 2013 21:02

I like this. There was such a woman up the road from me when i ass a kid. She smelt of cloves and was always poised to pounce. Loved the cracking and popping carcass... inspired. I was trying to think of another word for 'horny' given its alternative connotations... but I couldn't!

Comment is about Eyrie Avenue (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 12th May 2013 20:59

killer last line.

Comment is about Fast, effective action (blog)

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 12th May 2013 20:57

we know better,eh Lynn?
nice one.xx

Comment is about perspective (blog)

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Jonnie Falafel

Sun 12th May 2013 20:53

That's why you shouldn't always listen to the experts! I enjoyed your poem.

Comment is about perspective (blog)

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Jonnie Falafel

Sun 12th May 2013 20:51

We've all been there. I liked that very much.

Comment is about Fast, effective action (blog)

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 12th May 2013 20:26

great stuff Ian.xx

Comment is about Eyrie Avenue (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 12th May 2013 19:52

AVB and the lads John. Dare to believe!!

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 12th May 2013 19:38

Which reminds me...I found online info. that tied the Texan LBJ of pre-White House days to an unsavoury character with a rep. for violence even unto murder, and there was a strong inference that LBJ used this guy for bad things which could be denied - and that just happened to point towards a certain murder in Dallas! The sheer number of "witnesses" who subsequently died in circumstances so weird that the odds have been given as many millions to one also supports suspicions of very big stakes and something far more worrying than mere "coincidence".

Comment is about in my head, scribbled down (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

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Dave Bradley

Sun 12th May 2013 19:21

Only just found this and am very struck. For me, it's had the biggest difference between a straight read-through and the audio track of anything I've ever encountered on WOL. For those who skip the audio, make an exception for this one.

Comment is about breathing (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 12th May 2013 19:13

Fascinating stuff. It has to be remembered that the Pacific Ocean was far less documented than now but just as vast. Perhaps a fatal crash may have been the preferred ending for those brave adventurers and one can only hope they had each other's company for comfort if they were fated to endure an isolated and painful departure from this life.

Comment is about MIRACLE (blog)

Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER

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Jon

Sun 12th May 2013 18:21

Yes,retail...know the subject well and its pitfalls. Good representation mate!

Comment is about The Customer is Always Wrong (blog)

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Jon

Sun 12th May 2013 18:18

I feel this way when going into our local Asda! I duck and dive,generally trying to keep my head down and not catch anyone's eye.Made me laugh this! 'It' just painful to be reminded that everyone you know is getting older,because it means that you are too'.
Thought the length was fine,too.

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Jon

Sun 12th May 2013 18:02

Hi Joe,
Haha! 'Another lost afternoon squares up to defeat me'. Great liitle piece mate!

Comment is about Fast, effective action (blog)

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John Coopey

Sun 12th May 2013 17:19

Whoa! Masterful, Ian.
Brilliant on so many levels, but "my bleach for life's permanent stain" is the pick.
You don't post often enough for my liking, but it's worth the wait.

Comment is about RAUCOUS (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

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Lynn Dye

Sun 12th May 2013 17:12

Another goodie, John. I enjoyed this!

Comment is about Your First Hut Is The Cheapest (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sun 12th May 2013 17:07

Good one, I enjoyed this, Ian.

Comment is about RAUCOUS (blog)

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nick armbrister

Sun 12th May 2013 15:51

see here. they look for her and have found much circumstantial evidance. bits of plane in the sea, raised up july 2014.

http://tighar.org/

Comment is about MIRACLE (blog)

Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 12th May 2013 15:25

Not only a pleasure to read but a lesson to learn.

Comment is about RAUCOUS (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 12th May 2013 15:21

One of the great mysteries of the air and a
timely reminder of the dangers of daring as we
follow the solo flight of that intrepid North
American teenager around the world at this time. Courage lives!

Comment is about MIRACLE (blog)

Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER

<Deleted User> (5011)

Sun 12th May 2013 14:37

Kate, where are you exactly - Gers? Les Landes, La Gironde? I have several contacts in le sud-ouest, having once lived in Les Landes Girondine for almost five years and regularly revisiting friends there. Can you get in touch please? julian@writeoutloud.net.
Thank you all for your comments. There is much to be done to make it work, get people using it, so forth. We have the classic difficulty of many of the groups I worked with in Rochdale and Oldham being what are described as 'hard-to-reach', most not being internet savvy. The upshot of that is that they were delighted to work with other groups producing handwritten translations, but find it too daunting, for now, to venture onto the computer, something that I should have realised. And the Urdu, Panjabi, Arabic and Bangla translations are in a script that I cannot understand enough to type in myself, in spite of the existence of online virtual keyboards. I think we might be able to solve that element for now for the work on my desk awaiting uploading, but it is getting people using the wiki for themselves - along the lines of hat happens with the blogs - that is the medium-term aim.

Comment is about Mad experiment on Write Out Loud – translating poems online! (article)

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Danny Metcalfe.

Sun 12th May 2013 14:03

Thanks for your comment. All is good. I suppose it 's a good thing it caused such a reaction. I hope you shall read more of my writing and I shall read yours also.
Hope all is well.

Comment is about Rachel Bond (poet profile)

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<Deleted User> (11064)

Sun 12th May 2013 13:49

fantastic every line i really enjoyed reading

Comment is about RAUCOUS (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

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Cathy Bryant

Sun 12th May 2013 13:31

Thank you, George!

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Kate Britten

Sun 12th May 2013 12:57

I am living and working in South West France- have set up 'Verteuil Verse' with a friend in a French/Anglo Bar in a pretty town and getting about 20 + people come and read their poems or other people's. Hoping to build on the richness of our different mother tongue/languages and the richness of different cultures creating together.

Comment is about Mad experiment on Write Out Loud – translating poems online! (article)

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